Reflections.. Emo..

Mood: Guilty..

Suddenly i miss my cousins..
This cute little cousin of mine,
Jia Ning =)
i suddenly miss the times spent with them,
running around at the park beside the reservoir,
tickling them till they can't breathe and stuff..
i wonder,
do they miss me..
i miss my cousins,
and i realise,
i've been neglecting my cousins,
love,
i would give them when i really meet them,
but ya,
in terms of thought,
like buying stuffs for them,
the truth is i nv ever though of it.
i'm kinda guilty and,
i realise,
i take my frens more importantly than my cousins..
Undeniably,
i would sacrifice even my life for both,
but yup,
i kinda take them for granted..
Why do i hold on to my friends so tightly..?
coz,
there is this uncertain that what would this frenship end up..
Maybe due to my situation,
where i spend more time than my family..
however,
kinship,
would always be linked..
I kinda feel guilty,
and i realise,
sometimes,
frens is just from different stages of life
and,
whether they stay or leave,
it's up to both sides..
and,
it's hard to have both sides to respond..
I love my cousins,
i really do,
and i miss all of them =)
no matter wat,
we are still cousins ya =)

I realise,
keep a secret is a noble task..
not easy..
it's really not easy when it's not even ur own secret..
i wonder,
how could people keep so much secrets,
where me myself can't even really bare a secret,
that's so much impact to me..
where it determines everything,
and when it shows how i was..
yet,
i failed to keep it personal..
and hiding it from some1 is so hard..
when u have the urge to speak..
i realise,
hiding something away from the world is so hard..
and,
it's just a difficult task..
sometimes,
i can't even bare to keep those feelings towards my frens,
like how upset i get when they irritate me,
and how dearly they mean to me..
and sometimes,
secret,
bout ur past..
does it make a change on ur current life when ppl noes it..?
It does i guess....

No matter how hard i try,
yet,
i still fail,
is it an indication to give up?
i dun understand actually,
when u put ur heart and soul into something u believe u could,
but it always end up that u would fail,
somehow,
this is the process i think,
that we need to go thru,
so as we could appreciate what we obtain..
hard,
tough,
shd i give up?
Have i not done enuff?
for my family?
frens?
studies?
and all my everything?
i apologise for everything that's not enuff,
i would work harder..
i really would..

And for the meet the parents session,
it was like so disastrous,
imagine if i need to...
but i almost need to meet..
and i dunno how mummy n daddy will feel bout my results,
coz i was one of the strongest among the cohort,
and i'm now barely passing..
how could i face them..?
and,
how much could i have done?
and how much could i have not done..

Sometimes,
it's hard to be strong,
it's hard..
when u r so weak inside..
i am vulnerable,
easily hurt,
and being very emotional..
i noe myself,
i noe i couldn't take it if it hits directly into my heart,
but yet,
i still take it with a smile..
Faker?
no..
i just dun wanna hurt anyone anymore,
if that strikes onli me,
i dun mind,
i would suffer myself,
and hope others would not realise,
and smile on..
it's hard to be strong,
and yet,
i'm trying to be..
I have to be strong,
i'm depending and being depend on..
i noe i need to be strong..
but i just can't somehow sometime..
i just,
wanna apologise if i can't be strong,
and finally show my weak side..
I smile even when i got hit,
just to get things over,
and i love those around me,
and hope that smile would just help me cover my feelings,
so that they are not really worrying bout me..
i'm sorry if i'm being selfish,
but i just wanna see u all smile..

and the skies are always so beautiful,
the clouds,
the sunset.
the everything in this world,
it just makes life so beautiful..

Happy BirthdaY Hui Quan~~

Mood: Happy, Extremely Happy..

=)
It was birthday for HuiQuan,
mua buddy..
Happy Birthday HuiQuan!!!
was a long and tiring day..
but it was amazing..

I noe it mean a lot when something u dislike took away such a great day..
i noe how it feels for a birthday,
and i noe,
how much birthday means to us..

it's a time to gather and celebrate,
it's a time to look forward to present which we dun usually get,
it's a time to smile and laugh,
and it's a time to realise some broken frenship being repaired,
and some frenships being forged..

it meant a lot to me..
so yup,
i want it to be superb to u,
my dear buddy..
i hope i managed to make ur day wonderful.
coz,
my birthday is always too early,
and by the time people get to know me,
it's always too late..
i think my b'day celebrations are mostly postponed,
coz of Orientation,
and i realise,
on the day itself makes so much difference..
=)
Birthday,
means a lot to me,
coz i always wanted a party,
wanted my frens to celebrate with me,
but i still dun have the fund to organize such a party,
ya,
sad,
i am,
but yup,
i still always get presents,
small,
big,
belated,
on time,
it still shows so much bout my frens care..
This year,
mum n dad also forgot my b'day..
it's just seem,
i didn't have one complete b'day before.. =x

Hui Quan,
i hope the big bear would serve as a hug from the 13 of us,
and no matter wat,
i'll be there..
=)
i hope the entire day was filled with suspense,
and,
a lot of unpredictable stuffs..
and i hope it cheered u up..
Even CO is taking over like part of ur b'day,
i hope u enjoyed the rest of the day..
coz everyone's so happy and with full blessings to u..

