I have not updated myself in da blog..
Hmm.
apparently,
everything is so good...
and,
yea,
my phone is like dead..
Sms-es is like so rare,
and,
i changed my phone number somemore...
Hmm..
being at home is so wonderful..
i miss home,
and soon i will leave my home again
Argh..
and now i am asked to host a japanese girl
and i really hope,
i would spend more time with my family..
Mum and Dad
misses me so so so so much,
even im in KL for just 2nd day,
mummy feels lonely..
I noe how she feels,
the emptiness,
the feeling of not productive,
and mum and dad,
i always love you =)
Dear kor kor,
i had a nice chat with you..
Over the dinner just now,
i'm so sorry i can't help u to destress,
and i noe u r very stressed,
i really hope,
u at least love what you are doing,
at least the passion will drive you on,
and i hope,
u take care yourself,
take proper meals,
and have proper rest..
Heard what u said juz now,
was so touching,
and very considerate,
but im so sorry,
coz i dun earn any income.
I will save some of my income.
nii-chan
watashiga anatawo daisuki desu =)
Dear Quan,
hmm,
guess u have been checking my blog kinda often to see anything for you.
Im so sorry for the late replies,
the lots of promises to on9 that were unfulfilled.
Im sorry..
i have lotz of things to do,
to spend time with mua family,
to catch up with my frens,
to talk things out to my parents,
travelling...
arh...
Im so so so sorry..
=)
i miss ya too =)
and i really wish to go back,
but at the same time stay at home,
this feeling,
ARH
im so tired of this feeling,
trapped between both sides..
ARgh..
but yup,
guess i'll be back to sg real soon,
to work,
and to really work,
and i hope to keep myself busy,
like doing 2 part time works and earn a little more..
x.x
anyway,
i miss the times we studied in NLB Esplanade,
the little times we set up walls,
the long yet short journey to and fro the library,
the times spent on shopping for prom,
and a lot of a lot of tiny little times we spent chatting to each other.
=)
miss ya lotz,
buddy~~
Dear Rud,
im so missing u too..
i noe u dun read my blog,
but still,
i miss the times we played game,
eat noodles,
and the last few moments we really cherished.
Condolescence to ur family upon ur grandma's death,
and take care yourself,
i'll be missing you and see u in feb =)
Dear 0816,
it's my pride when i speak of u all in msia,
how bonded a class could be,
how supportive a class could be,
how wonderful a class could be,
how amazing u people are to me..
Thanks,
and i really gonna miss the times spent with u all...
I hope,
i really do hope,
we would at least meet up at least once a year,
and have a real big chat..
Please live on the 0816 spirit,
and let it burn till the end of our lives..
=)
Dear councilors,
i'm so glad being part of the family,
and i've really grown so so so much,
because of the times we spent together,
making mistakes,
amending them,
and then settle them.
I've learnt to see life differently,
due to the fact that we are all people with different characteristic.
I love and miss the times spent with u all =)
31st,
forever =)
Dear Default
eventhough we are from various parts of Msia,
eventually,
we are fated to be together for this short time period.
Im sorry for not being able to be there for all the times,
but still i cherish the things we had done..
thanks =)
Ultimately,
i miss my life in Sg,
and i love my life now,
being in Sitiawan,
where should i go when i'm trapped in between?
Confused
Venn~
Wednesday, December 16
Monday, December 7
My 2nd Departure
I wonder,
this time,
how will i be..
In fact,
i know i will break down totally..
Im sad,
to leave this place,
even though the stress,
even though the sucky hostel,
even though the depression i felt,
even all the bad things happening over here..
i am sad to leave..
Thinking of it,
Some has left,
some haven't..
And next would be me..
im gonna miss all the times in Singapore..
"They are gonna ostracize you"
that's wat my senior told me bout singaporean..
But in fact,
i nv even encounter it at all..
And i noe,
all i have over here is,
my foreign frens..
Not my parents,
not my hometown frens,
just all my new frens..
Sometimes,
thinking back,
i regret,
for not doing some of the things i could have done better,
for some of the things i ignored coz of my tiredness..
Im sorry if i hadn't put in my best-est effort,
but really,
i regret..
Recently,
the saddest thing for me,
is,
my class,
Council,
and Rud..
I wonder,
wat's wrong with me..
maybe i just love all of them to the max..
Attended prom,
Had stay-over after prom,
wasn't full strength,
but still,
it's so touching,
to see everyone so happy..
My dear classmates,
im so sorry,
for being so irritating at times,
for being so insensitive at times..
But i hope,
my existence in the class has in a way or another,
change the mood of the class,
change the impression of a malaysian,
change the thoughts in ur life,
change the strength of ur heart..
I kept thinking,
of all places,
i get into Singapore,
and of all JCs,
i got Nanyang,
and of all classes,
i got 0816,
and of all people,
it's none other than the 23 + 1 of u guys..
really,
i felt so lucky,
and blessed,
to really have such a class...
"People come and go in your life"
"People come into ur life for a reason.."
I hope,
i fulfilled my reason in ur life..
I dun think that this is the end,
but i cant be too optimistic to say that we will always be as close as now..
I noe this will gonna drift us away,
due to different spaces,
different lives,
different times,
different socialising circles,
and different expectation.
I just hope that we could have a yearly outing,
and really really keep this bonded class together..
I forgot since when,
i state that i have 2 families in Singapore,
1 is 31st council,
and the other one is 0816..
Thanks guys..
really,
i have not been so loved in a class,
so being pampered,
so being accepted for who i am..
Thanks a lot..
My dear class,
could we try our best to keep in touch,
and at least,
increase the half-life of the decay of our frenship?
=)
i have faith in all of us..
The ONE AND ONLY 0816..
Council,
my dear 31st..
For all the things we had gone through,
for everything that we had suffered together,
that we have laughed together..
we will miss it..
and i know we are kinda drifting away,
but yet,
we are still one,
ONE AND ONLY 31st
Rud.
my Most wonderful buddy in singapore,
my most wonderful soulmate..
Thanks for everything,
for all the strength and courage u give me,
for all the encouragement and listening ears,
for all the care and concern u gave me,
for all the love a buddy could give,
thanks..
and im so gonna miss u..
this time,
how will i be..
In fact,
i know i will break down totally..
Im sad,
to leave this place,
even though the stress,
even though the sucky hostel,
even though the depression i felt,
even all the bad things happening over here..
i am sad to leave..
Thinking of it,
Some has left,
some haven't..
And next would be me..
im gonna miss all the times in Singapore..
"They are gonna ostracize you"
that's wat my senior told me bout singaporean..
But in fact,
i nv even encounter it at all..
And i noe,
all i have over here is,
my foreign frens..
Not my parents,
not my hometown frens,
just all my new frens..
Sometimes,
thinking back,
i regret,
for not doing some of the things i could have done better,
for some of the things i ignored coz of my tiredness..
Im sorry if i hadn't put in my best-est effort,
but really,
i regret..
Recently,
the saddest thing for me,
is,
my class,
Council,
and Rud..
I wonder,
wat's wrong with me..
maybe i just love all of them to the max..
Attended prom,
Had stay-over after prom,
wasn't full strength,
but still,
it's so touching,
to see everyone so happy..
My dear classmates,
im so sorry,
for being so irritating at times,
for being so insensitive at times..
But i hope,
my existence in the class has in a way or another,
change the mood of the class,
change the impression of a malaysian,
change the thoughts in ur life,
change the strength of ur heart..
I kept thinking,
of all places,
i get into Singapore,
and of all JCs,
i got Nanyang,
and of all classes,
i got 0816,
and of all people,
it's none other than the 23 + 1 of u guys..
really,
i felt so lucky,
and blessed,
to really have such a class...
"People come and go in your life"
"People come into ur life for a reason.."
I hope,
i fulfilled my reason in ur life..
I dun think that this is the end,
but i cant be too optimistic to say that we will always be as close as now..
I noe this will gonna drift us away,
due to different spaces,
different lives,
different times,
different socialising circles,
and different expectation.
I just hope that we could have a yearly outing,
and really really keep this bonded class together..
I forgot since when,
i state that i have 2 families in Singapore,
1 is 31st council,
and the other one is 0816..
Thanks guys..
really,
i have not been so loved in a class,
so being pampered,
so being accepted for who i am..
Thanks a lot..
My dear class,
could we try our best to keep in touch,
and at least,
increase the half-life of the decay of our frenship?
=)
i have faith in all of us..
The ONE AND ONLY 0816..
Council,
my dear 31st..
For all the things we had gone through,
for everything that we had suffered together,
that we have laughed together..
we will miss it..
and i know we are kinda drifting away,
but yet,
we are still one,
ONE AND ONLY 31st
Rud.
my Most wonderful buddy in singapore,
my most wonderful soulmate..
Thanks for everything,
for all the strength and courage u give me,
for all the encouragement and listening ears,
for all the care and concern u gave me,
for all the love a buddy could give,
thanks..
and im so gonna miss u..
My Life = Passenger of MRT
hi again,
these few days,
it's kinda emo period,
and that's all tat need to break me down
DEPARTURE
this will be the 2nd time of departure..
i know this will be so much harder than the first..
Was thinking,
life is so like an MRT,
and im like a passenger.
Thinking back,
it's so true..
Im like a passenger..
Some people come into my life,
some people get out of my life,
in the middle of my ride.
Some get off,
and hop on at another station..
Some in the MRT made an impact,
that can let me feel so touched,
made me learn..
Some in the MRT create anger,
frustration,
by not showing Care..
Sometimes,
it's a pleasant journey,
sometimes,
it's a sad journey,
and sometimes,
it's a happy journey..
Sometimes,
i dun wanna see some people in the MRT,
sometimes,
i just can't wait to see the person in my life again..
MRT could stuck in the middle of the track,
showing life would be so mundane some times,
and some may even accelerate,
so fast that we could not even catch its pace..
these few days,
it's kinda emo period,
and that's all tat need to break me down
DEPARTURE
this will be the 2nd time of departure..
i know this will be so much harder than the first..
Was thinking,
life is so like an MRT,
and im like a passenger.
Thinking back,
it's so true..
Im like a passenger..
Some people come into my life,
some people get out of my life,
in the middle of my ride.
Some get off,
and hop on at another station..
Some in the MRT made an impact,
that can let me feel so touched,
made me learn..
Some in the MRT create anger,
frustration,
by not showing Care..
Sometimes,
it's a pleasant journey,
sometimes,
it's a sad journey,
and sometimes,
it's a happy journey..
Sometimes,
i dun wanna see some people in the MRT,
sometimes,
i just can't wait to see the person in my life again..
MRT could stuck in the middle of the track,
showing life would be so mundane some times,
and some may even accelerate,
so fast that we could not even catch its pace..
Friday, November 20
Sigh
What d heck man?
Sometimes,
life just don't come it the way we want it..
yup,
totally agree,
but i noe i can make a difference,
coz what i believe,
and what i trusted so much,
is destiny..
Being fatalistic,
in fact,
really allow me to love my life like damn lot..
Heard complaints bout Econs,
no matter how hard it was,
and everything is over,
what could we even do to change the exam script?
Nothing..
And this led to thoughts like wasting time in Sg,
and stuffs like accepting the decision of being tortured by such pressurising education system,
but to me,
i noe that's my destiny..
of coz i've thought of these,
of coz i felt the way,
but then again,
i still love my life,
for wat it brings to me,
i noe,
tat's for a reason,
for wat im doing,
it's just fated..
Was raining while i walk home,
yup,
was heavy,
called u,
like always,
u nv reply my call..
In the end,
i rather not call u anymore,
coz we had an argument just becoz of asking u to fetch me the other day..
since tat's so hard,
i felt that,
what's frenship?
isn't it obvious why i call u in this rain?
and what u could do was,
not even a call,
of coz not there with an umbrella for me..
What u did was just a message,
with text " ? "
Wat else could u do?
Im actually very very disappointed..
I noe u saw me totally wet,
i dun wanna talk much to u,
i noe these things need not need to say..
yesterday i came back by then's car,
and i still call u to ensure u have an umbrella,
and that's what u can do for me?
Im,
disappointed.
Another incident,
ya,
my dear fren over there,
haha,
"i dun like it when i need to fake a smile...
and act as like nothing's wrong"
thanks man,
Thanks for being so fake..
Now i noe how u think,
now,
i noe why u hav such problems u used to complain to me..
ur frens are just tired of u..
and i am too..
U ain't putting effort,
U ain't doing anything,
and u hope the frenship will live on?
Dream..
Thanks man,
now i noe what's in ur mind..
Since u need to fake,
might as well don't smile!!
Whatever man!
Hahaha..
I accepted u for all ur attitude,
and just small things,
and i wasn't the person who scoffed at ur junior,
and u blame me for taking sides,
when im listening to both sides..
As u wish la..
Like it ur way,
i've foresee this frenship to end,
but nv expected it would be this way,
Thanks for ending the pain..
U take care and live on ya..
And thanks for everything,
especially the stay u provided to me..
Im so sorry i'm just too tired,
of being the one saving frenship,
while u sit there and do nothing,
but just complaining about
"Eww.. feel so fake to smile.."
Grow up!!
And u r going into the society,
things dun happen the way u want it to be..
With this kind of "PRINCE" attitude,
i doubt u will even survive,
all u can do is just grunt..
In the meantime,
i've got this new fren,
not really new,
but just got close to him like recently..
he expects nothing much,
even today i asked him whether U're back,
and eventually,
this new fren even care more than U do..
he still asks where am i,
and whether i need an umbrella,
and he wouldn't mind to come and fetch me..
u?
Thanks for that "?"
ya..
tat's wat u call buddy..
Sometimes,
relationship,
we needa let it go,
it doesn't happen the way we want,
coz it's 2-sided,
and i can only give my best,
and up to u..
im sorry to be frank,
But i was pissed off with both the YOUs..
Sometimes,
life just don't come it the way we want it..
yup,
totally agree,
but i noe i can make a difference,
coz what i believe,
and what i trusted so much,
is destiny..
Being fatalistic,
in fact,
really allow me to love my life like damn lot..
Heard complaints bout Econs,
no matter how hard it was,
and everything is over,
what could we even do to change the exam script?
Nothing..
And this led to thoughts like wasting time in Sg,
and stuffs like accepting the decision of being tortured by such pressurising education system,
but to me,
i noe that's my destiny..
of coz i've thought of these,
of coz i felt the way,
but then again,
i still love my life,
for wat it brings to me,
i noe,
tat's for a reason,
for wat im doing,
it's just fated..
Was raining while i walk home,
yup,
was heavy,
called u,
like always,
u nv reply my call..
In the end,
i rather not call u anymore,
coz we had an argument just becoz of asking u to fetch me the other day..
since tat's so hard,
i felt that,
what's frenship?
isn't it obvious why i call u in this rain?
and what u could do was,
not even a call,
of coz not there with an umbrella for me..
What u did was just a message,
with text " ? "
Wat else could u do?
Im actually very very disappointed..
I noe u saw me totally wet,
i dun wanna talk much to u,
i noe these things need not need to say..
yesterday i came back by then's car,
and i still call u to ensure u have an umbrella,
and that's what u can do for me?
Im,
disappointed.
Another incident,
ya,
my dear fren over there,
haha,
"i dun like it when i need to fake a smile...
and act as like nothing's wrong"
thanks man,
Thanks for being so fake..
Now i noe how u think,
now,
i noe why u hav such problems u used to complain to me..
ur frens are just tired of u..
and i am too..
U ain't putting effort,
U ain't doing anything,
and u hope the frenship will live on?
Dream..
Thanks man,
now i noe what's in ur mind..
Since u need to fake,
might as well don't smile!!
Whatever man!
Hahaha..
I accepted u for all ur attitude,
and just small things,
and i wasn't the person who scoffed at ur junior,
and u blame me for taking sides,
when im listening to both sides..
As u wish la..
Like it ur way,
i've foresee this frenship to end,
but nv expected it would be this way,
Thanks for ending the pain..
U take care and live on ya..
And thanks for everything,
especially the stay u provided to me..
Im so sorry i'm just too tired,
of being the one saving frenship,
while u sit there and do nothing,
but just complaining about
"Eww.. feel so fake to smile.."
Grow up!!
And u r going into the society,
things dun happen the way u want it to be..
With this kind of "PRINCE" attitude,
i doubt u will even survive,
all u can do is just grunt..
In the meantime,
i've got this new fren,
not really new,
but just got close to him like recently..
he expects nothing much,
even today i asked him whether U're back,
and eventually,
this new fren even care more than U do..
he still asks where am i,
and whether i need an umbrella,
and he wouldn't mind to come and fetch me..
u?
Thanks for that "?"
ya..
tat's wat u call buddy..
Sometimes,
relationship,
we needa let it go,
it doesn't happen the way we want,
coz it's 2-sided,
and i can only give my best,
and up to u..
im sorry to be frank,
But i was pissed off with both the YOUs..
Tuesday, November 17
Stressed..
It has been a stressful period..
Indeed,
A levels is stressful..
Yup,
i cried today,
after so much things on my shoulder,
and i cried coz i miss home...
after so much things happening over here,
what i could really miss is home..
i've never had this feelings before,
never ever loved my home so much..
what im hoping now is,
go home and spend lotz of time with my family..
now it's like 0019,
and im so stressed up...
Lotz of think cocked up,
lotz of things fucked up..
yet,
that's much more for me to learn,
much more for me to endure..
i'm losing my momentum on this A's..
and it's freaking tiring..
how i wish it would be over like real soon..
Days were so different from SPM..
where i slacked off nearly all the paper,
as i was too complacent..
I made my own cheesecake with munkit and quang,
i love my sweet stuff..
i bought myself a new slippers =)
i love it like hell lot...
=)
im loving each and everyday,
and my days are gonna end soon in singapore..
Im gonna miss NYJC,
Esplanade library,
Oldham hall,
Sentosa,
ECP,
MRTs,
and of coz Parry hall..
arh,
days are like gonna end soon,
and it's time to pack myself up to the next stage of life,
wonder what will happen when i reach the end of my life..
where will i go?
what will happen?
really,
im freaking out just by thinking bout that..
everyone will be forgotten someday,
and what's gonna happen?
im scared..
i love those dear to me,
i dun wanna take them for granted,
and im giving my best to them..
Yet,
sometimes,
i feel like being taken for granted,
am fine with that,
but please do not go overboard,
as this is the sensitive period that we all will break down very easily..
I cried,
coz i realise my frens are not that expressive,
and im just too tired to figure out..
Eventually,
im at fault..
sorry..
Arh..
anyway,
exams are bad,
and stress is devouring everyone...
i love Table tennis,
and jiayou Zhen Ting,
though i nv really spend time with u..
hope,
u will made the correct decision,
and hope u have a bright future,
All the best..
Thanks world for wonderful days everyday..
I love my life,
thanks to u who plans every single bits and pieces of my life...
thanks..
Indeed,
A levels is stressful..
Yup,
i cried today,
after so much things on my shoulder,
and i cried coz i miss home...
after so much things happening over here,
what i could really miss is home..
i've never had this feelings before,
never ever loved my home so much..
what im hoping now is,
go home and spend lotz of time with my family..
now it's like 0019,
and im so stressed up...
