Gomenasai, Shinyou

I'm sorry..
This freaking mood is killing me..
I wonder what's gonna happen to me,
and i really hope,
i can get a day of rest or 2..
Argh,
i'm kinda pissed at myself,
being so stupid,
being so playful,
being so idiotic..
ARGH..
nah,
i'm so sorry..
whatever u needed to give me,
u have already given..
it's not tat it didn't help,
it did,
and all i wanted just now is to calm down,
to really cry it out,
but tears are not listening to me..
i couldn't..
everything that has embedded deep inside my heart,
is aching ,
is making me uncomfortable,
and is making me mad..
How i wish i'm sick now,
for a few days i'm able to rest..
But,
i'm just too strong..
argh..
Not a good thing to have strong immune system.. x.x

i shd be grateful for not falling sick ill,
for having the heart whereby telling lies will make me uncomfortable..
If not,
i would have been like my roommate,
pon-ing every session of remedial and stuff..
i want to stay on,
but i feel that im just too weak..
i am really very helpless..
i am very selfish..
I'm sorry.....
Sorry, Quan..
hope u r better,
even though u r not feeling well,
u r still there for me..
sorry..
actually,
i was appearing offline,
i dun feel like chatting,
i dun feel like doing anything..
and,
i really dun wanna disturb u,
that's all my intention was..
mayb i shdn't online from the start,
and wouldn't have let u noe bout my stress..
yup,
i realise i'm not kinda ok already..
i wanted a trip to east coast park,
it was essential actually,
but in the end no one wanna go with me..
i need to let go all of them,
back to the ocean,
that devour every single worries..
even though it's momentarily,
it does help in clearing my mind..
i miss the sea..

I'm so sorry,
for being so selfish,
i thought,
not to throw out everything on u would make u better,
but i was wrong,
it affected u even more..
sorry..
argh..
I'm in a F-ing idiotic mood..
i hope i'm sick tml,
really,
pls give me a break..
i'm so darn tired,
exhausted with my life..
sorry to say,
im suffering..
save me...