A day with anonymous,
A day with shocking huge present,
A day with laughter,
A day with questions,
A day with anxiety,
A day with fear,
A day with happiness,
A day with stuns..
I think basically all emotions came in for the day..
and practically i wanna say sorry,
for bringing up ur saddening experience,
by giving u hope and stuff..
but yup,
i felt bad..
Sorry..

And i felt really lost to see u so troubled..
i'm so sorry coz we are not supposed to let u noe,
until the end of the day..
i'm sorry,
u were so worried on ur b'day..
i'm sorry for those shitty moments..
but then again,
that makes up all the fun..
dunno whether u cried coz u r touch or not,
but it wasn't the very very perfect birthday we could give u,
but i hope it would be good enuff for u..
=)
and bout ur sis,
i felt kinda sad bout it,
coz i realise i didn't do much for my brother either..
i felt the same way as ur sis,
like i nv gave such birthday to my family members either..
tell her,
it's not bout how much we could give u,
it's bout how much we are willing to give u..
i believe,
she would even give up her life in those emergency moments..
=)
and there's nothing stronger than Kinship..

I went to Esplanade,
for my first time,
and for my first time again,
to enjoy and orchestra performance..
it was wonderful,
the feeling in the auditorium,
and i wanted to go so badly to a performance,
and this is my first..
thanks HuiQuan..
=)
and i've started to like Chinese Orchestra instruments even more,
expecially Yang Qin, Di Zi, Zhong Hu, and GuZheng..
they were wonderful..
and i finally realise how ZhiHan found the passion in Chinese Orchestra..
=)

Dinner with HuiQuan's family was kinda cool,
me and eddie,
LOL,
had create laughter to them..
And HuiQuan's father remember me as the Peacock laughter..
LOL..
but ya,
hope i cherished their day also =)

On the Way home,
was with eddie talking bout hostel..
and true,
Parry Hall wasn't tat good as Oldham..
i should be blessed i was once in Oldham,
and now in Parry,
coz there are worse hostels..
but then again,
this difference in hostel standards,
made us compare,
but yup,
no matter how much we compare,
we feel worse,
and i've learn to take things as they are..
Parry Hall,
a deprovement of hostel standard,
but then,
in exchange i gain so much,
like a bonded class,
a wonderful school with wonderful teachers..
i'm blessed,
really i do feel blessed..
i really have not much to ask for..
ya..
life is wonderful enuff.. =)

=) Happy Day =)

Mood: Happy + grateful

"HUIQUAN SAYS AM A NAUGHTY BOY
=)
which is SO TRUE
i bully her everyday
poor girl
so nice yet always get bullied by me
i feel so guilty"
these are all HuiQuan's word...
LOL
she KNOWS HOW I FEEL!!!
lol,
i'm so happy coz i get to laugh at her everyday..
WHAHAHAHHAHAH =)
shall not censor any part.. LOL =)

Lalala..
finished Chem Lecture and Tut Qns..
=)
so happy.
left RJC P3..
Stupid =)
but ya,
will do it tml =)
erm,
going to do econs in a while =)
lol..
was quite a nice day =)
and voting for prom king and queen was so fun =)
LOL
and QUANG failed to be the PROM KING
but TEKI who's supposed to sabo ppl,
GOT SABO-ed..
LOL
=)
so our PROM KING : Steven Henry,
PROM QUEEN : Regina =)

Chat with Mummy,
heard that she found 2 more extra tuition classes..
=)
and finally i heard her laughter =)
yes..
i'm so happy.!!
coz
i'm ur child MUMMY,
whenever u r unhappy,
i am worried =X
so yup,
heard ur laughter,
and u r kinda still pessimistic,
but MUM!! u need more time..
u need more rest =D
aiya,
less class means u got more rest lor,
dun be a workaholic can??
we are worried bout u =)
and hmm..
be grateful coz u got 2 classes in so short period =)
so yup,
dun worry la..
There's always a blessing in disguise =)
and yup,
it's so glad to talk to u,
the happy u~~
thanks daddy for being there for mummy all this while too =)
and i love u all at home,
of coz daddy,
mummy,
kor kor.. =)
yup..
i'm so blessed with all of u =)
who has mould me for who i am Today =)
xD
miss home,
miss home cook food ><
and
am glad for everything that happened today =)
thanks =)

Pain..

Pain everywhere..
OMG,
i've learnt that there's always a price for us to pay,
for every single thing we gain..
yup,
and for tat,
i need to suffer this muscle ache,
which would be much better i believe =)
but yup,
the joy,
the class bonding,
the smiles,
and everything gained would be much much more worth while =)
dun mind with this stupid pain,
but yup,
it's like my worst..
but ya,
i'll bear with it,
and yup,
=)

hmm.. feeling weird with Nic nowadays..
maybe it's this study period and the results are really killing everyone,
but yup,
we will work hard towards ALevels rite?
so jiayou,
=)

4 X 100... Nostalgic..

4X100m today,
Nostalgic,
reminds me off what we have in secondary school,
coz of my gifted legs,
was force to some stupid trainings,
and participating in 4X100m events,
for district and also the state..
LOL,
was darn funny coz i'm the 5th in school,
so i always get to be the reserved =)
so yup,
didn't get down to the track most of the time,
but ya,
when i was down on the track today,
that nervous came back,
it was so nostalgic,
so familiar yet so scary,
but yup,
got to manage it,
ya..
fear,
coz i wan to run my best..

i wanted ppl to kinda noe,
that councilor is not ppl who doesn't play sports,
joins onli..
but ya,
i'm one of them,
used to be from the track and field..
but ya,
msia standard?
we dun usually train,
we run,
for just running,
what we have is gifted,
not much training,
and i timing was like 12.7 the best..