Lotz of think cocked up,
lotz of things fucked up..
yet,
that's much more for me to learn,
much more for me to endure..
i'm losing my momentum on this A's..
and it's freaking tiring..
how i wish it would be over like real soon..
Days were so different from SPM..
where i slacked off nearly all the paper,
as i was too complacent..
I made my own cheesecake with munkit and quang,
i love my sweet stuff..
i bought myself a new slippers =)
i love it like hell lot...
=)
im loving each and everyday,
and my days are gonna end soon in singapore..
Im gonna miss NYJC,
Esplanade library,
Oldham hall,
Sentosa,
ECP,
MRTs,
and of coz Parry hall..
arh,
days are like gonna end soon,
and it's time to pack myself up to the next stage of life,
wonder what will happen when i reach the end of my life..
where will i go?
what will happen?
really,
im freaking out just by thinking bout that..
everyone will be forgotten someday,
and what's gonna happen?
im scared..
i love those dear to me,
i dun wanna take them for granted,
and im giving my best to them..
Yet,
sometimes,
i feel like being taken for granted,
am fine with that,
but please do not go overboard,
as this is the sensitive period that we all will break down very easily..
I cried,
coz i realise my frens are not that expressive,
and im just too tired to figure out..
Eventually,
im at fault..
sorry..
Arh..
anyway,
exams are bad,
and stress is devouring everyone...
i love Table tennis,
and jiayou Zhen Ting,
though i nv really spend time with u..
hope,
u will made the correct decision,
and hope u have a bright future,
All the best..
Thanks world for wonderful days everyday..
I love my life,
thanks to u who plans every single bits and pieces of my life...
thanks..
Saturday, November 14
Songs i loved.... =)
圆缘圈
手牵着手
我们共围个圈
圈中又圈
圈着我们的心
心牵着心
我们共画个圈
圈中又圈
为生命画圆
相聚是缘 完美是缘
让完美的缘能变得更圆
让我们感谢父母恩情
让我们圆缘
惜缘是圆 一切随缘
当你遇到挫折切莫忘记
我们彼此还拥有这份
最圆的缘
当岁月在考验我们
记得为彼此画圈
把彼此的圈画得更圆
圈着彼此的缘
团圆
一个人孤孤单单走到海角天边
偶尔想从前回味成长的酸和甜
多希望有一天能再轻抚你的脸
再多的辛苦
披星戴月
心甘情愿
全世界
走一遍
不枉来人间兜一圈
梦可以
很遥远
狂风暴雨都不改变
全世界
心相连
用爱围一个大圈圈
梦就算
再遥远
心里有家就会团圆
手牵着手
我们共围个圈
圈中又圈
圈着我们的心
心牵着心
我们共画个圈
圈中又圈
为生命画圆
相聚是缘 完美是缘
让完美的缘能变得更圆
让我们感谢父母恩情
让我们圆缘
惜缘是圆 一切随缘
当你遇到挫折切莫忘记
我们彼此还拥有这份
最圆的缘
当岁月在考验我们
记得为彼此画圈
把彼此的圈画得更圆
圈着彼此的缘
团圆
一个人孤孤单单走到海角天边
偶尔想从前回味成长的酸和甜
多希望有一天能再轻抚你的脸
再多的辛苦
披星戴月
心甘情愿
全世界
走一遍
不枉来人间兜一圈
梦可以
很遥远
狂风暴雨都不改变
全世界
心相连
用爱围一个大圈圈
梦就算
再遥远
心里有家就会团圆
Thursday, November 5
Midst of Preparation for As..
Now,
i noe how korkor feels..
how stressful the education could be in singapore.
Im tired of this last lap..
im putting my effort,
my best effort,
but still,
i cannot do much..
im so weak..
"This is the last leg of the race, Charge on all the way!"
Marky sent me this with a chocolate biscuit..
How sweet that is..
really,
im touched,
by what this tiny little things people are giving me at this moment..
Thanks a lot,
all my friends..
Quan,
thanks for everything,
calming me down,
baring with my angst,
and every single frustration u get from me..
im sorry..
really,
thanks for everything,
all the accompany,
and all the encouragement..
Thanks a lot...
Eddie,
wonderful buddy u r there,
was just joking bout having dinner over at ur place,
immediately u would wanna call ur mom to prepare some extra for us..
Thanks eddie,
for being so accommodating..
Yannie,
thanks for all the things u helped me,
especially in maths..
and every thing else..
MingSze,
for the mahjongs,
swimming plans and everything,
thanks,
for even offering the place for us to study..
Matthew,
for those funny looks u gave us,
for studying together..
Evelyn,
arh.. thanks for studying with me..
i hope u r more confident..
and jiayou..
Rud,
for always being there for me..
i thank u for the care u've always given me..
In this midst of preparation,
im so sorry coz i've like having some friendship drifting further away from me..
Fear has crippled all over me..
SPM was a piece of cake coz i know im coming here...
A levels determines everything..
and im scared..
really freaking out..
i hope i would feel this way like so much earlier
so i could do much more..
but whatever it is..
im glad for whatever happened
and i will do my best
for eveyrthing now on..
really..
thanks for all the supports..
Thanks for everything..
Venn here,
still doing fine,
and im still loving my life,
forever i hope =)
i noe how korkor feels..
how stressful the education could be in singapore.
Im tired of this last lap..
im putting my effort,
my best effort,
but still,
i cannot do much..
im so weak..
"This is the last leg of the race, Charge on all the way!"
Marky sent me this with a chocolate biscuit..
How sweet that is..
really,
im touched,
by what this tiny little things people are giving me at this moment..
Thanks a lot,
all my friends..
Quan,
thanks for everything,
calming me down,
baring with my angst,
and every single frustration u get from me..
im sorry..
really,
thanks for everything,
all the accompany,
and all the encouragement..
Thanks a lot...
Eddie,
wonderful buddy u r there,
was just joking bout having dinner over at ur place,
immediately u would wanna call ur mom to prepare some extra for us..
Thanks eddie,
for being so accommodating..
Yannie,
thanks for all the things u helped me,
especially in maths..
and every thing else..
MingSze,
for the mahjongs,
swimming plans and everything,
thanks,
for even offering the place for us to study..
Matthew,
for those funny looks u gave us,
for studying together..
Evelyn,
arh.. thanks for studying with me..
i hope u r more confident..
and jiayou..
Rud,
for always being there for me..
i thank u for the care u've always given me..
In this midst of preparation,
im so sorry coz i've like having some friendship drifting further away from me..
Fear has crippled all over me..
SPM was a piece of cake coz i know im coming here...
A levels determines everything..
and im scared..
really freaking out..
i hope i would feel this way like so much earlier
so i could do much more..
but whatever it is..
im glad for whatever happened
and i will do my best
for eveyrthing now on..
really..
thanks for all the supports..
Thanks for everything..
Venn here,
still doing fine,
and im still loving my life,
forever i hope =)
Blogging?
Hmm..
It has been quite some time since i blogged.
In this messy moment,
im breaking down soon..
im tired,
exhausted
dying..
Yet,
im happy to have this kind of life,
im glad that everything is fine now.
I noe im not 100% prepared,
i noe im not working to my maximum capacity,
but im glad that this is my best effort in education ever since young.
Never have i felt insecure in studies,
never have i felt helpless in studies,
never have i felt so enjoyable while studying,
until i came to Singapore
I formatted my comp,
i lost the link to all the blogs i used to visit,
and now,
i've got it back..
Even though i've spent quite some time searching it,
which i should be using it to study,
but i feel so much better..
even though we lost contact,
even though we are so like acquaintance now,
i dun care..
coz we were once friend,
close friend,
buddy..
I doubt u r still reading my blog,
but im fine with it..
the awkwardness i use to feel has started melting away,
at least,
we still smile when we meet..
and,
i won't forget the times i spent at ur place..
I thank you for everything u have given me during my wonderful singapore life..
I'm still waiting for the A's to be over,
so that we could at least talk once again,
even though the chances are so low..
i still believe,
if we both care for the friendship,
we will eventually be still friends.
Even if i had to go back to malaysia,
Fate would bring us back once again,
if we are fated to be friends..
And all i wish is,
u take care and hope u r successful with ur aims and goals..
All the best, Nic
I dropped by ur photobucket,
i saw some familiar photos,
and this 3 are those taken when we had our dinner,
if i was not wrong,
it's 30th April.
And i would wanna remember that moment,
we both are so frank to each other,
and we talked so much..
Eventually,
i know what's done couldn't be undone,
and u keep insisting that i've taken side..
U did too..
Remember that,
we both took sides with both we strongly believe in..
And,
eventually,
those things does not really started from us.
and i hope things would get better,
and yup,
let our juniors settle themselves..
Guess im old and tired of these things anymore,
what matters most is our A's now..
I really wish u all the best in ur future endeavours.
I'll remember you,
Nic Tay
It has been quite some time since i blogged.
In this messy moment,
im breaking down soon..
im tired,
exhausted
dying..
Yet,
im happy to have this kind of life,
im glad that everything is fine now.
I noe im not 100% prepared,
i noe im not working to my maximum capacity,
but im glad that this is my best effort in education ever since young.
Never have i felt insecure in studies,
never have i felt helpless in studies,
never have i felt so enjoyable while studying,
until i came to Singapore
I formatted my comp,
i lost the link to all the blogs i used to visit,
and now,
i've got it back..
Even though i've spent quite some time searching it,
which i should be using it to study,
but i feel so much better..
even though we lost contact,
even though we are so like acquaintance now,
i dun care..
coz we were once friend,
close friend,
buddy..
I doubt u r still reading my blog,
but im fine with it..
the awkwardness i use to feel has started melting away,
at least,
we still smile when we meet..
and,
i won't forget the times i spent at ur place..
I thank you for everything u have given me during my wonderful singapore life..
I'm still waiting for the A's to be over,
so that we could at least talk once again,
even though the chances are so low..
i still believe,
if we both care for the friendship,
we will eventually be still friends.
Even if i had to go back to malaysia,
Fate would bring us back once again,
if we are fated to be friends..
And all i wish is,
u take care and hope u r successful with ur aims and goals..
All the best, Nic
I dropped by ur photobucket,
i saw some familiar photos,
and this 3 are those taken when we had our dinner,
if i was not wrong,
it's 30th April.
And i would wanna remember that moment,
we both are so frank to each other,
and we talked so much..
Eventually,i know what's done couldn't be undone,
and u keep insisting that i've taken side..
U did too..
Remember that,
we both took sides with both we strongly believe in..
And,
eventually,
those things does not really started from us.
and i hope things would get better,
and yup,
let our juniors settle themselves..
Guess im old and tired of these things anymore,
what matters most is our A's now..
I really wish u all the best in ur future endeavours.
I'll remember you,
Nic Tay
Sunday, October 18
0816 - The most beloved class ever..
0816,
it was just like yesterday since we met,
fated i shall say,
of so many classes with the same combination,
we r put altogether,
in this wonderful class.
No doubt,
we are just so different from one another,
put together,
and yet we clique so well,
and our character compliments one another's
It was wonderful when i speak about it,
and it is just so amazing,
how could 24 people of different character,
still manage to blend together so well..
I believe,
this bond is just wonderful..
It was Level Camp,
when i first saw all of u..
I was scared,
coz i'm a Malaysian..
I heard of outcasts,
i heard of unfriendly attitudes towards foreigners,
but it never ever happened to me..
It was tough being a facil for our own class,
it was tough not going through orientation with u guys,
i thought i have missed the chance to really know each other.
i remembered i cried during end of the session,
i remembered talking bout my scar and sacrificing for the class,
which i really meant it..
i still know each and everyone of u,
well enough...
Normal lessons started,
from J1 to J2...
It was hard to cope with our studies,
it was hard for me to really blend into our class..
I was trapped between council and squash,
and i didn't had passion towards our class..
I'm Sorry,
and now i noe,
the greatest support of going school,
is Our class,
is 0816,
is all of u,
is my new family..
Thanks to QH,
we are bonded so well..
We have different attitudes towards him,
Hatred, Pity, Fear and there weren't any good feelings bout him..
He started all himself,
even till the last day,
he was absent,
and it was the really worst thing he should do..
I would still pray for him..
that he would at least learn to socialise..
J1 was happy moments,
till PW came out,
which was madness,
and then comes Midyears,
and then Promos,
finally OP..
Promos,
was worrying,
and i really hoped,
each and everyone of us has successfully get to J2..
and my prayers were answered..
and i forgot when,
my heart was much more with our class than any one else..
Thank you my dearest class,
i find that sometimes i really neglected u..
when council was busy,
u all never gave me up,
even though i was dying,
u all supported me..
u all never really talked bad bout council,
and even suggested stuff bout council..
Fridays when we are wearing class-T,
i had to wear council-T,
Even so,
no complaints made..
I'm really thankful for all the supports u all gave..
Till i step down from council,
i realised,
My class was so so so so much more wonderful..
We clique,
but then we still interact among each other,
we tease each other,
we really still laugh at each other..
and there are down moments,
where we were really there for one another..
i regretted skipping school when i was in J1..
coz i've lost so many many chances to really spend time with u all..
Yet,
we have stayed strong till the end,
i'm really very glad that we are just so wonderful..
23 people,
1 class,
1 heart,
and that's what i love..
I really love this class...
and thanks very much for painting my JC life so wonderful..
It's so hard to really express myself,
but i really love 0816 till the max..
Let's work hard for our A Levels... =)
Ming Sze
Thanks for everything you've done for the class..
You are really a knowledgeable person,
and thanks a lot in helping in a lot of ways..
Even though we argued a lot,
yet,
it never really affect our friendship..
Those touching in lectures would be memorable to u =)
Pynx
Thanks for everything, be it council or the class..
You've always praised that i'm very gentleman,
but then,
i realise i'm not gentleman enough..
Thanks for trusting me so much,
and telling me so much things to me bout yourself..
I love ur dancing and your sensitiveness and sportiness =)
Chiam
Thanks for everything, especially those helps in events..
Those last minutes had given you so much troubles..
And i really love ur attitude when u are working for the best (The One)
B***hing in class was fun,
but i dun really get to do that with you..
Maybe some other time kk?
Jamie
You are really wonderful..
You made the effort just for the class..
The last minute photo takings,
and the photo uploads are really fast..
and i really thank you for everything..
=) i shall conform... EAT MORE kk?
Evelyn
I was amazed and shocked that PW result day..
The way u spoke to Hui Quan,
was just so shocking and so matured..
Ever since then,
I know u r really matured,
and u are really putting in a lot of effort for everything..
Especially for class activities,
you are always there..
Thanks...
Hannah
Hmm.. i love your easy-going character..
=) i love your dancing,
and i really love spending with you =)
Sorry for the lactose intolerant incident..
Thanks for the wonderful outings that we had =)
Eddie
Omg, I thank you for a lot of things..
Thanks for bringing home-cooked food,
and it really makes me feel so warm and at home in Singapore..
You showed me that people can be accomodating,
and it really touches me when i'm a foreigner..
Thanks a lot eddie for the jokes and laughter we shared,
and even physics that you taught me..
Thanks a lot
HongZuo
ever since that incident,
i know you really much more..
You are just so kind-hearted and dedicated..
It wasn't your fault,
but was her choice,
i hope u get over it..
Thanks for making my Asean Dance wonderful,
Thanks for all the silly things that made us laugh..
I'll remember..
"Why would u buy a diamond even during recession?"
"Because it's shiny"
=)
YiXuan
Thanks a lot for our PW stuff..
You are a good leader,
who is always there for each meeting,
even if u r late by a minute,
you would still contact us in advance..
I love to make u stone coz u dunno how to react,
and i love ur helpfulness..
Thanks alot for putting so much effort for the class too..
You are always there for the class..
Thanks
Rebekah
You are really prettyl.. =)
and i really like the way u match ur earring and hairband =)
and i love your sportiness especially in sports..
oh,
i love ur cool and calm reaction even though u r so nervous inside.
Haha.. =)
Thanks a lot for being so supportive..
HuiQuan
Haha.. whatever i need to tell you,
i think you already know,
i thank you for always being there for me,
so supportive and so encouraging..
You are an amazingly good listener,
that provokes everyone to speak to u..
Mama of the class,
keep it up..
Justin
"Nicely Done"
"Good Job"
and i'm gonna miss all these..
I'm gonna miss the days that you make fun of Diana and Hui Hui..
and thanks a lot,
in participating in the class events,
and representing our class in the sports games..
Thanks a lot for being there for the class..
Matthew
You are streetwise,
and u know how to behave in different situations..
Supportive for the class,
and thanks for the smses..
I love ur punctuality and always being there for our class..
YanJie
The early bird of our class..
Went through a lot of similar situations as me..
Always sensitive towards how others feel..
You always cool me down and spot for my down moments..
and provide encouragement and listening ears to me...
Thanks a lot for everything..
MingWei
Darling.. It was like so long ago since i've called u that..
We have drifted apart but i hope to keep this friendship forever..
I'm sorry for not being there when u really needed me..
and Thank you for everything,
Wonderful moments in council,
supportive to the class,
the moments we pon-ed lessons,
and the visit to ur house..
=) Thanks for always being there for me..
TeckWei
I call you Darling
I know you are one person who are so dedicated to your relationship..
You are so cool especially when u play badminton... =)
I like ur hugs and massages..
i'm gonna miss them,
and thanks a lot for those friendly hugs that made me felt warm..
Thanks for everything..
Diana
Assistant Class Rep..
Even though u r blur,
I know that u r very observant..
Very mild-tempered and patient even when people tease and make fun of you..
Thanks for cheering the class up and bringing so much laughter to the class..
Terence
Hi Then,
i love those moments DotA-ing with u..
And you are really smart =)
Thanks for teaching me stuff by provoking me to think,
and that really made me learn..
Thanks for being there for the class always..
HuiHui
I love ur voice..
You can really sing but please sing at a correct time =)
and i love speaking Jap with ya.. =) those were fun moments,
when we speak some language others dun understand..
Haha..
Thanks for being so cheerful (even though u have ur soft side)
but i am grateful for what you've done for the class,
encouraging and inspiring..
Prae
Darling~~
"I watch PORN everyday" =)
You are always so gentle and approachable..
You tried to be there for us,
even though u have something else..
Very thoughtful as u always photocopy notes for us,
Thank you very much for all the supports to the class..
ChoonLian
Brother,
I really love spending time with you..
I remembered the time we ate at Tiong Bahru,
That was the only day we had together..
haha.. sound so wrong,
but i'm grateful for u always being there for me..
Even though those teasing was just for fun,
but i hope u know the limit kk? ><
I love u still, brother =)
Kristle,
My one and only dear OG-mate..
I was glad to know that you are in my class..
The first person i know in class =)
I'm gonna miss those moments poking you,
and you make those funny sounds.. sounds wrong but we know what =) hhaha
Thanks for always being there for the class,
and putting in the effort for the class..
Zipporah
Hey Zip,
I know you through Bel..
Remember?
haha.. i love those heart to heart talk,
even though it was awkward for u,
but u still share..
I love talking to u real much,
and i really love ur frankness..
Thanks for everything,
especially you made the effort just to come to school even if you are sick..
Thanks a lot...
I would like to dedicate this song Graduation to all of u..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWitXo2sgJ0
I'm sorry if i've ever hurt anyone in any way..