On wednesday,
i ran 100m personally,
and i think i didn't get into the finals..
but yup,
at least,
that day,
a lot of ppl was shocked,
that i could run..
that council is not made of people that are "weak" in their mindset..
aihz,
dunno,
like i felt people always have the mindset that,
we councilor are those who are onli good in paperwork and talk cock,
NO LOR..
sorry..
=)
but yup,
i could run,
i could play v-ball,
badminton, squash....
=)

Today,
i had became the limelight..
which i didn't really like after stepping down from council,
but i noe i will always be in the limelight,
coz every1 will still look at the 31st and point finger at us,
he/she from 31st..
yup,
bout limelight,
i was wearing red,
3rd baton,
and i spread the gap from the rest..
and,
they notice me coz of my red council camp tee..
i didn't plan all this,
but it's just coincidence that we are wearing the red tee today..
ya..
and they say i'm the red dot that ran freaking fast..
ya true,
but without HongZuo, TeckWei, ChoonLian,
it wasn't even possible..
it's a team event,
so yup,
i need to thank them for everything,
i really love the race,
and the trainings,
when a few of the classmates spend their time with us,
when they can choose to go back..
=) thanks a lot..

Anyway,
we did very well,
yup,
1st,
but really,
i'm so sorry to steal all the limelight..
i'm sorry,
i dun wan it..
but ya,
no matter which baton i'm going to hold,
ppl will still keep staring at me..
SHIT MAN!!
but yup,
we are still,
one team..
=)
and i think i made council proud =)
of coz,
pegasus too...
and not forgetting,
0816!!! =)

I love this feeling,
these laughters,
these smiles,
these moments,
and these times..
spent with those i love =)
i'm so happy,
that today it's a wonderful day..
Thanks for creating such a day~~
=)

To Hua Keat =)

"CW,
you have much freedom since I know you,
you know how to manage your time well,
you know when to study and when to have fun,
and you manage all your relationship pretty well.
I wish I could be a part of you."

ok,
i read ur blog,
and found this very similar to me..
i assume,
CW is me.. LOL
coz i kinda long nv use my Chin Wei,
was using my English name Stevenn..
until,
CW,
sounds like me.. LOL
=)

Anyway,
main point is,
the grass is always greener on the other side..
=)
in a way,
i have something more than u,
but in fact,
u wud have something more than me..
there's always a balance in this world..
and i do think that i'm very privileged,
am very lucky to have learnt a lot,
i had freedom,
ya,
kinda true,
but wat was in return,
was the results,
and trust,
and a lot more..
i noe it was kinda hard for some of u,
when u r kinda admire at what i have...
and u nv realise u have so much we dun have..
u r the only boy in ur family,
and u r well-protected,
and everything goes straight to u first =)
in ur family,
u r counted lucky =)
sometimes,
u just dun realise it,
but in fact,
u have it but,
u r not contented i shd say =)

ever since this while i'm in Singapore,
i learnt a lot..
i dunno,
but mostly is because of my openness..
i accept things i think it's true,
and would try to reject things,
and learn,
and change,
and be better..
maybe situation has forced me to this way..
yup =)
You can always learn too =)
like anytime in this world =)
and learning will never stop,
coz u will need to face more different people from different walks of life..
=)
so yup,
keep learning,
jiayou~~

bout the time management,
i think it's the maturity..
when u experience it,
and u got it hard,
then,
u'll learn it..
i got it from the hard way,
by losing my grandaunt,
and that's it,
coz i wasn't managing time well for my grandaunt,
and there i learned..
and there it helped me sets my priorities,
and i noe when to study and when to play,
and coz i'm not that kinda bookworm as u noe,
coz i noe,
sometimes,
studies is not the thing that really determines ur life..
rite?
=)
u have other aspects of life,
u have a lot more..
=)

Managing my relationship,
again,
i think it's the same experience,
grandaunt,
and when u lose some1,
u learnt,
to express,
to show care and concern,
to really love..
i nv really noe wat's love until then,
tot love was something superficial,
nv noe love could be so strong,
use to think that suicidal cases due to love matters was silly,
until i realise the power of love,
the will to protect someone,
the will to make someone happy,
the will for the sake of everything for that someone..
i now learnt to appreciate for whoever i am,
whoever i have,
and i am sensitive towards others feeling,
and being expressive..
True heart,
is what u need to search for frens,
even though u would be very vulnerable,
but that's the exchange =)
"To ka Kou ka"
in Full Metal Alchemist,
the equilibrium trade..
=)

Bout competition,
aihz,
it's like wat d shit.. LOL
ok,
i shall say competition is healthy to a certain extent..
i dun like competition,
not even in secondary schools..
used to compare,
until i realise wat's more important..
competition,
makes ppl more selfish,
makes ppl more self-centered,
wicked,
and watever that can make a person win..
so,
competition,
it's not my cup of tea,
get far away from me!!
lol,
can always use self-motivation
and,
u noe ur closer frens are the one who can influence u to study..
and when u realise,
when u really got that matured mindset,
u wud settle down to study..
u wud be composed,
calmed,
rationale,
and u wud miss home..
=)
yup,
that's the indication of u being matured =)
lol..
anyway,
just hope that u dun feel that bad la..
and i really hope u wud smile..
always learn with an open heart,
learn to stand up after falling,
but while lying the floor,
find sometime to rest and reflect,
before u get onto ur feet and run again,
k?
=)
i'm always here =)
willing to listen to u ya~~

Admire,
but dun get jealous,
coz u always have ur own strength,
and ppl have their own weaknesses..
and from ppl's strength,
u try to learn,
and try to improve ur weaknesses =)
yaya?

JiaYou~~
=)
love from a buddy~
Venn.. =)

My Box...

I opened the box,
all are the memories,
including
Magnum ice cream stick,
ring,
the colour tape with words,
squash ball with 3 staples,
Chang Jiang No 7,
small little notes,
the book,
CDs,
letter..
and so forth..
i wonder,
how many ppl would keep these things..
ya,
it seems minute,
but they mean alot..
to me..
Magnum Stick,
lol,
was the 1st time i ate ice cream with Rud i think =)
Ring,
which was given by Drew,
nv wore it coz it's gonna spoil..
Colour tape with words,
written by inez to me =)
Squash ball
Joey gave me,
at first i saw it n i liked it,
she gave me to cheer me up..
=)
small little notes i made with Jun and Ivan, Thong and the rest..
Chang Jiang No7
when diana bought for the whole class,
where everyone gets 1..

The book..
is wat tat strikes me..
i remember the moments i ask my frens to write in the book
and it was how they feel
how they bout me,
and advice..
aihz..
that moment,
i was caught,
i was lost
i still remember it well..
reading the words,
i missed those chinese words we use..
i missed those moments they mention in it..
and suddenly,
it's like my mind r running all those memories..
i miss home,
i miss sitiawan,
=)

the CDs..
all with different dedication to different frens,
especially to ChunYen and Drew..
argh..
i miss those moments..

and i read the letter i wrote
that was kinda a small note for my frens to read b4 writing in the book,
and it seems like very cheem,
the chinese..
LOL,
i didn't remember my chinese being that good,
mayb,
i've just lost touch with chinese..
ya,
but i really really really miss those moments..
OMG..
arh,
emo-ing again..

by the way,
i'm glad,
to stay up till 2 am every nite,
to study,
coz i have Quan accompanying me..
thanks man!! =)
and i'm wearing the ring and Drew gave me again,
coz i miss the frenship we had..
and i will try not to take things for granted,
everything happens for a reason,
which we usually don't noe,
and i realise,
Rud has not been sleeping well and can be seen from his eyes..
rest well rud,
and rest well Quan..
Nitez..
Thanks the world for what it happens...

100m.. My Memories..

busy term 3..
kinda killing me..
=(
but yup,
today,
i went for the 100m sprint Heat..
lol..
was so unprepared..
didn't noe was today,
and still need Quan to go home to get a change for me,
and i even need to borrow Mr Lim's shoes..
LOL..
but ya,
was kinda fun,
and i think a lot of people got a shock,
coz they usually think i'm weak,
and i wun be able to do physical stuff like tat..
and becoz mayb i'm a councilor,
that kind of weak and can only speaks..
but nah,
that's so not me,
i'm more on the pragmatic side,
i can run =)
and 100m was my track and field event last time..
=)
and it was totally the same feeling..
like i kinda got burned from deep inside due to the nervousness..
and kinda scary LOL,
Quan still recorded my run..
and i think she was kinda realise i can run fast =)
lol..
and i'm no longer the councilor,
that deceived to bring welfare to the school population,
what we can do,
we have done..
and i'm who i am now..
still a councilor,
but with more of my own element..
=)
i miss the moments in 100m in Msia,
like the Penang trip,
where we stayed over in Taiping,
where we didn't train and hoping to get good results..
=)
and i really hope,
it would be just an event i love,
not bout winning,
but gaining much more experience and
memories would just flow into me..
i still suck at the moment it starts,
coz i can't grasp the timing =x
but yup,
i did quite well..
xD
10.35 s for 80 meters,
that means i would be like 12.5s for 100m..
=)
lol,
still maintain my speed..
and i miss the moments..
although i sprained my arm,
i put in my fullest effort =)
hope,
everything's cool =)

ya,
getting emo-ed for some reason,
i jus can't find a suitable song for myself now.
maybe,
Pachabel's Canon in D major would be nice..
=)
jiayou~~

Life Sucks..

Finally Econs result came out..
was expecting to do well but eventually,
it's another U grade..
like omg..
was kinda have confidence in Econs,
and apparently,
i still failed..
ya..
was 4 fails out of 5 results..
onli Chem barely survived.
i wonder is it me only?
or is it the entire cohort..
i'm doing freaking bad..
and i'm kinda disappointed..
wat a life..
and
i finally realise,
it is stressful to survive in singapore =x
ya
missed those days when i dun need to really mug to get my A's..
now,
even no matter how much i mug,
it wud still be the same if i cannot apply it correctly..
i'm worried bout my A Levels..
i am..

and was woken up by an sms,
"we cannot meet up..."
and i was looking forward for that gathering..
aihz,
disappointment..
currently not really ok,
but hope i get over it..
"Life Sucks"
quote from Quan,
but yup,
smile coz it sucks...

Keat..