I think,
my decision to Singapore wasn't a wrong choice,
and i never ever regretted my choice...
I've never felt contented of my life,
until i came to NYJC,
with so many wonderful people around me,
with 2 families i belonged to, (0816, NY31SC)
with so many caring friends around,
with so many soulmates..
How could i ask for more?
I'm happy with my life..
I'm gonna miss all of u..
let's be friends forever..
0816,
that will always live on..
it was just like yesterday since we met,
fated i shall say,
of so many classes with the same combination,
we r put altogether,
in this wonderful class.
No doubt,
we are just so different from one another,
put together,
and yet we clique so well,
and our character compliments one another's
It was wonderful when i speak about it,
and it is just so amazing,
how could 24 people of different character,
still manage to blend together so well..
I believe,
this bond is just wonderful..
It was Level Camp,
when i first saw all of u..
I was scared,
coz i'm a Malaysian..
I heard of outcasts,
i heard of unfriendly attitudes towards foreigners,
but it never ever happened to me..
It was tough being a facil for our own class,
it was tough not going through orientation with u guys,
i thought i have missed the chance to really know each other.
i remembered i cried during end of the session,
i remembered talking bout my scar and sacrificing for the class,
which i really meant it..
i still know each and everyone of u,
well enough...
Normal lessons started,
from J1 to J2...
It was hard to cope with our studies,
it was hard for me to really blend into our class..
I was trapped between council and squash,
and i didn't had passion towards our class..
I'm Sorry,
and now i noe,
the greatest support of going school,
is Our class,
is 0816,
is all of u,
is my new family..
Thanks to QH,
we are bonded so well..
We have different attitudes towards him,
Hatred, Pity, Fear and there weren't any good feelings bout him..
He started all himself,
even till the last day,
he was absent,
and it was the really worst thing he should do..
I would still pray for him..
that he would at least learn to socialise..
J1 was happy moments,
till PW came out,
which was madness,
and then comes Midyears,
and then Promos,
finally OP..
Promos,
was worrying,
and i really hoped,
each and everyone of us has successfully get to J2..
and my prayers were answered..
and i forgot when,
my heart was much more with our class than any one else..
Thank you my dearest class,
i find that sometimes i really neglected u..
when council was busy,
u all never gave me up,
even though i was dying,
u all supported me..
u all never really talked bad bout council,
and even suggested stuff bout council..
Fridays when we are wearing class-T,
i had to wear council-T,
Even so,
no complaints made..
I'm really thankful for all the supports u all gave..
Till i step down from council,
i realised,
My class was so so so so much more wonderful..
We clique,
but then we still interact among each other,
we tease each other,
we really still laugh at each other..
and there are down moments,
where we were really there for one another..
i regretted skipping school when i was in J1..
coz i've lost so many many chances to really spend time with u all..
Yet,
we have stayed strong till the end,
i'm really very glad that we are just so wonderful..
23 people,
1 class,
1 heart,
and that's what i love..
I really love this class...
and thanks very much for painting my JC life so wonderful..
It's so hard to really express myself,
but i really love 0816 till the max..
Let's work hard for our A Levels... =)
Ming Sze
Thanks for everything you've done for the class..
You are really a knowledgeable person,
and thanks a lot in helping in a lot of ways..
Even though we argued a lot,
yet,
it never really affect our friendship..
Those touching in lectures would be memorable to u =)
Pynx
Thanks for everything, be it council or the class..
You've always praised that i'm very gentleman,
but then,
i realise i'm not gentleman enough..
Thanks for trusting me so much,
and telling me so much things to me bout yourself..
I love ur dancing and your sensitiveness and sportiness =)
Chiam
Thanks for everything, especially those helps in events..
Those last minutes had given you so much troubles..
And i really love ur attitude when u are working for the best (The One)
B***hing in class was fun,
but i dun really get to do that with you..
Maybe some other time kk?
Jamie
You are really wonderful..
You made the effort just for the class..
The last minute photo takings,
and the photo uploads are really fast..
and i really thank you for everything..
=) i shall conform... EAT MORE kk?
Evelyn
I was amazed and shocked that PW result day..
The way u spoke to Hui Quan,
was just so shocking and so matured..
Ever since then,
I know u r really matured,
and u are really putting in a lot of effort for everything..
Especially for class activities,
you are always there..
Thanks...
Hannah
Hmm.. i love your easy-going character..
=) i love your dancing,
and i really love spending with you =)
Sorry for the lactose intolerant incident..
Thanks for the wonderful outings that we had =)
Eddie
Omg, I thank you for a lot of things..
Thanks for bringing home-cooked food,
and it really makes me feel so warm and at home in Singapore..
You showed me that people can be accomodating,
and it really touches me when i'm a foreigner..
Thanks a lot eddie for the jokes and laughter we shared,
and even physics that you taught me..
Thanks a lot
HongZuo
ever since that incident,
i know you really much more..
You are just so kind-hearted and dedicated..
It wasn't your fault,
but was her choice,
i hope u get over it..
Thanks for making my Asean Dance wonderful,
Thanks for all the silly things that made us laugh..
I'll remember..
"Why would u buy a diamond even during recession?"
"Because it's shiny"
=)
YiXuan
Thanks a lot for our PW stuff..
You are a good leader,
who is always there for each meeting,
even if u r late by a minute,
you would still contact us in advance..
I love to make u stone coz u dunno how to react,
and i love ur helpfulness..
Thanks alot for putting so much effort for the class too..
You are always there for the class..
Thanks
Rebekah
You are really prettyl.. =)
and i really like the way u match ur earring and hairband =)
and i love your sportiness especially in sports..
oh,
i love ur cool and calm reaction even though u r so nervous inside.
Haha.. =)
Thanks a lot for being so supportive..
HuiQuan
Haha.. whatever i need to tell you,
i think you already know,
i thank you for always being there for me,
so supportive and so encouraging..
You are an amazingly good listener,
that provokes everyone to speak to u..
Mama of the class,
keep it up..
Justin
"Nicely Done"
"Good Job"
and i'm gonna miss all these..
I'm gonna miss the days that you make fun of Diana and Hui Hui..
and thanks a lot,
in participating in the class events,
and representing our class in the sports games..
Thanks a lot for being there for the class..
Matthew
You are streetwise,
and u know how to behave in different situations..
Supportive for the class,
and thanks for the smses..
I love ur punctuality and always being there for our class..
YanJie
The early bird of our class..
Went through a lot of similar situations as me..
Always sensitive towards how others feel..
You always cool me down and spot for my down moments..
and provide encouragement and listening ears to me...
Thanks a lot for everything..
MingWei
Darling.. It was like so long ago since i've called u that..
We have drifted apart but i hope to keep this friendship forever..
I'm sorry for not being there when u really needed me..
and Thank you for everything,
Wonderful moments in council,
supportive to the class,
the moments we pon-ed lessons,
and the visit to ur house..
=) Thanks for always being there for me..
TeckWei
I call you Darling
I know you are one person who are so dedicated to your relationship..
You are so cool especially when u play badminton... =)
I like ur hugs and massages..
i'm gonna miss them,
and thanks a lot for those friendly hugs that made me felt warm..
Thanks for everything..
Diana
Assistant Class Rep..
Even though u r blur,
I know that u r very observant..
Very mild-tempered and patient even when people tease and make fun of you..
Thanks for cheering the class up and bringing so much laughter to the class..
Terence
Hi Then,
i love those moments DotA-ing with u..
And you are really smart =)
Thanks for teaching me stuff by provoking me to think,
and that really made me learn..
Thanks for being there for the class always..
HuiHui
I love ur voice..
You can really sing but please sing at a correct time =)
and i love speaking Jap with ya.. =) those were fun moments,
when we speak some language others dun understand..
Haha..
Thanks for being so cheerful (even though u have ur soft side)
but i am grateful for what you've done for the class,
encouraging and inspiring..
Prae
Darling~~
"I watch PORN everyday" =)
You are always so gentle and approachable..
You tried to be there for us,
even though u have something else..
Very thoughtful as u always photocopy notes for us,
Thank you very much for all the supports to the class..
ChoonLian
Brother,
I really love spending time with you..
I remembered the time we ate at Tiong Bahru,
That was the only day we had together..
haha.. sound so wrong,
but i'm grateful for u always being there for me..
Even though those teasing was just for fun,
but i hope u know the limit kk? ><
I love u still, brother =)
Kristle,
My one and only dear OG-mate..
I was glad to know that you are in my class..
The first person i know in class =)
I'm gonna miss those moments poking you,
and you make those funny sounds.. sounds wrong but we know what =) hhaha
Thanks for always being there for the class,
and putting in the effort for the class..
Zipporah
Hey Zip,
I know you through Bel..
Remember?
haha.. i love those heart to heart talk,
even though it was awkward for u,
but u still share..
I love talking to u real much,
and i really love ur frankness..
Thanks for everything,
especially you made the effort just to come to school even if you are sick..
Thanks a lot...
I would like to dedicate this song Graduation to all of u..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWitXo2sgJ0
I'm sorry if i've ever hurt anyone in any way..
I think,
my decision to Singapore wasn't a wrong choice,
and i never ever regretted my choice...
I've never felt contented of my life,
until i came to NYJC,
with so many wonderful people around me,
with 2 families i belonged to, (0816, NY31SC)
with so many caring friends around,
with so many soulmates..
How could i ask for more?
I'm happy with my life..
I'm gonna miss all of u..
let's be friends forever..
0816,
that will always live on..
Monday, October 12
Graduation...
2 years have gone by so fast..
in a blink of an eye,
it's time for the word GRADUATION..
it's never easy to come over to Singapore to study,
but i really am glad that i've made the correct choice to come over..
Not really bout the studies,
but in fact what really builds me up in my character..
I have no regret coming over even with the stress level i'm experiencing..
I proud to say,
i survived Singapore's education system..
Thinking back,
it was like just yesterday,
when everything happened..
I miss nearly everything i have gone through..
From Orientation,
Level Camp,
Council Camp,
Council Nomination,
Teacher's Day,
Council Retreat,
Class Outings,
and many other things that i've participated..
They just flashed like a movie..
Playing fastforward.
OMG,
i'm gonna miss this life,
this contented life,
that i never really ask for more,
For what i have around me is so blessed..
Buddies surround me,
Caring teachers,
Wonderful classmates,
and my new families here in school..
What more could i ask?
Nothing..
really..
Graduation,
coming so fast,
and it's indicating that im growing up,
and what's more to come,
is not really very positive,
coz we do not really noe what's gonna happen in our future.
Could time jus stop now?
i really want to keep this moment..
but i can't preserve time..
I really love this moment of my life..
Thanks to everyone that add in the smiles and laughter in my life..
Thanks to everything that's wonderful.
Thanks to each and everyone..
Thanks..
Thanks for the arrangement..
For it to come,
i will need to prepare myself..
I will definitely cry on graduation day,
I WILL...
and im crying now already..
i will really miss this moment of my life..
i'm glad it happened..
i've chosen the correct path...
in a blink of an eye,
it's time for the word GRADUATION..
it's never easy to come over to Singapore to study,
but i really am glad that i've made the correct choice to come over..
Not really bout the studies,
but in fact what really builds me up in my character..
I have no regret coming over even with the stress level i'm experiencing..
I proud to say,
i survived Singapore's education system..
Thinking back,
it was like just yesterday,
when everything happened..
I miss nearly everything i have gone through..
From Orientation,
Level Camp,
Council Camp,
Council Nomination,
Teacher's Day,
Council Retreat,
Class Outings,
and many other things that i've participated..
They just flashed like a movie..
Playing fastforward.
OMG,
i'm gonna miss this life,
this contented life,
that i never really ask for more,
For what i have around me is so blessed..
Buddies surround me,
Caring teachers,
Wonderful classmates,
and my new families here in school..
What more could i ask?
Nothing..
really..
Graduation,
coming so fast,
and it's indicating that im growing up,
and what's more to come,
is not really very positive,
coz we do not really noe what's gonna happen in our future.
Could time jus stop now?
i really want to keep this moment..
but i can't preserve time..
I really love this moment of my life..
Thanks to everyone that add in the smiles and laughter in my life..
Thanks to everything that's wonderful.
Thanks to each and everyone..
Thanks..
Thanks for the arrangement..
For it to come,
i will need to prepare myself..
I will definitely cry on graduation day,
I WILL...
and im crying now already..
i will really miss this moment of my life..
i'm glad it happened..
i've chosen the correct path...
Sunday, October 4
时光一去不复返，剩下的是你我的回忆。
我依然读了你的部落各。
那天与你插身而过，
明明就是有眼神的交叉，
但，
你显得无事，
显得很自然，
根本就没感觉。
我，
却为此事而感到尴尬。
毕竟，
我们曾经是朋友。
读了你的布罗格，
看了你与别人的比较，
我觉得，
人，
就是那么不一样，
能够相处，
能够互相接受，
才是生活里的任命。
我不会是那种你失去后会感到遗憾的朋友，
毕竟，
我与你的相识至相处，
也只有那短短的几个月。
哈！
我觉得自己很可笑。
说真的，
我真是在建筑空中之城。
很多事，
我觉得自己能够改变，
但，
自己是那么无能为力。
我真的比不上你那些莫逆之交，
也许，
距离是最好的决定。
我买了一本书。
与中五的那一本拥有着相同的目的。
眨眼间，
两年又过了。
这次，
时间过得很快，
很多事情在开始，
很多事情在发生，
很多事情在演变，
很多事情在结束。
也许这是生命的经历。
坦白说，
这两年以来，
我学了很多东西。
我了解，
一个课外活动可以成为一个家庭。
一所学校可以成为一间家。
一段感情可以是那么脆弱。
一段友情可以是永久。
一切都会改变。
是好是坏，
全都是由自己的看法来决定。
在异乡的感觉，
真是不好受。
每逢佳节倍思亲，
这一句是没错的。
感觉上，
自己也变了很多。
成熟了不少。
真的。
学会了怎么哭。
学会了怎么笑。
学会了怎么放纵。
学会了怎么打扮。
学会了怎么沟通。
学会了怎么爱护。
学会了怎么珍惜。
可能，
我的人生是注定到来新加坡。
多亏我的同班同学，
多亏我和蔼可亲的教师。
多亏我得知几们。
多亏一切鼓励我的人。
不然，
我早已崩溃。
我早已放弃。
两年，
从一个独汉。
自己挣扎，
开始新的一段路，
至一个被围伴的开心果。
想起那段路，
真是不好走。
但，
先苦后天，
我尝试到了。
我会想念着量的时光。
坎坷的人生，
挣扎的时刻，
就时间建造我的主要成份。
我爱我的人生。
我爱我拥有的这一切。
我感谢这一切的安排。
那天与你插身而过，
明明就是有眼神的交叉，
但，
你显得无事，
显得很自然，
根本就没感觉。
我，
却为此事而感到尴尬。
毕竟，
我们曾经是朋友。
读了你的布罗格，
看了你与别人的比较，
我觉得，
人，
就是那么不一样，
能够相处，
能够互相接受，
才是生活里的任命。
我不会是那种你失去后会感到遗憾的朋友，
毕竟，
我与你的相识至相处，
也只有那短短的几个月。
哈！
我觉得自己很可笑。
说真的，
我真是在建筑空中之城。
很多事，
我觉得自己能够改变，
但，
自己是那么无能为力。
我真的比不上你那些莫逆之交，
也许，
距离是最好的决定。
我买了一本书。
与中五的那一本拥有着相同的目的。
眨眼间，
两年又过了。
这次，
时间过得很快，
很多事情在开始，
很多事情在发生，
很多事情在演变，
很多事情在结束。
也许这是生命的经历。
坦白说，
这两年以来，
我学了很多东西。
我了解，
一个课外活动可以成为一个家庭。
一所学校可以成为一间家。
一段感情可以是那么脆弱。
一段友情可以是永久。
一切都会改变。
是好是坏，
全都是由自己的看法来决定。
在异乡的感觉，
真是不好受。
每逢佳节倍思亲，
这一句是没错的。
感觉上，
自己也变了很多。
成熟了不少。
真的。
学会了怎么哭。
学会了怎么笑。
学会了怎么放纵。
学会了怎么打扮。
学会了怎么沟通。
学会了怎么爱护。
学会了怎么珍惜。
可能，
我的人生是注定到来新加坡。
多亏我的同班同学，
多亏我和蔼可亲的教师。
多亏我得知几们。
多亏一切鼓励我的人。
不然，
我早已崩溃。
我早已放弃。
两年，
从一个独汉。
自己挣扎，
开始新的一段路，
至一个被围伴的开心果。
想起那段路，
真是不好走。
但，
先苦后天，
我尝试到了。
我会想念着量的时光。
坎坷的人生，
挣扎的时刻，
就时间建造我的主要成份。
我爱我的人生。
我爱我拥有的这一切。
我感谢这一切的安排。
Saturday, September 26
Fatalistic.. I shall be..
I've always trusted fate..
and i wonder why i doubt it now..
i shall continue to be fatalistic.
Everything happens for a reason,
everything happens coz it's just planned,
and, everything happens for the sake of ur life.
I wonder whether u still read my blog,
but frankly,
i still read ur blog,
and is still very often,
to check on whatever's running in ur mind.
From ur birthdate,
u wudn't give in so easily..
I noe that,
but wat again?
I still care..
Eesh..
Nah,
i can't do much,
handing everything to fate..
Please guide me..
Attended Mid Autumn Festival Celebration in hostel..
"Home" they call it,
i kinda doubt so..
coz,
there aren't ppl that really care,
They care coz they dun wan u to get problems for them
and just "care" for the sake of their rice bowl..
realistic..
yup,
that's life..
However,
that scene,
whereby they all gather together,
at the performing area,
was warm..
Different people from different countries,
different creed and beliefs,
different language,
with the common "Foreigner" labelled..
and there they go,
singing together,
cheering for one another,
wat a heart warming scene to be seen..
RJ sang Nobody..
As expected,
wonderful.
and she managed to get the crowd to shout for Encore..
and received lots of flower from people who don't really noe her..
Indeed,
that was a nice piece..
Thanks RJ..
Scheme through Facebook,
saw some photos of Sitiawan,
taken by Kaizia's fren..
It's just Lumut,
It's just so bored to go there anymore,
but from the photos,
it seems to be so beautiful.
it seems to be so natural,
so pristine..
Argh..
I read Keat's blog,
from Bukit Tinggi, Kuala Selangor,
and eventually,
home's the best..
Undeniable.
That's the fact,
there's nowhere like home..
Prelims is killing me,
i can't sleep..
Was so pissed when i jus can't get myself to sleep...
and even bothered Rud's sleep..
Arh.
Sorry buddy,
but really,
thanks for all the massage that helped to loosen me..
And now,
i'm sitting in front of the comp.
Still kinda alive,
after only 2 hrs of sleep last nite..
nah,
i'm getting weak,
and it's time,
i need to go sleep =)
By the way,
i think i've grown fatter..
yet,
got struck by the stupid stomach discomfort,
eesh,
guess i lose weight again..
nah
it's ok..
=)
arh..
that's just so much things to think of rite now,
so many things i would like to buy,
and so many things i wanna do..
ARH...