LOL,
i tot today would not be a very good day to blog,
coz i basically has nothing much to say,
until,
ya
i saw HuaKeat's blog =)
yup..
n u r the reason i blog today =)

Keat,
i've been calling u since we were close i think,
wonder u would remember it or not..
LOL
i miss those crazy days we had during our sec 1 and 2,
where i keep going to ur house to play games,
to spend time..
coz that period of time,
i'm lonely,
i was..
yup,
thanks to u,
we became close frens, =)
and i'm gonna miss those moments,
where i left my tshirt on the sofa..
and ur mum found out i went over to ur place!!
LOL
=)

those were the moments man,
like i miss them so much,
cycling to school,
rushing here and there..
LOL,
and i really miss those moments..
=)
remember the singing competition?
hua chan n u were singing,
and i was trying to teach LOL
when i can't even sing properly =)
yet,
that was the moment we smiled and laugh over my voice,
and huachan's out of tune =)
lol..
i miss those mischievous moments,
and those chit chat,
when we were so close to each other ..
until,
Sec3.
yup,
we start to talk less and less..
and we are kinda torn apart..
and i seldom hang out with u,
and we have not much common topics..
yet,
i believe,
this frenship would not die so easily =)
i love the moments we spent..
even it's just the tiny slight moment,
it brought laughter..

Keat,
u r not quiet,
u r passive,
u said..
yup,
it's true..
u need to change it =)
if u really dislike it.
i think it's good to be expressive,
and it's also good to be reserved.
up to u =)
coz if being to expressive,
u would be easily hurt,
coz u r very vulnerable when u speak too much.
I'm the example u can clearly see,
where i keep on emo-ing and stuff,
but yet,
that's how i get myself closer to my frens..
being reserved is cool too,
yup,
dun share much,
but listening to others,
and at the same time,
u must be sincere =)
and then,
u would fine urself different =)
anyway
i think,
friendship circle would kinda end when we have our own family,
so before that,
if it's possible,
find a few more soul mate,
find a few more close friends =)
and it would last forever...

Keat,
sorry if i ever hurt u intentionally or unintentionally,
sorry for kinda neglecting the frenship we forged..
yup,
but now,
i'm sure,
the both of us will hang on to this frenship,
and wud not let it end rite? =)
u r my buddy,
it's just i nv realised it..
u r always my buddy =)
Friends Forever,
promise?
=)

The Pledge, The Promise, I've Fulfilled...

We, the NYJC Student Council,
do hereby pledge that
We will discharge our duties to the best of our abilities,
that we will conduct ourselves with honour and dignity,
And that we will devote ourselves to the service of this College.

Thinking back of the days being a student councilor,
that was so much fun,
so much things to learn..
yet,
Our term is over..
but what we have learnt will remain..
but,
i will still miss 31st Student Council..
even though we are not being heard anymore..
=) we will still live on,
where our love never dies... =)

0816.. my love <3

0816,
my class,
and i'm so proud of my class,
and i felt so so darn lucky to be in 0816..
i'm blessed..
=)
never had this strong class bond before..
like i never felt it before,
until i come to Nanyang JC,
like watever it is,
i think it's fated..
we are all together =)
i gonna miss u all man!!
=)

nothing much we need to say,
it's all within us,
the class spirit,
just sometimes we are idle,
sometimes we dun voice out,
but deep within us we understand..
=)

i love my class hell lot,
having Service Learning today,
freaking glad i went,
and i love doing stuffs together as a class =)
we cleaned the floor in early morning,
outside of TAKASHIMAYA,
wat a great joke LOL
but yet,
we still enjoy =)
and like every thing we did,
we are so happy,
we look out for each other,
whether who has not eaten breakfast,
sharing pieces of cookies.. =)
i dunno why,
i just felt so touched,
and feel so belong to this class..
Ever since i came to this class,
i felt very blessed..
=)
sorry class..
last year i was kinda haunted to go to school,
coz of cca and contradiction and stuff.
but now,
0816 is my reason to school..
i love the gathering in canteen every morning,
i love those teasings..
i love those lame jokes,
i love each and everyone of us with the different personalities.
we are people from different walks of lives,
viewing life differently,
yet,
we are still together but not dispersed into cliques,
due to this difference..
i dunno how to explain much further,
it's just this sense of belonging to 0816..
even if we play sports,
even those who don't really play,
would even drop by to watch those playing,
and even laugh at them..
i love 0816 to the max..
never knew that 24 people in a class with out psycho could be so bonded..
never knew that would happen
and i'm so blessed...
thanks for this arrangement =)

like hong zuo said
"we always have unarranged outings.."
we just go out,
and there it goes,
it's an outing..
LOL
and HuiQuan's correct too..
"our class just need to sit down together,
then we can laugh our ass off!!"
lol,
like we just gather,
and we can talk cock,
bull shit,
and yeah,
we laugh like so happily,
it's like a family already man!!
today's outing
it's like 19 of us..
it's the most of us for once the outing..
i really love being with u all..

0816,
let's stay strong,
watch each other's back k?
pat on each other and encourage each other,
help each other,
and we work towards A levels..
k?
=)
love 0816 forever,
like i never loved a class before..
i really love 0816..
=)
i'm so glad,
and i'm hyped up to see u all,
so happy to go to school,
even though we get screwed always =)
yet
we stay strong =)
and i love it this way =)
*contented,
blessed,
happy,
satisfied*
that's wat i'm feeling,
what else could i complain for such a nice class?
Nothing =)
Love 0816~~

Gabbie... and ECP...

Today was a kinda mixed up feeling..
but yup,
felt much better..
Gabbie has to leave us..
to stay with his uncle,
coz ya.. result..
It's hard,
but we will still meet up rite?
and we had lotz of chit chat at Serangoon park,
which i nv even been to even though it's so near..
LIKE OMG!!
i didn't even noe it exists o.0
lol
but yup,
finally been there,
to chat =)

Then,
i met Quan in school,
coz i promised to go out with her to the beach..
yup,
to try to throw out everything kept within us,
all those bad stuff,
yup,
to find time to throw it all away!!!
and finally,
East Coast Park,
we finally went there..
The feeling of being at the beach,
make me so freaking good..
i wonder,
how's Quan feeling rite now =)
i love going to the beach..
i love the sea..
so much has happened.
so much..
even kor poh's ashes are set free into the sea..
argh.
Sea..
my memory..
my favourite..
yet,
i'm still afraid of sea =x
yup,
but the best is still within it..

Today,
in the bus,
i met Nic at Paya Lebar..
like OMG?
so coincidence?
i think it's pure fate..
like so cool man,
like how could it be this coincidence,
like 1 min later then we would not meet,
but like we freaking meet..
LOL
=)
yup,
seeing u cheered me up =)
lol
like wat u said,
noe u will support me.. =)

Quan and I had Mos for lunch,
2 huge freaking milk tea,
lol =)
and i love the burger =)

It was kind of a Science Trip and i became the teacher..
LOL =)
yup
we saw a man catching worm on the beach,
was damn cool,
and i'm amused man,
like kinda easy =)
lol,
just some prawn "juice"
then see the movement of the sand,
and pluck it out,
that's all ..
so cool..

We picked up sea shells..
i was kinda picky coz i've seen much more unique shells,
but yup,
it's kinda hard to find beautiful seashells coz it's artificial beach..
LOL,
but yup,
we still found a few beautiful ones,
like the "butterfly" that's wat i called it =)
and a lot more..
kinda great shells we picked up.. =)
and we stared at a Lala so that it will move,
but apparently it dun wan to x.x
so,
i got my pants wet for nothing..
like wat d heck..
LOL
=)
yup,
and i still build The Great Wall by Stevenn,
and the "Nile River"
LOL =)

then we had some theraphy by small fishes biting Quan's leg..
saw a dead jellyfish.
and Quan was so amazed..
lol
kinda norm to me,
but yup,
we had some lessons =)
lol,
like we poked it,
and its support system is hydrostatic..
lol
Quan named it "Jello"
we buried it,
RIP JELLO..

LOL
we talked bout coconut tree..
"like why is it slanting towards the sea..
since the breeze is blowing towards the land"
Quan asked..
my conclusion is,
coconut tree grows at nite!!
coz land breeze at nite blows from the land to the sea,
LOL..
wat a lame conclusion
=)
how far it's true,
i gotta check =)

Sea..
Beach..
Breeze..
we had long chat and walk on the sea shore.
like it was damn fun,
like everything has just being blown away by the wind,
left was all the happiness,
and contentment,
and memories..
I remember that moment when my bro release the ashes of kor poh into the sea..
i remember the scene..
i really do..
i miss kor poh..
and,
i remember lotz of things at the beach..
Chatting with XueYen and promises made,
Taking photo in suit and gown outside Orient Star Hotel during Installation,
Chatting with ChunYen Kaizia Fred Meichern and soforth
spending time with the Anderson Leos by the beach..
like those moments are so precious
yup..
and i miss those moments..
=)
and now i would miss the times spent with Quan,
and also the class outing last year.. =)
arh..

I LOVE THE SEA =)


i miss kor poh...
forever..

Disappointment..

Finally,
it's my time to be Emo..
i've been smiling,
i've been trying to keep it positive,
but today,
i, myself got affected..
it was when physics p3 came back..
17.5 over 80,
and it's like badly failed..
argh..
i noe that would happen..
coz i had not much time for physics..
but yet,
even though i've spent time on other subjects,
it still appears to be the same,
like it's so badly done..
USES,
this is wat i have rite now as my grades,
where S and U indicate fail..
What to do?
like i tried my best in chem,
i wanted an A,
i really do,
but argh..
and Math..
i practised,
i tried my best,
apparently i still fail..
argh..
Wat's this man..
it's like the worst results ever..
argh,
i'm tired man..
even though i've tried so hard..
maybe it's not enuff..
i noe,
i will do my best..
Sms-ed mum bout this disappointment,
and mummy replied that dun worry,
mum and dad always behind u to support u..
argh..
i felt so touched and motivated..
i shall,
start studying..
i find studying so enjoying rite now..
i love going school..
i love lessons..
i love my class..

and around me,
i'm grateful,
for whoever i have..
I've always thinking that in some of my frenship,
i'm demanding too much,
i need the fren more than he/she needs me..
but it turned out,
i'm needed,
silently..
and i'm a support to them,
a place to really talk when problems come,
and to really share problems and joy..
yup,
i maybe much more expressive,
which makes me feel like i'm talking most of the time..
yup..
frenship,
no nid to be perfectly equal in the giving and taking..
the most important is the willingness to sacrifice for each other..
and not thinking bout the repay,
not bout how much u give or take,
it's how much u are willing to put in for that particular frenship..
i learnt it from Nic,
like seeing me in toilet,
and he noes i'm around to support him,
jus that short seconds where we met in the toilet,
would be much enuff..
i used to think best frens need to spent lotz of time to bond,
but yup,
this is the frenship i believe in..
i would put in my effort =)
and some of those frens whom i'm close with,
these promises need not be made,
coz it has been silently made between our hearts,
between our soul..
Friends Forever..