I love my life..
and i miss home..
and i wonder why i doubt it now..
i shall continue to be fatalistic.
Everything happens for a reason,
everything happens coz it's just planned,
and, everything happens for the sake of ur life.
I wonder whether u still read my blog,
but frankly,
i still read ur blog,
and is still very often,
to check on whatever's running in ur mind.
From ur birthdate,
u wudn't give in so easily..
I noe that,
but wat again?
I still care..
Eesh..
Nah,
i can't do much,
handing everything to fate..
Please guide me..
Attended Mid Autumn Festival Celebration in hostel..
"Home" they call it,
i kinda doubt so..
coz,
there aren't ppl that really care,
They care coz they dun wan u to get problems for them
and just "care" for the sake of their rice bowl..
realistic..
yup,
that's life..
However,
that scene,
whereby they all gather together,
at the performing area,
was warm..
Different people from different countries,
different creed and beliefs,
different language,
with the common "Foreigner" labelled..
and there they go,
singing together,
cheering for one another,
wat a heart warming scene to be seen..
RJ sang Nobody..
As expected,
wonderful.
and she managed to get the crowd to shout for Encore..
and received lots of flower from people who don't really noe her..
Indeed,
that was a nice piece..
Thanks RJ..
Scheme through Facebook,
saw some photos of Sitiawan,
taken by Kaizia's fren..
It's just Lumut,
It's just so bored to go there anymore,
but from the photos,
it seems to be so beautiful.
it seems to be so natural,
so pristine..
Argh..
I read Keat's blog,
from Bukit Tinggi, Kuala Selangor,
and eventually,
home's the best..
Undeniable.
That's the fact,
there's nowhere like home..
Prelims is killing me,
i can't sleep..
Was so pissed when i jus can't get myself to sleep...
and even bothered Rud's sleep..
Arh.
Sorry buddy,
but really,
thanks for all the massage that helped to loosen me..
And now,
i'm sitting in front of the comp.
Still kinda alive,
after only 2 hrs of sleep last nite..
nah,
i'm getting weak,
and it's time,
i need to go sleep =)
By the way,
i think i've grown fatter..
yet,
got struck by the stupid stomach discomfort,
eesh,
guess i lose weight again..
nah
it's ok..
=)
arh..
that's just so much things to think of rite now,
so many things i would like to buy,
and so many things i wanna do..
ARH...
I love my life..
and i miss home..
Sunday, September 20
In the Midst of Prelims
I didn't study much recently..
Nv had the mood to do so,
nv had the urge..
It's like so darn goddamn boring,
so exhausted of studying..
Partly,
i nv see myself improve at all,
but in fact,
my results are deteriorating..
It's like wat d heck,
but then again,
that's life..
I watched Zeitgeist,
wonderful movie,
that provoke so much thinking within me..
911 incident,
is it a real thing?
or it is just all planned,
to gain the trust of the citizens,
to gain the unity?
Heard of North American Union?
US no longer exist,
but in fact NAU which consist of America, Mexico and Canada..
They are planning to create just one world..
and it was kinda enriching to watch that movie,
as it's like so much analytical comments..
blah..
screw those politicians and those money-face idiots..
Subprime Mortgage Crisis happen thanks to you guys...
Nah,
after all,
i learnt this one sentence,
which is so much meaningful..
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace"
Indeed, this sentence is so darn true..
Love,
Humans are gifted with
thoughts,
feelings,
and also,
affection..
I think this world just lack of love,
what kind of love do we have to those around us?
Do we even smile to the people around us?
Do we even bother to help those in need?
Do we really feel the ache deep in our heart when we see other suffers..?
When i say all these,
i know i'm guilty myself,
i really am,
but then,
i'm trying to change..
I've promised,
to those disabled who r performing street arts like singing and playing instruments,
everytime i meet them,
i will share 50 cents with them,
i shan't use donate,
and i shan't use give,
coz i earn non of them,
but then,
i just wanna help them..
Though,
it's just 50cents,
i noe it is not much,
but then again,
i really hope that it would help them in a way or another..
And,
i think,
u can make a difference too.. =)
I'm getting things very personal,
like getting upset for some tiny mini problem..
ARH,
i'm just to overruled by my emotions..
and Prelims is overwhelming me..
x.x
By the way,
i read HK's blog,
like i miss a lot of stuff..
Firstly,
i wasn't there for u,
and,
i didn't noe u r one of my frequent blog reader..
Same goes to SJ.. =)
But then again,
i feel bad for not being able to be there for u all,
not even my voice will reach,
by the time i knew things are happening,
i'm just too late..
I think that those f-ed up feelings has mild down over time,
but then again,
i just want u to know,
friends,
are just there for u,
those close ones,
those that have been chosen to be there for u..
Don't u think everything on earth is like so well-arranged?
For whom is ur family member,
For whom is ur friend,
For whom is ur teacher,
and for whom u r going to meet..
Some relations,
they are just for ur lifetime,
and for that,
we always take things for granted,
until,
we realise what we really lose,
and who that really cares and matters..
No matter what,
Family Members are still there for u FOREVER..
really..
=)
saying that,
i'm missing my parents and korkor =)
It has been a tough time,
i'm stressed,
but then again,
i nv forget to show love to those i really love..
watch out for each other...
and make the world a better place..
Everything starts from individuals... =)
Nv had the mood to do so,
nv had the urge..
It's like so darn goddamn boring,
so exhausted of studying..
Partly,
i nv see myself improve at all,
but in fact,
my results are deteriorating..
It's like wat d heck,
but then again,
that's life..
I watched Zeitgeist,
wonderful movie,
that provoke so much thinking within me..
911 incident,
is it a real thing?
or it is just all planned,
to gain the trust of the citizens,
to gain the unity?
Heard of North American Union?
US no longer exist,
but in fact NAU which consist of America, Mexico and Canada..
They are planning to create just one world..
and it was kinda enriching to watch that movie,
as it's like so much analytical comments..
blah..
screw those politicians and those money-face idiots..
Subprime Mortgage Crisis happen thanks to you guys...
Nah,
after all,
i learnt this one sentence,
which is so much meaningful..
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace"
Indeed, this sentence is so darn true..
Love,
Humans are gifted with
thoughts,
feelings,
and also,
affection..
I think this world just lack of love,
what kind of love do we have to those around us?
Do we even smile to the people around us?
Do we even bother to help those in need?
Do we really feel the ache deep in our heart when we see other suffers..?
When i say all these,
i know i'm guilty myself,
i really am,
but then,
i'm trying to change..
I've promised,
to those disabled who r performing street arts like singing and playing instruments,
everytime i meet them,
i will share 50 cents with them,
i shan't use donate,
and i shan't use give,
coz i earn non of them,
but then,
i just wanna help them..
Though,
it's just 50cents,
i noe it is not much,
but then again,
i really hope that it would help them in a way or another..
And,
i think,
u can make a difference too.. =)
I'm getting things very personal,
like getting upset for some tiny mini problem..
ARH,
i'm just to overruled by my emotions..
and Prelims is overwhelming me..
x.x
By the way,
i read HK's blog,
like i miss a lot of stuff..
Firstly,
i wasn't there for u,
and,
i didn't noe u r one of my frequent blog reader..
Same goes to SJ.. =)
But then again,
i feel bad for not being able to be there for u all,
not even my voice will reach,
by the time i knew things are happening,
i'm just too late..
I think that those f-ed up feelings has mild down over time,
but then again,
i just want u to know,
friends,
are just there for u,
those close ones,
those that have been chosen to be there for u..
Don't u think everything on earth is like so well-arranged?
For whom is ur family member,
For whom is ur friend,
For whom is ur teacher,
and for whom u r going to meet..
Some relations,
they are just for ur lifetime,
and for that,
we always take things for granted,
until,
we realise what we really lose,
and who that really cares and matters..
No matter what,
Family Members are still there for u FOREVER..
really..
=)
saying that,
i'm missing my parents and korkor =)
It has been a tough time,
i'm stressed,
but then again,
i nv forget to show love to those i really love..
watch out for each other...
and make the world a better place..
Everything starts from individuals... =)
Tuesday, September 15
MyDeath
Mood: unexplanable...
A lot of things are running in my mind
It just struck me a lot..
It has been quite a while since i blog..
I'm afraid to blog,
i'm afraid to let people know how i feel..
it just makes me so vulnerable,
so weak in people's eyes..
Now,
i noe,
it's not the case..
I dreamt bout me dying,
in fact dead..
And,
this could be due to me always thinking bout death.
I couldn't take it last nite.
I died..
And it almost made me cry,
coz of that dream.
I was fearful,
scared,
totally.
coz i dun wanna lose my life.
I used to think that people who cried coz of dreams are just so funny,
not until i met it myself,
last nite.
It was a day in Sg,
where i was at the Singapore Custom.
and suddenly i falled,
and landed on the ground juz beside my brother's car.
i woke up ( in my dreams)
and realise it's untrue and i need to pack up to go the custom.
The same lady officer stamped my passport,
but she was like
" How come is u again?"
and she thinks i'm impersonating someone..
she asked the security to take me away for investigation,
and when i was walking away with the security,
i saw paramedic,
with a stretcher,
i saw my face on the stretcher,
with the exact same clothes i'm wearing.
that point of time,
i knew i died.
I was utterly shocked.
all i could do,
is to yell..
"That's me!!" i shouted.
The security and the lady officer realised that i'm juz the spirit,
and they were shocked out of their lives.
the thing i did next was,
i knelt down,
praying to KuanYin,
please let me live on..
Please..
and things running in my mind were
My family members,
my friends...
and the application i did in facebook that predicts i will die early..
if im not mistaken,
it's 19 yrs old..
and then,
i was awaken,
to reality,
i was lying on bed,
i was totally shocked..
and fear,
and i really wanted to cry,
and in the mean time a sigh of relieve..
and then told Rud bout everything,
and he offered me a hug and ask me to sleep..
i was scared,
really..
I never had such dreams,
such horrible ones...
I think i'm stressed,
i admit it now.
I am,
really,
i do..
I couldn't be that strong anymore,
i couldn't smile coz i'm juz too stressed like i used to be anymore.
i'm scared of everything,
and i'm juz so sorry to make my frens worried.
I am stressed,
coz of the pressure i'm giving myself.
i wanna do better in this Prelims but nothing's pushing me to work for it.
honour roll?
nah, it's a holy grail..
then again,
i dun wanna worry my parents..
in fact,
i miss home..
argh..
talked to mum,
she noes i'm stressed,
she noes..
and i really miss home..
Mum's always provide me the internal strength,
that always pull me through,
and daddy's always the one that shows care..
korkor's the one who always provoke me to think,
and all these,
made me a stronger person..
and yet,
i'm still weak inside..
It has been a while since i contacted my secondary school friends.
Even for xueyen's birthday,
i didn't call home,
partly,
i forgot,
partly,
i was working for my prelims..
Sorry yup,
and i would call u some other time k?
Chun Yen,
i miss ya~~!!
Hell lotz man..
Fred's currently in Scotland,
wish him all the best =)
Zia and Pei are still in KL,
WanXiu too,
Keat should be doing fine..
and i really hope everything's real fine for everyone..
Sudden flash of Drew,
and it just makes me ponder,
how fragile friendship could be,
juz like me and nic..
we eventually turn back to strangers..
I'm upset bout it,
coz it's such heartaching..
Saw Drew's photo in Fred's outing,
it's been a long time since i talked to him,
and yet,
our distance grew much faster than any1 could think of.
Maybe that was our mistake,
and things went this way.
It could not be helped,
but i have done my part,
it's up to u now..
Sometimes,
i feel so dumb,
for putting so much effort,
especially in those that do not even care.
But what's true,
is my frenship,
my sincere.
I never ever get close to any frens for a certain reason.
I get close to u coz i'm comfortable to u,
and i hope u r comfortable with me too..
And i parted with 2 frens just due to something very minimal.
Maybe it's just too personal for me to comment,
but if i have a chance,
i would not want to lose any of u..
That keeps reminding of life,
Fragile,
Short,
Hardships,
yet, worth living..
I never regretted upon this life,
i used to think to suicide,
now,
i would never ever harm myself.
not over some stupid things like i used to be..
Everyone's important so someone.
and that someone whom u may not noe,
would always support u,
even though he/she does not really show up in person.
I knew that long ago,
thus,
i dislike cursing,
coz some1's still worrying bout the person u r cursing,
coz he/she is still a being who deserved to be loved.
Sometimes,
it is hard to show the truth,
the show the care and concern wholeheartedly..
it's just too hard to express..
and when some1 seems important to u,
u just wanna cherish them..
By seeing them smile,
listening to their grumbles,
is much more sufficient to show that u care..
in fact,
i would still sacrifice my life for those i love..
Things have changed a lot.
and i'm hitting 20 next year.
one quarter of life is over.
Maybe more than that,
who knows how long would i live..
yet,
i just wanna cherish those i love..
Nic,
i just want to retain this frenship,
i'm sorry for everything..
please?
Drew,
sorry for whatever done,
forgive me,
please?
i'm in a mood whereby none of the song that existed could suit me.
in the midst of Prelims,
this is a really F-ed up feeling..
i can't stop myself from thinking..
i juz can't,
i can't stop myself from feeling..
and i just lost myself to this stress..
I'm coping up to it,
worry not,
i will do myself proud,
I WILL..
A lot of things are running in my mind
It just struck me a lot..
It has been quite a while since i blog..
I'm afraid to blog,
i'm afraid to let people know how i feel..
it just makes me so vulnerable,
so weak in people's eyes..
Now,
i noe,
it's not the case..
I dreamt bout me dying,
in fact dead..
And,
this could be due to me always thinking bout death.
I couldn't take it last nite.
I died..
And it almost made me cry,
coz of that dream.
I was fearful,
scared,
totally.
coz i dun wanna lose my life.
I used to think that people who cried coz of dreams are just so funny,
not until i met it myself,
last nite.
It was a day in Sg,
where i was at the Singapore Custom.
and suddenly i falled,
and landed on the ground juz beside my brother's car.
i woke up ( in my dreams)
and realise it's untrue and i need to pack up to go the custom.
The same lady officer stamped my passport,
but she was like
" How come is u again?"
and she thinks i'm impersonating someone..
she asked the security to take me away for investigation,
and when i was walking away with the security,
i saw paramedic,
with a stretcher,
i saw my face on the stretcher,
with the exact same clothes i'm wearing.
that point of time,
i knew i died.
I was utterly shocked.
all i could do,
is to yell..
"That's me!!" i shouted.
The security and the lady officer realised that i'm juz the spirit,
and they were shocked out of their lives.
the thing i did next was,
i knelt down,
praying to KuanYin,
please let me live on..
Please..
and things running in my mind were
My family members,
my friends...
and the application i did in facebook that predicts i will die early..
if im not mistaken,
it's 19 yrs old..
and then,
i was awaken,
to reality,
i was lying on bed,
i was totally shocked..
and fear,
and i really wanted to cry,
and in the mean time a sigh of relieve..
and then told Rud bout everything,
and he offered me a hug and ask me to sleep..
i was scared,
really..
I never had such dreams,
such horrible ones...
I think i'm stressed,
i admit it now.
I am,
really,
i do..
I couldn't be that strong anymore,
i couldn't smile coz i'm juz too stressed like i used to be anymore.
i'm scared of everything,
and i'm juz so sorry to make my frens worried.
I am stressed,
coz of the pressure i'm giving myself.
i wanna do better in this Prelims but nothing's pushing me to work for it.
honour roll?
nah, it's a holy grail..
then again,
i dun wanna worry my parents..
in fact,
i miss home..
argh..
talked to mum,
she noes i'm stressed,
she noes..
and i really miss home..
Mum's always provide me the internal strength,
that always pull me through,
and daddy's always the one that shows care..
korkor's the one who always provoke me to think,
and all these,
made me a stronger person..
and yet,
i'm still weak inside..
It has been a while since i contacted my secondary school friends.
Even for xueyen's birthday,
i didn't call home,
partly,
i forgot,
partly,
i was working for my prelims..
Sorry yup,
and i would call u some other time k?
Chun Yen,
i miss ya~~!!
Hell lotz man..
Fred's currently in Scotland,
wish him all the best =)
Zia and Pei are still in KL,
WanXiu too,
Keat should be doing fine..
and i really hope everything's real fine for everyone..
Sudden flash of Drew,
and it just makes me ponder,
how fragile friendship could be,
juz like me and nic..
we eventually turn back to strangers..
I'm upset bout it,
coz it's such heartaching..
Saw Drew's photo in Fred's outing,
it's been a long time since i talked to him,
and yet,
our distance grew much faster than any1 could think of.
Maybe that was our mistake,
and things went this way.
It could not be helped,
but i have done my part,
it's up to u now..
Sometimes,
i feel so dumb,
for putting so much effort,
especially in those that do not even care.
But what's true,
is my frenship,
my sincere.
I never ever get close to any frens for a certain reason.
I get close to u coz i'm comfortable to u,
and i hope u r comfortable with me too..
And i parted with 2 frens just due to something very minimal.
Maybe it's just too personal for me to comment,
but if i have a chance,
i would not want to lose any of u..
That keeps reminding of life,
Fragile,
Short,
Hardships,
yet, worth living..
I never regretted upon this life,
i used to think to suicide,
now,
i would never ever harm myself.
not over some stupid things like i used to be..
Everyone's important so someone.
and that someone whom u may not noe,
would always support u,
even though he/she does not really show up in person.
I knew that long ago,
thus,
i dislike cursing,
coz some1's still worrying bout the person u r cursing,
coz he/she is still a being who deserved to be loved.
Sometimes,
it is hard to show the truth,
the show the care and concern wholeheartedly..
it's just too hard to express..
and when some1 seems important to u,
u just wanna cherish them..
By seeing them smile,
listening to their grumbles,
is much more sufficient to show that u care..
in fact,
i would still sacrifice my life for those i love..
Things have changed a lot.
and i'm hitting 20 next year.
one quarter of life is over.
Maybe more than that,
who knows how long would i live..
yet,
i just wanna cherish those i love..
Nic,
i just want to retain this frenship,
i'm sorry for everything..
please?
Drew,
sorry for whatever done,
forgive me,
please?
i'm in a mood whereby none of the song that existed could suit me.
in the midst of Prelims,
this is a really F-ed up feeling..
i can't stop myself from thinking..
i juz can't,
i can't stop myself from feeling..
and i just lost myself to this stress..
I'm coping up to it,
worry not,
i will do myself proud,
I WILL..
Wednesday, September 2
Long Time Since I Blogged
I should get my ass started,
to really study,
i'm scared..
of Prelims,
usually,
by Prelims,
i'm all prepared,
now,
i'm not,
n i will never be prepared..
Sometimes,
we just care too much,
but in fact,
that's what we want,
coz those mean a lot to us,
that's why we care..
Sometimes,
it's just heartaching,
to really see a frenship goes on,
snapping off,
and felt so helpless bout it..
Yup,
i've been reading ur blog,
i wonder,
do u read mine?
That time,
u turn away with that kind of stare,
i was wondering,
what could have possibly made us arrive this situation..
It was merely a small situation,
and ok,
u may feel that WE have insulted u,
BUT,
i dunno la..
i shdn't say im innocent,
im just guilty being in that group..