Life..

Life's so UNPREDICTABLE..
Pn Ho Chew Siah,
has just passed away today,
on my dad's birthday..
Argh..
wat a day..
was supposed to be a happy day,
yet,
it's ok..
We tot Pn Has all the while ok,
like she has returned to teach us and
she was perfectly fine from her appearance,
and yet,
Cancer took over her,
and she lost..
Rest in Peace Pn Ho..
You are the Science Teacher we loved so much,
thanks for everything..

I heard bout 2012,
Apocalypse..
Dooms Day..
Like another 3 years,
this world will end..
is it true?
i'm kinda worried..
i love my life,
i love it even more now.
but if it's like 3 years,
what can i do?
how would afterlife be like?
how would everything be?
argh..
sometimes,
things just kept me thinking..
and i wonder,
what would the world be after i leave this world,
how would i be?
where would i go..
and will i meet every1 i met again?

Sometimes,
we take things for granted,
like we are still young..
who noes what might happen to us tml..
who noes some1 around us would just leave us tml..
*TOUCH WOOD*
but yet,
we take everyday with a dragging feet,
like we are tired of life,
indeed we are sometimes,
but we shd be able to keep up the pace..
Life isn't just suffering..
If it's just suffering,
then it would be hell..
there's always a reason for us to smile in our lives..
just look around,
even though we are at our deepest valley,
there's always rays of hope..
coz our Creator wouldn't create a path that leads us to a dead end..
it's all well-planned..
and we need to be grateful..
that would make life much better,
to be contented,
to be satisfied,
to be loved,
to love..
and to do stuffs we like..
Always,
i like to have a smile on my face..
it cheers ppl up..
it really do..
and when i smile to ppl,
i get back a smile..
Yup,
it's just so natural,
the feeling is like so mutual,
and it help cheers up the atmosphere..
i love to smile..
i love ppl who smile..
especially from the bottom of their heart..
=)
thanks for my frens who has always keep me smiling,
always gives me a reason to smile,
and always make me feel good with ur smiles..
=)
thanks..

Today onwards,
i shall cherish my life even more,
even though i dunno how,
but i will find my way..
Glad to see that nic acknowledged me in his blog..
Even though it's like so short,
but yup,
i will really support u Nic..
Buddies forever,
even though u will try ur best,
i would put in even more effort..
i hope to chat with u
and i hope u will cheer up..
i miss chatting with u
and i really mean it =)

We had a kinda awkward moment,
like i think it was a wrong topic,
made Quan and i in weird mood..
i should be sensitive enuff,
and i should now how bad it would affect u Quan..
sorry ya,
and i'm so sorry..
i will still tell u stuff i think,
i will =)
somehow..
glad we are fine=)
nice ice cream we had =)
and i love chatting with u!!!!

Had movie with ZhanPeng,April,Catherine,Benny,MingHan..
was kinda fun,
lol,
sorry ZhanPeng..!!
for i-noe-what
LOL
=)
really had great time with u all.. enjoyed a lot
eventhough the freaking movie is kinda disappointing =)
but yup,
time spent together is much more significant =)

Tml will be a brand new day,
i mean today..
LOL
i shall cherish my day =)
i love my life,
i love school
and i'm gonna miss this world when i die,
i really will =D
so yup,
i shall make full use of my life =)

Happy Birthday Daddy.

It's 16th July..
Happy Birthday Daddy.. =)
i'm sorry for not being able to celebrate ur birthday with u..
even though we dun really emphasise in celebrating birthday,
i still love birthdays coz there's cakes,
parties,
smiles,
laughter..
I wanted a birthday party very badly,
I love cakes..
I love birthdays..
Daddy,
i love u a lot..
and i'm missing home right now..
i wonder how mummy's doing..
ya i noe it's hard,
but yup,
there's always a way to every problem,
so worry not k?

Daddy,
hmm..
i love u a lot
and i remember how u fetch me out to town
like when i was so small..
and i can't even fully hug ur belly..
until when i was in secondary school,
i realise u r always there to protect me..
and u r there to block the rain,
to shield me from the rain while fetching me on the bike..
i took it for granted,
until i ride my own motorbike,
until i got hit by the raindrops..
only i realise,
u r always shielding me..
and after korpoh has left us,
u r the one who really take care of our welfare =)
like my lunch,
my breakfast and my every meal,
u really took care of it and make sure,
there is something for us to eat..
and daddy,
i'm so glad to have u.
like u dun really demand a lot,
and u have low expectation,
yet u r very firm..
Dad,
i'm glad to have u.
really =)
i love u so much...
hope u enjoy this day,
ur birthday..
Mum promise me to go out for a meal with u..
so yup,
cherish ya =)
lol..
and take care of mummy..
Thanks daddy for everything,
and sorry for everything i've taken it for granted..
once again,
Happy birthday Daddy!!!