Happy?
Eesh
sometimes,
i still feel that in my class is much better,
no politics,
nothing much..
just a bit of bullshit here and there,
some ppl that would tease ppl,
but cannot be joked around..
EEsh..
Sometimes,
IF U FREAKING WANNA PLAY,
MAKE SURE IT'S 2-SIDED...
Argh..
why's so much things happening and irritating..
ARGH!!
x.x
Quan,
Jiayou,
at times,
we seek attention,
we thought we were close to someone which in fact we r not,
that's wat he(M) feels..
I think..
Just bear with it,
maybe somethings are better left unknown..
i miss home...
Btw,
heard that this fren of mine passed away,
due to accident,
0330hrs,
310809..
arh..
how fragile life can be..
Cherish..
CHERISH that's all i'm telling myself..
and i'm trying to..
yet,
taking things for granted has always come back to visit me..
I love my life,
i really do,
i love everyone that came across my life..
I love everything..
Ze Qin...
Though i dun really noe u..
At least,
we used to talk,
to joke around,
to greet each other..
Please,
RIP...
3 person i noe has gone just in this year..
how many more will come?
May blessings protect every single one i love..
Please,
i dun wanna lose any1 of u...
not now..
really...
Nic,
i still cherish u as my fren..
i'm still waiting for the time to talk to u..
to really study,
i'm scared..
of Prelims,
usually,
by Prelims,
i'm all prepared,
now,
i'm not,
n i will never be prepared..
Sometimes,
we just care too much,
but in fact,
that's what we want,
coz those mean a lot to us,
that's why we care..
Sometimes,
it's just heartaching,
to really see a frenship goes on,
snapping off,
and felt so helpless bout it..
Yup,
i've been reading ur blog,
i wonder,
do u read mine?
That time,
u turn away with that kind of stare,
i was wondering,
what could have possibly made us arrive this situation..
It was merely a small situation,
and ok,
u may feel that WE have insulted u,
BUT,
i dunno la..
i shdn't say im innocent,
im just guilty being in that group..
Happy?
Eesh
sometimes,
i still feel that in my class is much better,
no politics,
nothing much..
just a bit of bullshit here and there,
some ppl that would tease ppl,
but cannot be joked around..
EEsh..
Sometimes,
IF U FREAKING WANNA PLAY,
MAKE SURE IT'S 2-SIDED...
Argh..
why's so much things happening and irritating..
ARGH!!
x.x
Quan,
Jiayou,
at times,
we seek attention,
we thought we were close to someone which in fact we r not,
that's wat he(M) feels..
I think..
Just bear with it,
maybe somethings are better left unknown..
i miss home...
Btw,
heard that this fren of mine passed away,
due to accident,
0330hrs,
310809..
arh..
how fragile life can be..
Cherish..
CHERISH that's all i'm telling myself..
and i'm trying to..
yet,
taking things for granted has always come back to visit me..
I love my life,
i really do,
i love everyone that came across my life..
I love everything..
Ze Qin...
Though i dun really noe u..
At least,
we used to talk,
to joke around,
to greet each other..
Please,
RIP...
3 person i noe has gone just in this year..
how many more will come?
May blessings protect every single one i love..
Please,
i dun wanna lose any1 of u...
not now..
really...
Nic,
i still cherish u as my fren..
i'm still waiting for the time to talk to u..
Wednesday, August 26
Gomenasai, Shinyou
I'm sorry..
This freaking mood is killing me..
I wonder what's gonna happen to me,
and i really hope,
i can get a day of rest or 2..
Argh,
i'm kinda pissed at myself,
being so stupid,
being so playful,
being so idiotic..
ARGH..
nah,
i'm so sorry..
whatever u needed to give me,
u have already given..
it's not tat it didn't help,
it did,
and all i wanted just now is to calm down,
to really cry it out,
but tears are not listening to me..
i couldn't..
everything that has embedded deep inside my heart,
is aching ,
is making me uncomfortable,
and is making me mad..
How i wish i'm sick now,
for a few days i'm able to rest..
But,
i'm just too strong..
argh..
Not a good thing to have strong immune system.. x.x
i shd be grateful for not falling sick ill,
for having the heart whereby telling lies will make me uncomfortable..
If not,
i would have been like my roommate,
pon-ing every session of remedial and stuff..
i want to stay on,
but i feel that im just too weak..
i am really very helpless..
i am very selfish..
I'm sorry.....
Sorry, Quan..
hope u r better,
even though u r not feeling well,
u r still there for me..
sorry..
actually,
i was appearing offline,
i dun feel like chatting,
i dun feel like doing anything..
and,
i really dun wanna disturb u,
that's all my intention was..
mayb i shdn't online from the start,
and wouldn't have let u noe bout my stress..
yup,
i realise i'm not kinda ok already..
i wanted a trip to east coast park,
it was essential actually,
but in the end no one wanna go with me..
i need to let go all of them,
back to the ocean,
that devour every single worries..
even though it's momentarily,
it does help in clearing my mind..
i miss the sea..
I'm so sorry,
for being so selfish,
i thought,
not to throw out everything on u would make u better,
but i was wrong,
it affected u even more..
sorry..
argh..
I'm in a F-ing idiotic mood..
i hope i'm sick tml,
really,
pls give me a break..
i'm so darn tired,
exhausted with my life..
sorry to say,
im suffering..
save me...
This freaking mood is killing me..
I wonder what's gonna happen to me,
and i really hope,
i can get a day of rest or 2..
Argh,
i'm kinda pissed at myself,
being so stupid,
being so playful,
being so idiotic..
ARGH..
nah,
i'm so sorry..
whatever u needed to give me,
u have already given..
it's not tat it didn't help,
it did,
and all i wanted just now is to calm down,
to really cry it out,
but tears are not listening to me..
i couldn't..
everything that has embedded deep inside my heart,
is aching ,
is making me uncomfortable,
and is making me mad..
How i wish i'm sick now,
for a few days i'm able to rest..
But,
i'm just too strong..
argh..
Not a good thing to have strong immune system.. x.x
i shd be grateful for not falling sick ill,
for having the heart whereby telling lies will make me uncomfortable..
If not,
i would have been like my roommate,
pon-ing every session of remedial and stuff..
i want to stay on,
but i feel that im just too weak..
i am really very helpless..
i am very selfish..
I'm sorry.....
Sorry, Quan..
hope u r better,
even though u r not feeling well,
u r still there for me..
sorry..
actually,
i was appearing offline,
i dun feel like chatting,
i dun feel like doing anything..
and,
i really dun wanna disturb u,
that's all my intention was..
mayb i shdn't online from the start,
and wouldn't have let u noe bout my stress..
yup,
i realise i'm not kinda ok already..
i wanted a trip to east coast park,
it was essential actually,
but in the end no one wanna go with me..
i need to let go all of them,
back to the ocean,
that devour every single worries..
even though it's momentarily,
it does help in clearing my mind..
i miss the sea..
I'm so sorry,
for being so selfish,
i thought,
not to throw out everything on u would make u better,
but i was wrong,
it affected u even more..
sorry..
argh..
I'm in a F-ing idiotic mood..
i hope i'm sick tml,
really,
pls give me a break..
i'm so darn tired,
exhausted with my life..
sorry to say,
im suffering..
save me...
Tuesday, August 25
Stress..
I think i finally realise what is stress..
i dun feel like doing anything,
i dun feel like eating or drinking,
i dun feel like chatting,
i dun feel good in anyway,
i feel like crying,
i feel like going home,
i feel like dying...
i feel like killing myself,
i dun feel like doing anything,
i dun feel like eating or drinking,
i dun feel like chatting,
i dun feel good in anyway,
i feel like crying,
i feel like going home,
i feel like dying...
i feel like killing myself,
Monday, August 24
Thoughts..
Mood: Guilty, Astonished..
Do u know:
1) A lot of people have been doing stuff for u..
and you do not notice it some times..
2) There's always someone who thinks of you once in a while..
3) You are meaningful to someone on this earth..
4) There are a lot of things happening around you..
5) Taking things for granted will left u being unappreciative..
6) When you misses someone, someone's missing you even worse..
7) Letting yourself relax, is one great thing..
8) Resting is to let you pursue ur journey..
9) Being loved is so so so so god damn blissful...
10) Knowing ur weaknesses, yet, it's hard to change..
I'm guilty of the almost every one..
A lot of times,
a lot of people have been doing stuff for me..
I know,
and some,
i don't know..
and i really wanna say thanks to those who have done so much for me..
sometimes,
even i noe,
i take things for granted..
i nv really acknowledge it..
i'm so sorry..
i would like to say thanks,
for everything you would have done for me..
even the thought counts..
thanks..
Sometimes,
i think a lot..
Indeed..
and,
i realise who thinks bout me more,
it's my parents..
they miss my voice,
they miss my laughter..
they miss me..
and i was thinking a lot of personal things..
a lot of funny things,
and yet,
those who really think of me,
are at home..
and i hold their hopes..
i shall soar high,
and,
reach out for what i believe is mine...
There are times i really dunno what to do,
or the most suitable word should be,
Mood Swing...
What d heck..
Aihz,
really..
suddenly,
i lost my mood for blogging..
x.x
argh..
i dreamt bout u,
talking to me,
explaining to me,
and yup,
everything went well..
it's that an indication of the turn over of everything?
or it'll just be what it is..
die off eventually?
i've done my part,
and if u heck care,
y do i need to waste my effort?
hope u won't forget that promise we had,
and it's so goddamn awkward,
to really see u,
and being ignore when i wave to u..
Do u know:
1) A lot of people have been doing stuff for u..
and you do not notice it some times..
2) There's always someone who thinks of you once in a while..
3) You are meaningful to someone on this earth..
4) There are a lot of things happening around you..
5) Taking things for granted will left u being unappreciative..
6) When you misses someone, someone's missing you even worse..
7) Letting yourself relax, is one great thing..
8) Resting is to let you pursue ur journey..
9) Being loved is so so so so god damn blissful...
10) Knowing ur weaknesses, yet, it's hard to change..
I'm guilty of the almost every one..
A lot of times,
a lot of people have been doing stuff for me..
I know,
and some,
i don't know..
and i really wanna say thanks to those who have done so much for me..
sometimes,
even i noe,
i take things for granted..
i nv really acknowledge it..
i'm so sorry..
i would like to say thanks,
for everything you would have done for me..
even the thought counts..
thanks..
Sometimes,
i think a lot..
Indeed..
and,
i realise who thinks bout me more,
it's my parents..
they miss my voice,
they miss my laughter..
they miss me..
and i was thinking a lot of personal things..
a lot of funny things,
and yet,
those who really think of me,
are at home..
and i hold their hopes..
i shall soar high,
and,
reach out for what i believe is mine...
There are times i really dunno what to do,
or the most suitable word should be,
Mood Swing...
What d heck..
Aihz,
really..
suddenly,
i lost my mood for blogging..
x.x
argh..
i dreamt bout u,
talking to me,
explaining to me,
and yup,
everything went well..
it's that an indication of the turn over of everything?
or it'll just be what it is..
die off eventually?
i've done my part,
and if u heck care,
y do i need to waste my effort?
hope u won't forget that promise we had,
and it's so goddamn awkward,
to really see u,
and being ignore when i wave to u..
Thursday, August 20
Gomenasai..
Mood: Helpless
I'm so sorry..
i can't do much for u..
Though,
we are not that kind of soulmates,
at least,
we are close frens,
basically every1 in our class,
it's like my family members,
and exceptions i think i would not need to say =)..
anyway,
i'm very sorry..
really,
i can't do much,
i just feel that i'm weak,
and i really can't help u..
all i can do,
is just pat u on ur back,
ask u to buff up,
to take it easy.
i even turn the deaf ear to u,
the other day..
i'm so sorry..
i was very disappointed,
and i was very troubled,
when both of u r important to me..
and i'm really very sorry for unable to do anything..
I'm just so powerless,
just so weak,
just nothing..
I saw ur facial expression today,
it's a freaking mixed up feelings,
but all negative ones..
disappointment,
frustration,
anger,
jealousy,
helplessness..
teary eyes u have,
nv noe u have ur weak side,
that jovial u,
that optimistic u,
that confident u..
maybe,
behind every clown that's this part where no one will understand..
i'm so helpless,
i can't even give u a buddy hug,
and i really dunno how to help u,
lost,
i am,
but u r worse..
argh..
i'm so sorry for being so helpless,
so weak..
I tot she's easy,
but in fact she's not,
i've always heard a lot of ur side,
and i though i was biased,
but now,
i think,
it's clearly seen,
and shown,
that everything,
it's just wat we are watching,
maybe there's something behind it,
maybe,
there is,
but i believe,
it would be a great lie..
i'm so sorry..
i would do my best to help u,
this time,
to get u out,
but please let me help u..
dun get shackled on to this for too long,
u r having ur A's man!!
argh..
i'm so sorry..
I know a lot was happening,
I know u were approaching me,
I know everything,
and i was over confident to say that i may persuade her,
i'm sorry,
for giving u that false hope..
for really troubled u..
I was too troubled by those stuff,
and i chose not to bother,
but in the end,
i can take it to see u suffer anymore,
Cheer up dude,
and please,
LET IT GO..
please..
I'm sorry for having the impression that u r a playboy..
i nv though u were this resilience,
and u were so thoughtful,
it's just u had some playful side of u,
but u are romantic and creative..
really,
it was wonderful,
to really get noe of you..
You've changed a lot,
really,
to really sacrifice with no any grudge..
to do wat she likes..
which i really respect u..
Sorry,
and i will do my best from today onwards..
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry..
i can't do much for u..
Though,
we are not that kind of soulmates,
at least,
we are close frens,
basically every1 in our class,
it's like my family members,
and exceptions i think i would not need to say =)..
anyway,
i'm very sorry..
really,
i can't do much,
i just feel that i'm weak,
and i really can't help u..
all i can do,
is just pat u on ur back,
ask u to buff up,
to take it easy.
i even turn the deaf ear to u,
the other day..
i'm so sorry..
i was very disappointed,
and i was very troubled,
when both of u r important to me..
and i'm really very sorry for unable to do anything..
I'm just so powerless,
just so weak,
just nothing..
I saw ur facial expression today,
it's a freaking mixed up feelings,
but all negative ones..
disappointment,
frustration,
anger,
jealousy,
helplessness..
teary eyes u have,
nv noe u have ur weak side,
that jovial u,
that optimistic u,
that confident u..
maybe,
behind every clown that's this part where no one will understand..
i'm so helpless,
i can't even give u a buddy hug,
and i really dunno how to help u,
lost,
i am,
but u r worse..
argh..
i'm so sorry for being so helpless,
so weak..
I tot she's easy,
but in fact she's not,
i've always heard a lot of ur side,
and i though i was biased,
but now,
i think,
it's clearly seen,
and shown,
that everything,
it's just wat we are watching,
maybe there's something behind it,
maybe,
there is,
but i believe,
it would be a great lie..
i'm so sorry..
i would do my best to help u,
this time,
to get u out,
but please let me help u..
dun get shackled on to this for too long,
u r having ur A's man!!
argh..
i'm so sorry..
I know a lot was happening,
I know u were approaching me,
I know everything,
and i was over confident to say that i may persuade her,
i'm sorry,
for giving u that false hope..
for really troubled u..
I was too troubled by those stuff,
and i chose not to bother,
but in the end,
i can take it to see u suffer anymore,
Cheer up dude,
and please,
LET IT GO..
please..
I'm sorry for having the impression that u r a playboy..
i nv though u were this resilience,
and u were so thoughtful,
it's just u had some playful side of u,
but u are romantic and creative..
really,
it was wonderful,
to really get noe of you..
You've changed a lot,
really,
to really sacrifice with no any grudge..
to do wat she likes..
which i really respect u..
Sorry,
and i will do my best from today onwards..
I'm sorry...
Wednesday, August 19
Blood Donation..
Actually i'm very afraid of blood donation,
it has always been a scary thing to me,
and generally to msians..
LOL..
hmm..
but this time,
i broke out of my comfort zone,
and i will donate even more blood..
It has been a wrong impression for blood donations..
maybe,
we dun get to experience it,
we dun even get to see what's happening in it,
and,
we always have the impression that,
it's like some vampire sucking out ur blood,
and it will hurt like no one's business..
and,
it's just so weakening after that,
that u can't do anything,
and u may end up lack of blood and those funny stuff..
Today,
many first-timer,
and i'm one of them,
i've always wanted to donate,
but i fear that needle..
not that blood..
=)
anyway,
i managed,
it was no kick
LOL..
nah,
just normal needle "bites"
that's all,
and i donated 450ml..
OMG,
i'm kinda addicted,
i wanna donate again =)
LOL...
anyway,
one thing very pleasant to hear from Brother,
"wah, i feel good today,
maybe, i did something good today"
FYI he donated blood also,
i think i felt that way too =)
and it was awesome=)
I dun mind keeping this donation regular,
coz if my blood can save someone's life,
why not?
After all,
Love's what we need in this world,
spread the love around..
by smile,
by blood donation,
by touch of hearts... =)
it has always been a scary thing to me,
and generally to msians..
LOL..
hmm..
but this time,
i broke out of my comfort zone,
and i will donate even more blood..
It has been a wrong impression for blood donations..
maybe,
we dun get to experience it,
we dun even get to see what's happening in it,
and,
we always have the impression that,
it's like some vampire sucking out ur blood,
and it will hurt like no one's business..
and,
it's just so weakening after that,
that u can't do anything,
and u may end up lack of blood and those funny stuff..
Today,
many first-timer,
and i'm one of them,
i've always wanted to donate,
but i fear that needle..
not that blood..
=)
anyway,
i managed,
it was no kick
LOL..
nah,
just normal needle "bites"
that's all,
and i donated 450ml..
OMG,
i'm kinda addicted,
i wanna donate again =)
LOL...
anyway,
one thing very pleasant to hear from Brother,
"wah, i feel good today,
maybe, i did something good today"
FYI he donated blood also,
i think i felt that way too =)
and it was awesome=)
I dun mind keeping this donation regular,
coz if my blood can save someone's life,
why not?
After all,
Love's what we need in this world,
spread the love around..
by smile,
by blood donation,
by touch of hearts... =)
Tuesday, August 18
第100
情绪：不稳，无奈，无助。
原本想写些开心的事，
可是，
到尾，
还是抵挡不到这可恶的心情。
很多时候，
我恨自己，
为何那么没用，
为何那么不上进。
唉，
可能这就是我吧！
很多时候，
是自讨苦吃。
把自己弄得那么脆弱，
何以把自己的心窍得那么大。
好容易被伤害。
今天，
我已试着，
压抑着自己的心情，
但，
它，
那不速之客，
依然到访。
今天所写的，
也没有头绪，
也不知自己在想什么。
我，
今天放了两次飞机。
早上，
夜晚。
抱歉，
我今天，
心情还真差，
我试着掩饰，
可能你早已看透，
只不过，
撑强的我不要你担心，
有个人关心，
真是幸福。
但，
这一份关心，
我又不可以辜负。
抱歉。
我今天很自私，
玩着电游，
来舒解自己的压力，
却不陪陪你。
这种时间，
我知道你需要我的陪伴，
但我却无能为力。
抱歉。
不容易。
做人真不容易。
很多东西，
尽了力，
结果还是一样，
是我不对吗？
也许，
我尽的也不是那区区的力，
跟人家比起来，
算得了什么？
但，
我已经尽力了。
抱歉，
我依然做得不好。
我开始了解朋友的心事，
辜负家人的心酸。
不好受。
听着以前喜欢的歌，
发觉自己变了不少。
是好是坏，
全都有外人判断。
自己还蛮喜欢现在的自己。
压力，
把我娘造成更吃得苦的人。
与朋友交谈，
发现很多自己以前的固执。
自卫很强，
不想被任何人伤害。
也许，
放下了这个盾，
自己受了不少暗箭，
更受了不少的指责。
然而，
我却迎来了不少知己。
这可能是唯一让我这样下去的理由。
现在，
我很想做些傻事，
不是自残或自毁，
而是一些能够让我防总的活动！
我爱沙滩，
我爱骑脚车，
我爱听海。
我想念以前自由的生活，
我怀念以前的复出，
更怀念在家里的每一刻。
可能，
就要在这种的情况下，
人才会学习。
不知天高地厚的小子，
从乡下来到城市，
也可真学了不少。
好多东西都学会了珍惜。
好多东西都学会了摆平，
更会在公众表现得恰当。
了解了人间的情，
更看透了不少的心，
一些无事不登三宝殿的。
一些却无怨无悔的付出。
我了解，
没有付出，
何来的成果？
有些时候，
我学会了放下，
之后，
才会得到别的东西，
说我贪新忘旧也好，
说我现实也好。
但，
我学会了接收属于自己的，
和排斥自己的。
不知怎的，
今晚的夜晚特别庵。
月亮晓得我的心情吗？
也许吧。
我想念，
好多东西，
数来数去，
还是那几样。
海，
实兆远，
朋友，
姑婆，
家庭，
家。
情绪不稳定，
我不知该做些什么。
我要加倍努力，
名列前茅为我的目标。
我必快马加鞭。
啊，
好难受。
我，
好脆弱。
我，
好无奈。
我，
好无能为力。
今晚，
月亮又再次啃噬了我的岁月。
我，
成不了业。
我，
无可奈何。
心情，
我也该学会怎么选择。
远走高飞吧， 无奈！
兴高采烈，回到我的怀抱吧！
原本想写些开心的事，
可是，
到尾，
还是抵挡不到这可恶的心情。
很多时候，
我恨自己，
为何那么没用，
为何那么不上进。
唉，
可能这就是我吧！
很多时候，
是自讨苦吃。
把自己弄得那么脆弱，
何以把自己的心窍得那么大。
好容易被伤害。
今天，
我已试着，
压抑着自己的心情，
但，
它，
那不速之客，
依然到访。
今天所写的，
也没有头绪，
也不知自己在想什么。
我，
今天放了两次飞机。
早上，
夜晚。
抱歉，
我今天，
心情还真差，
我试着掩饰，
可能你早已看透，
只不过，
撑强的我不要你担心，
有个人关心，
真是幸福。
但，
这一份关心，
我又不可以辜负。
抱歉。
我今天很自私，
玩着电游，
来舒解自己的压力，
却不陪陪你。
这种时间，
我知道你需要我的陪伴，
但我却无能为力。
抱歉。
不容易。
做人真不容易。
很多东西，
尽了力，
结果还是一样，
是我不对吗？
也许，
我尽的也不是那区区的力，
跟人家比起来，
算得了什么？
但，
我已经尽力了。
抱歉，
我依然做得不好。
我开始了解朋友的心事，
辜负家人的心酸。
不好受。
听着以前喜欢的歌，
发觉自己变了不少。
是好是坏，
全都有外人判断。
自己还蛮喜欢现在的自己。
压力，
把我娘造成更吃得苦的人。
与朋友交谈，
发现很多自己以前的固执。
自卫很强，
不想被任何人伤害。
也许，
放下了这个盾，
自己受了不少暗箭，
更受了不少的指责。
然而，
我却迎来了不少知己。
这可能是唯一让我这样下去的理由。
现在，
我很想做些傻事，
不是自残或自毁，
而是一些能够让我防总的活动！
我爱沙滩，
我爱骑脚车，
我爱听海。
我想念以前自由的生活，
我怀念以前的复出，
更怀念在家里的每一刻。
可能，
就要在这种的情况下，
人才会学习。
不知天高地厚的小子，
从乡下来到城市，
也可真学了不少。
好多东西都学会了珍惜。
好多东西都学会了摆平，
更会在公众表现得恰当。
了解了人间的情，
更看透了不少的心，
一些无事不登三宝殿的。
一些却无怨无悔的付出。
我了解，
没有付出，
何来的成果？
有些时候，
我学会了放下，
之后，
才会得到别的东西，
说我贪新忘旧也好，
说我现实也好。
但，
我学会了接收属于自己的，
和排斥自己的。
不知怎的，
今晚的夜晚特别庵。
月亮晓得我的心情吗？
也许吧。
我想念，
好多东西，
数来数去，
还是那几样。
海，
实兆远，
朋友，
姑婆，
家庭，
家。
情绪不稳定，
我不知该做些什么。
我要加倍努力，
名列前茅为我的目标。
我必快马加鞭。
啊，
好难受。
我，
好脆弱。
我，
好无奈。
我，
好无能为力。
今晚，
月亮又再次啃噬了我的岁月。
我，
成不了业。
我，
无可奈何。
心情，
我也该学会怎么选择。
远走高飞吧， 无奈！
兴高采烈，回到我的怀抱吧！
Monday, August 17
99th post.. Happy Birthday Kaizia =)
Hmm.
Today's the 99th post,
=)
happy birthday Kaizia..
aka gokiburi-chan =)
LOL,
omg i miss those times talking to u man!!
=)
erm,
and of coz,
those sweet moments we had during our sec 3 life =)
yup,
u are one of the best leader i've ever met,
and u are the one who always tries to patch things up,
trying to do the best that u can for each and everyone of us,
and today's ur big day!!
Happy Birthday Kaizia!
=)
Hmm..
u always dun feel awkward with me,
even though after that incident,
and even after then,
we are best friends,
and we could even go shopping with u hooking over my arm,
treating me just like the guy supposedly to be ur boyfren..
i'm perfectly fine with that,
and i'm amused by this closeness we had..
we talked rubbish,
talked cock,
bullshit,
curse and swear,
bout Youth Exchange,
bout japan,
bout all those funny stuff..
argh,
i really miss those moments,
going Thurs Market,
going Tuition together and lots of other stuff,
i just miss those moments =)
Right Now,
i just hope tat,
u would find a better bf =)
and,
u would take care,
hope everything's fine for u,
all the best for u,
sorry for the absence of present,
but my heart and prayers will always be there for u!!
Once again,
Happy Birthday
Kaizia,
my ex,
my buddy,
my soulmate =)
Today's the 99th post,
=)
happy birthday Kaizia..
aka gokiburi-chan =)
LOL,
omg i miss those times talking to u man!!
=)
erm,
and of coz,
those sweet moments we had during our sec 3 life =)
yup,
u are one of the best leader i've ever met,
and u are the one who always tries to patch things up,
trying to do the best that u can for each and everyone of us,
and today's ur big day!!
Happy Birthday Kaizia!
=)
Hmm..
u always dun feel awkward with me,
even though after that incident,
and even after then,
we are best friends,
and we could even go shopping with u hooking over my arm,
treating me just like the guy supposedly to be ur boyfren..
i'm perfectly fine with that,
and i'm amused by this closeness we had..
we talked rubbish,
talked cock,
bullshit,
curse and swear,
bout Youth Exchange,
bout japan,
bout all those funny stuff..
argh,
i really miss those moments,
going Thurs Market,
going Tuition together and lots of other stuff,
i just miss those moments =)
Right Now,
i just hope tat,
u would find a better bf =)
and,
u would take care,
hope everything's fine for u,
all the best for u,
sorry for the absence of present,
but my heart and prayers will always be there for u!!
Once again,
Happy Birthday
Kaizia,
my ex,
my buddy,
my soulmate =)
Sunday, August 16
Happy Birthday Zhi Han
Mood: Gratitute, Missing something, Cherishing..
Happy Birthday Zhi Han!!
=)
hmm..
i can't remember since when we talked..
=)
but then again,
happy birthday,
and enjoy ur birthday!!
Love u lotz.. =)
Suddenly,
i heard that Zhu Lao Shi from Chong Cheng Primary School has passed away,
due to accident,
2 weeks ago..
omg,
it's so heart-aching,
even though she's not close to me,
even though she never really taught me,
then again,
it's still,
heart aching..
to hear that..
Rest in Peace..
T.T
Suddenly,
i misses all my secondary school friend..
Life is getting more realistic,
more and more harsh things happening,
more and more unpleasant things are going on,
and,
it's not like last time,
we sit don't and talk,
and stomped out after that,
and then still gets angry.
Last time,
i'm the one who's always so pissed off,
so irritated,
due to me being over sensitive..
i noe,
but now,
i'm still over sensitive,
but i noe what's to me to bother,
and what's for me not to..
sometimes,
some things are not within our control,
and if that's the case,
let it be,
it would be destined to be what it want to be,
however,
if i could try to change the entire ending of the episode,
i would do so..
=)
I looked through the photos i've taken with all of u last time,
during my secondary school days,
in school,
during Leo Investiture,
during Leo programmes,
during the trips,
and during the moments we took..
OMG,
it's so damn beautiful,
those sincere smile,
those wonderful moments,
i just dunno how to describe any further..
Here in Sg,
i always envy them,
having secondary school class outing,
Orientation group outing,
secondary school CCA outing..
and so forth..
ya,
it's so easy to get in touch in singapore,
it's so small,
and everyone just need to put a bit effort to really come out,
spend some time,
and it's just so fun..
i'm kinda sad,
coz i'm so far apart from u all,
even for any outing,
i wouldn't be able to make it..
and,
i miss all of u..
i really do..
everytime i heard of outings for secondary school,
it just flashes those faces..
i really miss those times,
our outing are so cheapo..
like go out eat Roti Canai,
not even a proper McDonald's meal,
which is so goddamn expensive to us that time
=)
those chats by the beach..
heart to heart talks,
trash out moments,
emo-ing by the beach and stuff..
of coz,
the moments during graduation ceremony,
camps,
in class,
Leo programmes..
and Trips..
those are the wonderful memories.
Thank you my secondary school friends..
i'm really grateful to have all of u..
miss all of u,
and remember to take care + keep in touch..
coz life's unpredictable....
Happy Birthday Zhi Han!!
=)
hmm..
i can't remember since when we talked..
=)
but then again,
happy birthday,
and enjoy ur birthday!!
Love u lotz.. =)
Suddenly,
i heard that Zhu Lao Shi from Chong Cheng Primary School has passed away,
due to accident,
2 weeks ago..
omg,
it's so heart-aching,
even though she's not close to me,
even though she never really taught me,
then again,
it's still,
heart aching..
to hear that..
Rest in Peace..
T.T
Suddenly,
i misses all my secondary school friend..
Life is getting more realistic,
more and more harsh things happening,
more and more unpleasant things are going on,
and,
it's not like last time,
we sit don't and talk,
and stomped out after that,
and then still gets angry.
Last time,
i'm the one who's always so pissed off,
so irritated,
due to me being over sensitive..
i noe,
but now,
i'm still over sensitive,
but i noe what's to me to bother,
and what's for me not to..
sometimes,
some things are not within our control,
and if that's the case,
let it be,
it would be destined to be what it want to be,
however,
if i could try to change the entire ending of the episode,
i would do so..
=)
I looked through the photos i've taken with all of u last time,
during my secondary school days,
in school,
during Leo Investiture,
during Leo programmes,
during the trips,
and during the moments we took..
OMG,
it's so damn beautiful,
those sincere smile,
those wonderful moments,
i just dunno how to describe any further..
Here in Sg,
i always envy them,
having secondary school class outing,
Orientation group outing,
secondary school CCA outing..
and so forth..
ya,
it's so easy to get in touch in singapore,
it's so small,
and everyone just need to put a bit effort to really come out,
spend some time,
and it's just so fun..
i'm kinda sad,
coz i'm so far apart from u all,
even for any outing,
i wouldn't be able to make it..
and,
i miss all of u..
i really do..
everytime i heard of outings for secondary school,
it just flashes those faces..
i really miss those times,
our outing are so cheapo..
like go out eat Roti Canai,
not even a proper McDonald's meal,
which is so goddamn expensive to us that time
=)
those chats by the beach..
heart to heart talks,
trash out moments,
emo-ing by the beach and stuff..
of coz,
the moments during graduation ceremony,
camps,
in class,
Leo programmes..
and Trips..
those are the wonderful memories.
Thank you my secondary school friends..
i'm really grateful to have all of u..
miss all of u,
and remember to take care + keep in touch..
coz life's unpredictable....
Thursday, August 13
Daijyobu?
Mood: worried..
Watshino shinyuu,
ogenki desuka?
ima wa, anatawa daijyobu desuka?
watashimo shinpai desu..
Seeing u being hurt,
i'm so sorry..
i cannot help u at all..
i may not really help u through the entire thing,
maybe i've made u even more angst..
i'm so so sorry.. really..
argh..
i didn't get angry bout u getting very protective,
instead,
i admire the love that u have for ur juniors..
i do feel the same way,
or maybe i should say i did..
until when,
if i'm not mistaken,
RJ told me that i cannot get too involved,
coz it's their term,
their projects,
their events,
their problems,
and their learning points..
Then, i realise it's true,
coz when we just take over,
we also don't want the seniors to haunt us..
i realise that,
and from there,
i learnt to let go,
bit by bit,
and finally off it goes..
however,
my love for them has never been wavered..
it has always been like tat..
i'm still so concerned..
but i will onli advise them when they ask me about it.. =)
I hope,
all these would not be affecting our frenship too much,
ya,
inevitably the distance grew further,
but if we are gonna patch it up,
it's kinda easy,
rite?
i just hope that u r alrite..
i dunno whether to approach u now,
or let u cool down..
i dunno whether u r still angry towards us,
even though lots of them has commented a lot..
but,
i really hope,
we still stay the same..
remember our promise?
u would try your best to keep in touch.. =)
I hope everything's over,
there may be a scar,
or a healing wound..
wat's done cannot be undone,
but we can always learn from it..
It's pain inside,
and i hope u would get better..
Watshino shinyuu,
ogenki desuka?
ima wa, anatawa daijyobu desuka?
watashimo shinpai desu..
Seeing u being hurt,
i'm so sorry..
i cannot help u at all..
i may not really help u through the entire thing,
maybe i've made u even more angst..
i'm so so sorry.. really..
argh..
i didn't get angry bout u getting very protective,
instead,
i admire the love that u have for ur juniors..
i do feel the same way,
or maybe i should say i did..
until when,
if i'm not mistaken,
RJ told me that i cannot get too involved,
coz it's their term,
their projects,
their events,
their problems,
and their learning points..
Then, i realise it's true,
coz when we just take over,
we also don't want the seniors to haunt us..
i realise that,
and from there,
i learnt to let go,
bit by bit,
and finally off it goes..
however,
my love for them has never been wavered..
it has always been like tat..
i'm still so concerned..
but i will onli advise them when they ask me about it.. =)
I hope,
all these would not be affecting our frenship too much,
ya,
inevitably the distance grew further,
but if we are gonna patch it up,
it's kinda easy,
rite?
i just hope that u r alrite..
i dunno whether to approach u now,
or let u cool down..
i dunno whether u r still angry towards us,
even though lots of them has commented a lot..
but,
i really hope,
we still stay the same..
remember our promise?
u would try your best to keep in touch.. =)
I hope everything's over,
there may be a scar,
or a healing wound..
wat's done cannot be undone,
but we can always learn from it..
It's pain inside,
and i hope u would get better..
Monday, August 10
心，也需要休息。
我好久没用华语了，
词句也差了很多。
我想念用话语的时刻。
在这里，
华语不常用。
英语是主要的沟通语言。
现在华语也无法真正表达我的心。
许多事情在发生，
许多东西我都想不通。
许多事情都在恶化。
也有许多事情人家不知道。
愤怒之下的我们，
经常都是无理的。
很多时候我们需要冷静，
很多时候我们需要沟通。
更多时候我们应该自我反省。
我最近想了好多，
4天，
才用了1天来真正读书，
也许，
情绪化，
是一个缺点。
何必在乎人家的事呢？
我之所以这么做，
莫非是关心，
莫非是要减轻事情的恶化。
可是，
我却阻止不了任何的事情，
怪自己没用，
怪自己毫无力量，
怪自己保护不了自己深信的东西，
更怪自己无法庇护对自己重要的东西。
我已慢下脚步，
我已用心观察。
我已不偏袒任何一方。
我已相信彼此。
我已使尽办法。
我已不知所措，
我已无能为力。
若，
我做的这一切一切，
只让您深感愤怒，
我真挚的抱歉，
打从我心里，
对不起的对你说声。
对不起，
我永远相信它不会来得太迟，
总有一天，
我相信您会接受。
告诉自己，
人是万物之灵，
人是有情绪的。
人相识容易，
相处难。
这是大地的规则。
毁谤，
冷战，
憎恨，
在任何一段感情，
是无可避免的。
相信，
原谅，
理智，
才能够把感情，
弄得漂亮，
弄得完美。
世界真奇妙，
有缘千里来相会，
无缘对面不相逢。
我千里迢迢，
来到这里，
结识了你，
也是缘分的安排。
我珍惜这一切细心的安排，
更不想辜负这安排。
我不要后悔，
所以我才那么拼命，
挽留一切对我重要的东西。
你，
就是其中的一个。
愿，
一切一切可以迎刃而解。
愿，
一切一切可以完美无瑕，
愿，
所由我认识的人，
得以安详与快乐。
词句也差了很多。
我想念用话语的时刻。
在这里，
华语不常用。
英语是主要的沟通语言。
现在华语也无法真正表达我的心。
许多事情在发生，
许多东西我都想不通。
许多事情都在恶化。
也有许多事情人家不知道。
愤怒之下的我们，
经常都是无理的。
很多时候我们需要冷静，
很多时候我们需要沟通。
更多时候我们应该自我反省。
我最近想了好多，
4天，
才用了1天来真正读书，
也许，
情绪化，
是一个缺点。
何必在乎人家的事呢？
我之所以这么做，
莫非是关心，
莫非是要减轻事情的恶化。
可是，
我却阻止不了任何的事情，
怪自己没用，
怪自己毫无力量，
怪自己保护不了自己深信的东西，
更怪自己无法庇护对自己重要的东西。
我已慢下脚步，
我已用心观察。
我已不偏袒任何一方。
我已相信彼此。
我已使尽办法。
我已不知所措，
我已无能为力。
若，
我做的这一切一切，
只让您深感愤怒，
我真挚的抱歉，
打从我心里，
对不起的对你说声。
对不起，
我永远相信它不会来得太迟，
总有一天，
我相信您会接受。
告诉自己，
人是万物之灵，
人是有情绪的。
人相识容易，
相处难。
这是大地的规则。
毁谤，
冷战，
憎恨，
在任何一段感情，
是无可避免的。
相信，
原谅，
理智，
才能够把感情，
弄得漂亮，
弄得完美。
世界真奇妙，
有缘千里来相会，
无缘对面不相逢。
我千里迢迢，
来到这里，
结识了你，
也是缘分的安排。
我珍惜这一切细心的安排，
更不想辜负这安排。
我不要后悔，
所以我才那么拼命，
挽留一切对我重要的东西。
你，
就是其中的一个。
愿，
一切一切可以迎刃而解。
愿，
一切一切可以完美无瑕，
愿，
所由我认识的人，
得以安详与快乐。
Miss Home..
What makes a human human?
LOL,
emotions..
=)
and i'm aware that i'm very emotional..
hmm..
Kristle's grandpa passed away,
and i saw her so sad,
and i couldn't help her..
i wanted to comfort her,
i wanted to talk to her,
of how i really experienced mine,
but i think it's too early..
becoz of that,
i realise i'm very lucky and blessed to have my grandaunt,
even though she has left me,
even though it has been 4 years,
it's still significantly affecting me..
From then on,
i learnt to love those i love so much so that they noe,
i want them to noe i love them..
i want to be there for them,
and i want to give them the best i could..
I learnt that,
family is such a great support that i have neglected since so long,
and finally,
i realise,
i miss home..
Home,
for wat it is,
being a flat, condo, or bungalow,
it doesn't matter anymore,
it matters when who's inside,
who's waiting for u to come home no matter how late it is,
who's worried for u,
who's really there to care for u,
and they are none other than my family..
I'm sorry to be so ignorant,
but it's never too late,
i love my home,
i love,
i miss,
and i really do,
for everything that happens,
home is still a place i won't get rejected..
i miss home..
=(
LOL,
emotions..
=)
and i'm aware that i'm very emotional..
hmm..
Kristle's grandpa passed away,
and i saw her so sad,
and i couldn't help her..
i wanted to comfort her,
i wanted to talk to her,
of how i really experienced mine,
but i think it's too early..
becoz of that,
i realise i'm very lucky and blessed to have my grandaunt,
even though she has left me,
even though it has been 4 years,
it's still significantly affecting me..
From then on,
i learnt to love those i love so much so that they noe,
i want them to noe i love them..
i want to be there for them,
and i want to give them the best i could..
I learnt that,
family is such a great support that i have neglected since so long,
and finally,
i realise,
i miss home..
Home,
for wat it is,
being a flat, condo, or bungalow,
it doesn't matter anymore,
it matters when who's inside,
who's waiting for u to come home no matter how late it is,
who's worried for u,
who's really there to care for u,
and they are none other than my family..
I'm sorry to be so ignorant,
but it's never too late,
i love my home,
i love,
i miss,
and i really do,
for everything that happens,
home is still a place i won't get rejected..
i miss home..
=(
From LJ..
Mood: being loved =)
"Dear Stevenn,
It had been a great pleasure knowing you for 1 year, 7 months and 22 days.
Eventhough we seldom talk much, but when we do, it was always filled with topics that tickles me =)
Hope that you'll enjoy some Sarawak specialties I've brough along.
LJ 08 08 09"
OMG,
was kinda shock,
and was kinda touched..
Sometimes,
those who u never really thought of,
gives so much love even in such small notes and small gifts..
It was just basically a few Pepper sweets,
then,
it just warmed my heart.. =)
Thanks LJ,
You just brighten up my night,
when i am so stressed with so many things..
Thanks again.. =)
"Dear Stevenn,
It had been a great pleasure knowing you for 1 year, 7 months and 22 days.
Eventhough we seldom talk much, but when we do, it was always filled with topics that tickles me =)
Hope that you'll enjoy some Sarawak specialties I've brough along.
LJ 08 08 09"
OMG,
was kinda shock,
and was kinda touched..
Sometimes,
those who u never really thought of,
gives so much love even in such small notes and small gifts..
It was just basically a few Pepper sweets,
then,
it just warmed my heart.. =)
Thanks LJ,
You just brighten up my night,
when i am so stressed with so many things..
Thanks again.. =)
Sunday, August 9
Hm..
Mood: heart ache.. helpless..
I've told Quan not to get involved in SC stuff anymore,
maybe i just can't totally get out of it,
and now,
i'm making myself very worried bout things i shouldn't be..
i should noe that i've stepped down,
and i should noe that i need to focus in my studies,
after all,
this is a one-way ticket,
i have no other choices but to carry on,
i cannot choose to U-turn,
it would mean a lot of money for my studies..
i should concentrate and focus..
i noe i need to,
but it's hard..
i was deleting messages this afternoon,
it was like 1600+ msgs in my phone's inbox..
i cannot select all and delete,
thus i need to manually delete one-by-one..
and in fact,
it's tiring..
and i read thru those msgs before i delete,
some funny stuffs i sms-ed my frens came back,
those memories,
it just came back..
even if the lamest sms,
it still made me smile..
it's been quite a while since i talk to u..
i'm scared,
coz i dun noe wat u thinking..
and apparently a lot of things cocked up..
i dunno what i should do,
and maybe thinking i'm taking sides..
i heard from both sides,
and i really dunno wat to do..
coz u r still my buddy,
i can't ask u not to get angry,
and i can't really help to solve it,
and now,
it's just making things worse..
and i really hope,
after all,
our frenship will remain..
that's all i really hope,
and that's wat i am praying so hard now..
i'm affected,
and i noe,
it's unavoidable..
i'm sorry if i had in a way or other hurt u,
sorry..
I hope i would be able to drink some alcohol,
to take away all those stress..
i didn't noe how to react,
and i really need alcohol..
Cheers..!!!
I've told Quan not to get involved in SC stuff anymore,
maybe i just can't totally get out of it,
and now,
i'm making myself very worried bout things i shouldn't be..
i should noe that i've stepped down,
and i should noe that i need to focus in my studies,
after all,
this is a one-way ticket,
i have no other choices but to carry on,
i cannot choose to U-turn,
it would mean a lot of money for my studies..
i should concentrate and focus..
i noe i need to,
but it's hard..
i was deleting messages this afternoon,
it was like 1600+ msgs in my phone's inbox..
i cannot select all and delete,
thus i need to manually delete one-by-one..
and in fact,
it's tiring..
and i read thru those msgs before i delete,
some funny stuffs i sms-ed my frens came back,
those memories,
it just came back..
even if the lamest sms,
it still made me smile..
it's been quite a while since i talk to u..
i'm scared,
coz i dun noe wat u thinking..
and apparently a lot of things cocked up..
i dunno what i should do,
and maybe thinking i'm taking sides..
i heard from both sides,
and i really dunno wat to do..
coz u r still my buddy,
i can't ask u not to get angry,
and i can't really help to solve it,
and now,
it's just making things worse..
and i really hope,
after all,
our frenship will remain..
that's all i really hope,
and that's wat i am praying so hard now..
i'm affected,
and i noe,
it's unavoidable..
i'm sorry if i had in a way or other hurt u,
sorry..
I hope i would be able to drink some alcohol,
to take away all those stress..
i didn't noe how to react,
and i really need alcohol..
Cheers..!!!
Friday, August 7
National Day Celebration =)
Mood: AWESOMENESS, Thoughts...
Today is a wonderful day,
i wonder how's everyone feeling,
such nice day,
sports event,
4 X 100m,
Movie,
and Dinner!!!
OMG the dinner at Eddie's place is wonderful..
like OMG..
her mum prepared dinner for 15 of us,
like 5 dishes,
which was so darn delicious,
i really love home-cooked food man !!!
we had lotz of fun with the drum set + guitar + mic,
bridge,
which i have missed it so much,
and i get to play..
OMG,
i love outings with my class..
i really do..
and i'm very glad,
that our class bond together so strongly..
=)
A few learning points i got today..
1) Never be egoistic..
coz u r not always the best..
sometimes,
u think u r good enough,
but then again,
u are involved,
u will never noe wat's going on in the big picture,
onli those who r outside of would see it..
Then again,
sometimes,
we need to accept views from others,
coz that's when we learn,
and when we will improve..
if u were to reject it like a naive child,
u will tend to let this opportunity to get better slips off
Sometimes being humble will not kill u,
but it would make u respected,
then again,
"sorry" is always the hardest thing to say..
i wonder,
would i be like this?
i think i've become so matured,
is due to Student council,
where we do not have the chance to whine,
but among ourselves,
sometimes,
whining shall keep among a particular group,
if not,
it would worsen a situation...
In student council,
every little thing we say,
every little comment we have,
it affects our image,
and i wonder,
how bad this would be,
when someones comment so loudly in the crowd,
where they are not even planning the PERFECT event,
which is impossible to be..
So i think,
i will learn,
and somehow,
listen to others first,
before i could get on,
or defend my own stand..
=)
2) Appreciate those who r with u..
I wonder what would happen to us after like 10 years..
Like the class i'm in,
like my frens back in msia..
and a lot more stuff,
they would be unknown..
Kristle,
i'm sorry to hear that ur Grandpa has just passed away,
i knew how it feel..
i hope u are ok Kristle,
i'm sorry for being insensitive,
but u must noe tat we are all there with u..
do tell us when u need a listening ear,
do tell us when u need help..
we are one 0816,
one class,
one family..
Losing someone is not easy,
Getting over it is worse,
Learning something from it is worst...
Jiayou Kristle..
人云亦云，
或曰好，
或曰欠佳。
子无体验，
且见区区小况,
憨以小人之腹，
纳收欠佳之语，
皆气至怒发冲冠。
吾因此，
深心痛疼。
子何故，
况无何重，
尔且耿于怀。
吾，子俩，
犹叩头亦结拜兄弟。
莫说经荆棘，
此鸡毛蒜皮亦闹得天翻地覆。
无须称何海枯石烂之约，
吾已不知所措，
子逼吾至此况，
且恼，且恨。
吾亦无罪，
且助于清其况，
子却怪罪吾。
听其二方之言，
吾结此为误，
二方亦错，
尔且撑他立场，
闭耳，
非听另方，
更气其方。
吾无可奈何，
狗咬吕洞宾，
不是好人心。
子撑子人，
亦无所解其况
更为其事大发雷霆，
何以必？
二方若起闹，
子亦乐乎？
若双亦苦，
尔又何为乐？
可悲，
子之度，
非之君子之为也！
吾为此心疼，
不解，
惑之其中。
Today is a wonderful day,
i wonder how's everyone feeling,
such nice day,
sports event,
4 X 100m,
Movie,
and Dinner!!!
OMG the dinner at Eddie's place is wonderful..
like OMG..
her mum prepared dinner for 15 of us,
like 5 dishes,
which was so darn delicious,
i really love home-cooked food man !!!
we had lotz of fun with the drum set + guitar + mic,
bridge,
which i have missed it so much,
and i get to play..
OMG,
i love outings with my class..
i really do..
and i'm very glad,
that our class bond together so strongly..
=)
A few learning points i got today..
1) Never be egoistic..
coz u r not always the best..
sometimes,
u think u r good enough,
but then again,
u are involved,
u will never noe wat's going on in the big picture,
onli those who r outside of would see it..
Then again,
sometimes,
we need to accept views from others,
coz that's when we learn,
and when we will improve..
if u were to reject it like a naive child,
u will tend to let this opportunity to get better slips off
Sometimes being humble will not kill u,
but it would make u respected,
then again,
"sorry" is always the hardest thing to say..
i wonder,
would i be like this?
i think i've become so matured,
is due to Student council,
where we do not have the chance to whine,
but among ourselves,
sometimes,
whining shall keep among a particular group,
if not,
it would worsen a situation...
In student council,
every little thing we say,
every little comment we have,
it affects our image,
and i wonder,
how bad this would be,
when someones comment so loudly in the crowd,
where they are not even planning the PERFECT event,
which is impossible to be..
So i think,
i will learn,
and somehow,
listen to others first,
before i could get on,
or defend my own stand..
=)
2) Appreciate those who r with u..
I wonder what would happen to us after like 10 years..
Like the class i'm in,
like my frens back in msia..
and a lot more stuff,
they would be unknown..
Kristle,
i'm sorry to hear that ur Grandpa has just passed away,
i knew how it feel..
i hope u are ok Kristle,
i'm sorry for being insensitive,
but u must noe tat we are all there with u..
do tell us when u need a listening ear,
do tell us when u need help..
we are one 0816,
one class,
one family..
Losing someone is not easy,
Getting over it is worse,
Learning something from it is worst...
Jiayou Kristle..
人云亦云，
或曰好，
或曰欠佳。
子无体验，
且见区区小况,
憨以小人之腹，
纳收欠佳之语，
皆气至怒发冲冠。
吾因此，
深心痛疼。
子何故，
况无何重，
尔且耿于怀。
吾，子俩，
犹叩头亦结拜兄弟。
莫说经荆棘，
此鸡毛蒜皮亦闹得天翻地覆。
无须称何海枯石烂之约，
吾已不知所措，
子逼吾至此况，
且恼，且恨。
吾亦无罪，
且助于清其况，
子却怪罪吾。
听其二方之言，
吾结此为误，
二方亦错，
尔且撑他立场，
闭耳，
非听另方，
更气其方。
吾无可奈何，
狗咬吕洞宾，
不是好人心。
子撑子人，
亦无所解其况
更为其事大发雷霆，
何以必？
二方若起闹，
子亦乐乎？
若双亦苦，
尔又何为乐？
可悲，
子之度，
非之君子之为也！
吾为此心疼，
不解，
惑之其中。
=)
Mood: contented... Emo...
woke up like 1am plus,
maybe coz i'm hungry =x
anyway,
was a very nice day today,
even though at first i was filled with worries..
then again,
i was prepared to face it..
i realise,
i misses home..
home-cooked food,
suddenly,
it reminds me of kor poh, mummy and daddy..
who always take care of my meal..
sometimes,
i miss home,
but,
wat more can i do?
it's quite lonely here,
like deep inside,
there's always this black hole that devour me,
mostly during my saddest moment,
and i noe a lot of my frens are beside,
to be there for me..
but yup,
i'm sorry if i'm still feeling like tat,
coz i couldn't help it..
it just affects me so much..
coz i miss home..
thanks eddie,
for bringing food to school..
i really appreciate it a lot,
class sharing,
class laughter,
class bonding..
and of coz,
reminds me of home..
it seems like those are the few times i ate home cooked food,
from a Singaporean friend,
even though Louis has invited me once,
and i had it at Nic's place..
and these food just bring so much memories,
i misses a lot of things,
people,
moments...
I wonder how's kor poh,
where have u been..
and i nv ever see u any more in my life..
the image of u,
is fading away..
is it a good thing?
i dun think so..
i miss u a lot..
i really do..
i miss the moments i kiss u on ur cheek,
and u caress my forehead until i go to sleep..
i miss the moments u gave me money,
and of coz those moments u nag at me..
i miss all the hugs u gave me,
sense of touch,
and all the love u gave me..
it's been 5 years..
and the day u left us,
was sometime around this year..
i still remember that sight u lie on ur bed,
i was hoping u to breathe once again,
i really do...
i regretted,
for not showing u how much i love u..
i'm so sorry..
i hope u noe,
i love u forever and always..
and time,
pls do not erase these memories of me and kor poh..
pls dun take away that last image i have on her..
Sometimes,
i think i take things for granted..
i dunno how to appreciate it..
Danny,
who once accompany me to Clarke Quay for chats,
has now gone back to Hong Kong..
how could this be?
i miss him so much,
miss those moments we booze,
those moments we bullshit,
and those moments of company..
=)
Happy Birthday my dear Brother!!
=)
Thanks HuiQuan for the ice-cream..
like it has been quite a while since we had ice-cream,
think it was during the exam period when our moods flung like hell..
then again,
these are the moments we shared,
and i really love this moments..
thanks for bringing smiles into my life,
and grace my life as u walk through it..
thanks..
I now learnt that people are reading my blog..
especially my close frens..
i'm sorry if i out-poured too much emotions,
but then again,
for u to read my blog,
u r already my close friends.
sometimes,
i think i gave the link,
but i don't expect u to read,
yet,
i noe,
u r reading..
sorry..
woke up like 1am plus,
maybe coz i'm hungry =x
anyway,
was a very nice day today,
even though at first i was filled with worries..
then again,
i was prepared to face it..
i realise,
i misses home..
home-cooked food,
suddenly,
it reminds me of kor poh, mummy and daddy..
who always take care of my meal..
sometimes,
i miss home,
but,
wat more can i do?
it's quite lonely here,
like deep inside,
there's always this black hole that devour me,
mostly during my saddest moment,
and i noe a lot of my frens are beside,
to be there for me..
but yup,
i'm sorry if i'm still feeling like tat,
coz i couldn't help it..
it just affects me so much..
coz i miss home..
thanks eddie,
for bringing food to school..
i really appreciate it a lot,
class sharing,
class laughter,
class bonding..
and of coz,
reminds me of home..
it seems like those are the few times i ate home cooked food,
from a Singaporean friend,
even though Louis has invited me once,
and i had it at Nic's place..
and these food just bring so much memories,
i misses a lot of things,
people,
moments...
I wonder how's kor poh,
where have u been..
and i nv ever see u any more in my life..
the image of u,
is fading away..
is it a good thing?
i dun think so..
i miss u a lot..
i really do..
i miss the moments i kiss u on ur cheek,
and u caress my forehead until i go to sleep..
i miss the moments u gave me money,
and of coz those moments u nag at me..
i miss all the hugs u gave me,
sense of touch,
and all the love u gave me..
it's been 5 years..
and the day u left us,
was sometime around this year..
i still remember that sight u lie on ur bed,
i was hoping u to breathe once again,
i really do...
i regretted,
for not showing u how much i love u..
i'm so sorry..
i hope u noe,
i love u forever and always..
and time,
pls do not erase these memories of me and kor poh..
pls dun take away that last image i have on her..
Sometimes,
i think i take things for granted..
i dunno how to appreciate it..
Danny,
who once accompany me to Clarke Quay for chats,
has now gone back to Hong Kong..
how could this be?
i miss him so much,
miss those moments we booze,
those moments we bullshit,
and those moments of company..
=)
Happy Birthday my dear Brother!!
=)
Thanks HuiQuan for the ice-cream..
like it has been quite a while since we had ice-cream,
think it was during the exam period when our moods flung like hell..
then again,
these are the moments we shared,
and i really love this moments..
thanks for bringing smiles into my life,
and grace my life as u walk through it..
thanks..
I now learnt that people are reading my blog..
especially my close frens..
i'm sorry if i out-poured too much emotions,
but then again,
for u to read my blog,
u r already my close friends.
sometimes,
i think i gave the link,
but i don't expect u to read,
yet,
i noe,
u r reading..
sorry..
Tuesday, August 4
Regret
Mood: disappointment and regretful.
Did something freaking bad,
yup,
and was like regret till the max..
i just dunno y i have the urge to do that,
but then again,
mayb coz of stress and stuff.
I'm sorry..
i really am..
and when u talked to me,
i realised a lot of things,
and u shot me down one and all..
i noe i wasn't having the capability to prove to u i'm much better,
but i'm trying..
i am sorry i couldn't,
and we couldn't,
sorry..
we weren't irresponsible,
we saw u coming in,
we walked towards u to talk to u,
yet,
u said we were irresponsible,
which was quite hurting,
we were ready to face the music,
we knew that will be the consequences,
we knew that would happen,
yet,
we believe that if we did it on our own,
it would be much better..
i'm sorry..
It's just disappointment to u,
and it is to myself too..
i realise how much effort u all put in and i didn't acknowledge it..
i was so hurt to hear that,
totally,
i felt guilty with nothing else to say..
Sorry..
Did something freaking bad,
yup,
and was like regret till the max..
i just dunno y i have the urge to do that,
but then again,
mayb coz of stress and stuff.
I'm sorry..
i really am..
and when u talked to me,
i realised a lot of things,
and u shot me down one and all..
i noe i wasn't having the capability to prove to u i'm much better,
but i'm trying..
i am sorry i couldn't,
and we couldn't,
sorry..
we weren't irresponsible,
we saw u coming in,
we walked towards u to talk to u,
yet,
u said we were irresponsible,
which was quite hurting,
we were ready to face the music,
we knew that will be the consequences,
we knew that would happen,
yet,
we believe that if we did it on our own,
it would be much better..
i'm sorry..
It's just disappointment to u,
and it is to myself too..
i realise how much effort u all put in and i didn't acknowledge it..
i was so hurt to hear that,
totally,
i felt guilty with nothing else to say..
Sorry..
Sunday, August 2
Cheated or Rejected?
Mood: Confused, Upset..
Sometimes,
if u would need to tell me frankly u r avoiding me,
it would mean so much clearer for me to react..
i'm so sorry if i had made u feel so afraid of me
maybe due to my frankness or my sudden attachment to u..
but yup,
u still mean alot to me..
coz u r my buddy..
i find it one-sided,
coz i always need u,
but i wasn't needed at all..
true,
frenship weren't an equivalent trade,
but then again,
i felt i'm a burden to u.
i felt like i'm haunting u,
like i can't do much to help u,
and this has lead on to a distance between us..
i've always tried to walk nearer to u,
but it seems u r so much further away..
i was fast in running,
but i need time to pull hearts together..
i'm so sorry if u felt so disgusted of me,
or maybe tired of me..
but could u really show some clear indication?
u rejected me to go out together,
yet,
u r going out with some other friends..
i didn't wanna question bout this frankness..
i dun need to,
i noe i should believe u,
but the fact is u r rejecting me..
I wonder which is true,
am i cheated or am i rejected..
if it really would turn to hatred,
i would rather stay away..
however i just wanna tell u that,
u r one of my most important friends in my JC life,
i could count within my 10 fingers,
and u r one of them..
I treasure u,
and i really love u,
my buddy..
I hope to really meet up to talk to u again..
i really miss those moments,
and i would not wanna haunt u
or even sms u,
or even start a convo anymore,
coz i no longer noe what u r thinking anymore..
hope we remember the promise,
that we would try to keep in touch,
and keep this frenship as long as possible..
Best Friends Forever..
i hope..
Sometimes,
if u would need to tell me frankly u r avoiding me,
it would mean so much clearer for me to react..
i'm so sorry if i had made u feel so afraid of me
maybe due to my frankness or my sudden attachment to u..
but yup,
u still mean alot to me..
coz u r my buddy..
i find it one-sided,
coz i always need u,
but i wasn't needed at all..
true,
frenship weren't an equivalent trade,
but then again,
i felt i'm a burden to u.
i felt like i'm haunting u,
like i can't do much to help u,
and this has lead on to a distance between us..
i've always tried to walk nearer to u,
but it seems u r so much further away..
i was fast in running,
but i need time to pull hearts together..
i'm so sorry if u felt so disgusted of me,
or maybe tired of me..
but could u really show some clear indication?
u rejected me to go out together,
yet,
u r going out with some other friends..
i didn't wanna question bout this frankness..
i dun need to,
i noe i should believe u,
but the fact is u r rejecting me..
I wonder which is true,
am i cheated or am i rejected..
if it really would turn to hatred,
i would rather stay away..
however i just wanna tell u that,
u r one of my most important friends in my JC life,
i could count within my 10 fingers,
and u r one of them..
I treasure u,
and i really love u,
my buddy..
I hope to really meet up to talk to u again..
i really miss those moments,
and i would not wanna haunt u
or even sms u,
or even start a convo anymore,
coz i no longer noe what u r thinking anymore..
hope we remember the promise,
that we would try to keep in touch,
and keep this frenship as long as possible..
Best Friends Forever..
i hope..
Friday, July 31
Reflections.. Emo..
Mood: Guilty..
Suddenly i miss my cousins..
.jpg)
This cute little cousin of mine,
Jia Ning =)
i suddenly miss the times spent with them,
running around at the park beside the reservoir,
tickling them till they can't breathe and stuff..
i wonder,
do they miss me..
i miss my cousins,
and i realise,
i've been neglecting my cousins,
love,
i would give them when i really meet them,
but ya,
in terms of thought,
like buying stuffs for them,
the truth is i nv ever though of it.
i'm kinda guilty and,
i realise,
i take my frens more importantly than my cousins..
Undeniably,
i would sacrifice even my life for both,
but yup,
i kinda take them for granted..
Why do i hold on to my friends so tightly..?
coz,
there is this uncertain that what would this frenship end up..
Maybe due to my situation,
where i spend more time than my family..
however,
kinship,
would always be linked..
I kinda feel guilty,
and i realise,
sometimes,
frens is just from different stages of life
and,
whether they stay or leave,
it's up to both sides..
and,
it's hard to have both sides to respond..
I love my cousins,
i really do,
and i miss all of them =)
no matter wat,
we are still cousins ya =)
I realise,
keep a secret is a noble task..
not easy..
it's really not easy when it's not even ur own secret..
i wonder,
how could people keep so much secrets,
where me myself can't even really bare a secret,
that's so much impact to me..
where it determines everything,
and when it shows how i was..
yet,
i failed to keep it personal..
and hiding it from some1 is so hard..
when u have the urge to speak..
i realise,
hiding something away from the world is so hard..
and,
it's just a difficult task..
sometimes,
i can't even bare to keep those feelings towards my frens,
like how upset i get when they irritate me,
and how dearly they mean to me..
and sometimes,
secret,
bout ur past..
does it make a change on ur current life when ppl noes it..?
It does i guess....
No matter how hard i try,
yet,
i still fail,
is it an indication to give up?
i dun understand actually,
when u put ur heart and soul into something u believe u could,
but it always end up that u would fail,
somehow,
this is the process i think,
that we need to go thru,
so as we could appreciate what we obtain..
hard,
tough,
shd i give up?
Have i not done enuff?
for my family?
frens?
studies?
and all my everything?
i apologise for everything that's not enuff,
i would work harder..
i really would..
And for the meet the parents session,
it was like so disastrous,
imagine if i need to...
but i almost need to meet..
and i dunno how mummy n daddy will feel bout my results,
coz i was one of the strongest among the cohort,
and i'm now barely passing..
how could i face them..?
and,
how much could i have done?
and how much could i have not done..
Sometimes,
it's hard to be strong,
it's hard..
when u r so weak inside..
i am vulnerable,
easily hurt,
and being very emotional..
i noe myself,
i noe i couldn't take it if it hits directly into my heart,
but yet,
i still take it with a smile..
Faker?
no..
i just dun wanna hurt anyone anymore,
if that strikes onli me,
i dun mind,
i would suffer myself,
and hope others would not realise,
and smile on..
it's hard to be strong,
and yet,
i'm trying to be..
I have to be strong,
i'm depending and being depend on..
i noe i need to be strong..
but i just can't somehow sometime..
i just,
wanna apologise if i can't be strong,
and finally show my weak side..
I smile even when i got hit,
just to get things over,
and i love those around me,
and hope that smile would just help me cover my feelings,
so that they are not really worrying bout me..
i'm sorry if i'm being selfish,
but i just wanna see u all smile..
.jpg)
and the skies are always so beautiful,
the clouds,
the sunset.
the everything in this world,
it just makes life so beautiful..
Suddenly i miss my cousins..
.jpg)
This cute little cousin of mine,Jia Ning =)
i suddenly miss the times spent with them,
running around at the park beside the reservoir,
tickling them till they can't breathe and stuff..
i wonder,
do they miss me..
i miss my cousins,
and i realise,
i've been neglecting my cousins,
love,
i would give them when i really meet them,
but ya,
in terms of thought,
like buying stuffs for them,
the truth is i nv ever though of it.
i'm kinda guilty and,
i realise,
i take my frens more importantly than my cousins..
Undeniably,
i would sacrifice even my life for both,
but yup,
i kinda take them for granted..
Why do i hold on to my friends so tightly..?
coz,
there is this uncertain that what would this frenship end up..
Maybe due to my situation,
where i spend more time than my family..
however,
kinship,
would always be linked..
I kinda feel guilty,
and i realise,
sometimes,
frens is just from different stages of life
and,
whether they stay or leave,
it's up to both sides..
and,
it's hard to have both sides to respond..
I love my cousins,
i really do,
and i miss all of them =)
no matter wat,
we are still cousins ya =)
I realise,
keep a secret is a noble task..
not easy..
it's really not easy when it's not even ur own secret..
i wonder,
how could people keep so much secrets,
where me myself can't even really bare a secret,
that's so much impact to me..
where it determines everything,
and when it shows how i was..
yet,
i failed to keep it personal..
and hiding it from some1 is so hard..
when u have the urge to speak..
i realise,
hiding something away from the world is so hard..
and,
it's just a difficult task..
sometimes,
i can't even bare to keep those feelings towards my frens,
like how upset i get when they irritate me,
and how dearly they mean to me..
and sometimes,
secret,
bout ur past..
does it make a change on ur current life when ppl noes it..?
It does i guess....
No matter how hard i try,
yet,
i still fail,
is it an indication to give up?
i dun understand actually,
when u put ur heart and soul into something u believe u could,
but it always end up that u would fail,
somehow,
this is the process i think,
that we need to go thru,
so as we could appreciate what we obtain..
hard,
tough,
shd i give up?
Have i not done enuff?
for my family?
frens?
studies?
and all my everything?
i apologise for everything that's not enuff,
i would work harder..
i really would..
And for the meet the parents session,
it was like so disastrous,
imagine if i need to...
but i almost need to meet..
and i dunno how mummy n daddy will feel bout my results,
coz i was one of the strongest among the cohort,
and i'm now barely passing..
how could i face them..?
and,
how much could i have done?
and how much could i have not done..
Sometimes,
it's hard to be strong,
it's hard..
when u r so weak inside..
i am vulnerable,
easily hurt,
and being very emotional..
i noe myself,
i noe i couldn't take it if it hits directly into my heart,
but yet,
i still take it with a smile..
Faker?
no..
i just dun wanna hurt anyone anymore,
if that strikes onli me,
i dun mind,
i would suffer myself,
and hope others would not realise,
and smile on..
it's hard to be strong,
and yet,
i'm trying to be..
I have to be strong,
i'm depending and being depend on..
i noe i need to be strong..
but i just can't somehow sometime..
i just,
wanna apologise if i can't be strong,
and finally show my weak side..
I smile even when i got hit,
just to get things over,
and i love those around me,
and hope that smile would just help me cover my feelings,
so that they are not really worrying bout me..
i'm sorry if i'm being selfish,
but i just wanna see u all smile..
.jpg)
and the skies are always so beautiful,the clouds,
the sunset.
the everything in this world,
it just makes life so beautiful..
Thursday, July 30
Happy BirthdaY Hui Quan~~
Mood: Happy, Extremely Happy..
=)
It was birthday for HuiQuan,
mua buddy..
Happy Birthday HuiQuan!!!
was a long and tiring day..
but it was amazing..
I noe it mean a lot when something u dislike took away such a great day..
i noe how it feels for a birthday,
and i noe,
how much birthday means to us..
it's a time to gather and celebrate,
it's a time to look forward to present which we dun usually get,
it's a time to smile and laugh,
and it's a time to realise some broken frenship being repaired,
and some frenships being forged..
it meant a lot to me..
so yup,
i want it to be superb to u,
my dear buddy..
i hope i managed to make ur day wonderful.
coz,
my birthday is always too early,
and by the time people get to know me,
it's always too late..
i think my b'day celebrations are mostly postponed,
coz of Orientation,
and i realise,
on the day itself makes so much difference..
=)
Birthday,
means a lot to me,
coz i always wanted a party,
wanted my frens to celebrate with me,
but i still dun have the fund to organize such a party,
ya,
sad,
i am,
but yup,
i still always get presents,
small,
big,
belated,
on time,
it still shows so much bout my frens care..
This year,
mum n dad also forgot my b'day..
it's just seem,
i didn't have one complete b'day before.. =x
Hui Quan,
.jpg)
i hope the big bear would serve as a hug from the 13 of us,
and no matter wat,
i'll be there..
=)
i hope the entire day was filled with suspense,
and,
a lot of unpredictable stuffs..
and i hope it cheered u up..
Even CO is taking over like part of ur b'day,
i hope u enjoyed the rest of the day..
coz everyone's so happy and with full blessings to u..
A day with anonymous,
A day with shocking huge present,
A day with laughter,
A day with questions,
A day with anxiety,
A day with fear,
A day with happiness,
A day with stuns..
I think basically all emotions came in for the day..
and practically i wanna say sorry,
for bringing up ur saddening experience,
by giving u hope and stuff..
but yup,
i felt bad..
Sorry..
And i felt really lost to see u so troubled..
i'm so sorry coz we are not supposed to let u noe,
until the end of the day..
i'm sorry,
u were so worried on ur b'day..
i'm sorry for those shitty moments..
but then again,
that makes up all the fun..
dunno whether u cried coz u r touch or not,
but it wasn't the very very perfect birthday we could give u,
but i hope it would be good enuff for u..
=)
and bout ur sis,
i felt kinda sad bout it,
coz i realise i didn't do much for my brother either..
i felt the same way as ur sis,
like i nv gave such birthday to my family members either..
tell her,
it's not bout how much we could give u,
it's bout how much we are willing to give u..
i believe,
she would even give up her life in those emergency moments..
=)
and there's nothing stronger than Kinship..
I went to Esplanade,
for my first time,
and for my first time again,
to enjoy and orchestra performance..
it was wonderful,
the feeling in the auditorium,
and i wanted to go so badly to a performance,
and this is my first..
thanks HuiQuan..
=)
and i've started to like Chinese Orchestra instruments even more,
expecially Yang Qin, Di Zi, Zhong Hu, and GuZheng..
they were wonderful..
and i finally realise how ZhiHan found the passion in Chinese Orchestra..
=)
Dinner with HuiQuan's family was kinda cool,
me and eddie,
LOL,
had create laughter to them..
And HuiQuan's father remember me as the Peacock laughter..
LOL..
but ya,
hope i cherished their day also =)
On the Way home,
was with eddie talking bout hostel..
.jpg)
and true,
Parry Hall wasn't tat good as Oldham..
i should be blessed i was once in Oldham,
and now in Parry,
coz there are worse hostels..
but then again,
this difference in hostel standards,
made us compare,
but yup,
no matter how much we compare,
we feel worse,
and i've learn to take things as they are..
Parry Hall,
a deprovement of hostel standard,
but then,
in exchange i gain so much,
like a bonded class,
a wonderful school with wonderful teachers..
i'm blessed,
really i do feel blessed..
i really have not much to ask for..
ya..
life is wonderful enuff.. =)
=)
It was birthday for HuiQuan,
mua buddy..
Happy Birthday HuiQuan!!!
was a long and tiring day..
but it was amazing..
I noe it mean a lot when something u dislike took away such a great day..
i noe how it feels for a birthday,
and i noe,
how much birthday means to us..
it's a time to gather and celebrate,
it's a time to look forward to present which we dun usually get,
it's a time to smile and laugh,
and it's a time to realise some broken frenship being repaired,
and some frenships being forged..
it meant a lot to me..
so yup,
i want it to be superb to u,
my dear buddy..
i hope i managed to make ur day wonderful.
coz,
my birthday is always too early,
and by the time people get to know me,
it's always too late..
i think my b'day celebrations are mostly postponed,
coz of Orientation,
and i realise,
on the day itself makes so much difference..
=)
Birthday,
means a lot to me,
coz i always wanted a party,
wanted my frens to celebrate with me,
but i still dun have the fund to organize such a party,
ya,
sad,
i am,
but yup,
i still always get presents,
small,
big,
belated,
on time,
it still shows so much bout my frens care..
This year,
mum n dad also forgot my b'day..
it's just seem,
i didn't have one complete b'day before.. =x
Hui Quan,
.jpg)
i hope the big bear would serve as a hug from the 13 of us,and no matter wat,
i'll be there..
=)
i hope the entire day was filled with suspense,
and,
a lot of unpredictable stuffs..
and i hope it cheered u up..
Even CO is taking over like part of ur b'day,
i hope u enjoyed the rest of the day..
coz everyone's so happy and with full blessings to u..
A day with anonymous,
A day with shocking huge present,
A day with laughter,
A day with questions,
A day with anxiety,
A day with fear,
A day with happiness,
A day with stuns..
I think basically all emotions came in for the day..
and practically i wanna say sorry,
for bringing up ur saddening experience,
by giving u hope and stuff..
but yup,
i felt bad..
Sorry..
And i felt really lost to see u so troubled..
i'm so sorry coz we are not supposed to let u noe,
until the end of the day..
i'm sorry,
u were so worried on ur b'day..
i'm sorry for those shitty moments..
but then again,
that makes up all the fun..
dunno whether u cried coz u r touch or not,
but it wasn't the very very perfect birthday we could give u,
but i hope it would be good enuff for u..
=)
and bout ur sis,
i felt kinda sad bout it,
coz i realise i didn't do much for my brother either..
i felt the same way as ur sis,
like i nv gave such birthday to my family members either..
tell her,
it's not bout how much we could give u,
it's bout how much we are willing to give u..
i believe,
she would even give up her life in those emergency moments..
=)
and there's nothing stronger than Kinship..
I went to Esplanade,
for my first time,
and for my first time again,
to enjoy and orchestra performance..
it was wonderful,
the feeling in the auditorium,
and i wanted to go so badly to a performance,
and this is my first..
thanks HuiQuan..
=)
and i've started to like Chinese Orchestra instruments even more,
expecially Yang Qin, Di Zi, Zhong Hu, and GuZheng..
they were wonderful..
and i finally realise how ZhiHan found the passion in Chinese Orchestra..
=)
Dinner with HuiQuan's family was kinda cool,
me and eddie,
LOL,
had create laughter to them..
And HuiQuan's father remember me as the Peacock laughter..
LOL..
but ya,
hope i cherished their day also =)
On the Way home,
was with eddie talking bout hostel..
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and true,Parry Hall wasn't tat good as Oldham..
i should be blessed i was once in Oldham,
and now in Parry,
coz there are worse hostels..
but then again,
this difference in hostel standards,
made us compare,
but yup,
no matter how much we compare,
we feel worse,
and i've learn to take things as they are..
Parry Hall,
a deprovement of hostel standard,
but then,
in exchange i gain so much,
like a bonded class,
a wonderful school with wonderful teachers..
i'm blessed,
really i do feel blessed..
i really have not much to ask for..
ya..
life is wonderful enuff.. =)
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