Apologise

Listening to Apologise...
A lot of things running in my mind..
like bout my midyears result,
like bout how helpless i am to my buddy,
like bout how i'm kinda a disappointment the other day,
like bout what i'm gonna do for SL tml,
like bout how i'm not spending much time with Rud,
like bout how i miss my close frens now..
like bout how regretful i am for some mistakes that cannot be changed..
like bout how much i miss my hometown frens..
like bout how i miss my family..
like bout how i miss my home..

Argh..
Midyears was disastrous..
=)
Mrs Huang approached me,
and said i need to work more..
I did put in a lot of effort in chem,
ya but apparently,
it's a worthless effort..
aihz..
maybe i'm not very very familiar bout wat i studied,
but yup.. aihz..
i did my best for mid years..
sorry..

Quan,
ya,
sorry coz i can't really help u..
like i'm so darn helpless now..
sorry for not being able to comfort ya,
and i was playing games just now,
didn't noe u needed an ear.
sorry..
ya i felt guilty..
and apparently,
i can't do much,
not even talk to u properly..
coz i'm kinda down in my mood..
sorry..

Jamie,
bout the outing,
sorry ya,
i didn't noe everyone's going..
and at first i kinda dun give a damn..
coz it's like a gathering and i got no messages..
i didn't noe it meant so much..
and i was in sensitive..
sorry..

About Service Learning,
like tml,
i'm empty-minded,
i dunno what's going to happen,
or what are we doing..
and to Hannah,
i didn't really help u in SL,
like i had lots of experience in organising SL,
but apparently,
in Singapore,
i felt kinda clueless to start something like tat..
and i didn't even try to help u..
ya..
sorry..

Rud,
these few days,
omg,
i spend so little time with u..
i noe u wun be reading my blog,
but deep inside me,
i really love u man, my buddy..
like u iron school uniform when i didn't do it the nite before..
like u r always there to offer hugs,
that makes me feel so assured,
and u never complain for my late coming back from school...
like u always been waken up by me in the midnite..
like u always back me up..
thanks buddy..
For not being to really spend time with u ..
sorry..

I miss,
lots of things,
even if i have just spent time with them,
i still miss them..
like my classmates,
like 31st,
which i'm gonna meet tomolo,
like Nic,
like Lou,
like Mushy,
like HuiQuan,
like RJ..
like Rud..
even though some i may have just talked to,
or some i've just met today,
or some is just beside me,
i still miss them,
they really mean a lot to me..
and,
if i kinda neglect how u all feeling,
coz sometimes when i get too close to u,
i tend to take things for granted,
like i'm insensitive and stuff..
if i ever made u angry or annoyed,
sorry..

A lot of things,
i've done,
a lot..
really a lot..
that made ppl angry at me,
that made ppl fed up at me..
and a lot more..
like really a lot,
which is kinda inconvenient to say rite now,
like i've hurt them or annoyed them..
sorry..

Since ChunYen's sms.
i realise i seldom contact my hometown frens..
it's just when i go back,
i contact them..
that's all bout it..
like,
i didn't really like make an effort to email,
or even checking up emails..
but it's like there's this gap..
like we have no more common topic..
ya,
i noe this would happen,
but yup,
i still love u all..
like dun give up this frenship we forged k?
for not contacting u all..
sorry..

Home,
=)
i miss home..
i miss daddy, mummy and kor kor..
ya,
i miss kor poh(grand aunt)..
our home,
consist of 5 ppl,
never really felt the love daddy and mummy gave me
coz i always think they are bias-ed..
ya,
but then,
now,
i realise
being a parent isn't easy..
coz u need to care for each and every child u have..
like home,
it's one big family..
to me,
i realise the importance of home quite late..
my priorities on home is always 2nd last,
which is like before myself..
now,
home,
is one of the top list =)
like i miss home now..
and i can even cry now=)
daddy, mummy,
i love u and thanks for everything..
korkor,
thanks and i love u =)
for wat we fight, for wat we argued,
i still love u..
Home,
there's no where i rather be..
i miss home..
and for realising the importance so late,
for hurting ur heart, mummy,
for being so naive, daddy,
for being so insenstive, korkor,
sorry..

Apologise,
Sorry is not the hardest word..
why put that ego so high?
Sorry..
Sorry..
Sorry..
Thanks for happening in my life =)

Reflections? hmm.. =)

OmG,
i can't believe Mid Years has over...
now,
it's the time to wait for results..]
i know is scary..
yup..
=x
like i'm not doing very well..
yup,
didn't really put much effort also..
so even if i get bad results..
that explains all..
x.x
but by the way,
i'm satisfy coz i did try to study.. =)
like before exam with Nic,
and with HuiQuan..
yup..
=x
lol..
i gonna miss this study period and i hope i would do much more..
like after school,
i wanna stay back to study...
yup,
i wan tat to be my life =)
i like that kind of slight stress life =)
i shall start doing a lot of tutorials..
and do lotz of practice to prepare myself for Pre-lims..
hmm.. i hope i will do well by As.
yup =)

By the way,
today had a freaking nice day with my class..
Like damn nice la =)
lol..
like 15 of us went to watch Ice Age 3
it was freaking fun,
like we laugh our asses off in the cinema,
like who cares =)
LOL..
i love mua class..
and this is wat keeps me going to school =)
supportive classmates..
=)
we played pool and bowling..
like hell fun.
i really enjoy the times we had..
i really do..
omg..
Spent meals with u all..
shared the stress we felt for MYE,
and then talk bad bout teachers.. LOL..
so fun..
and talked bout game,
shared moments together,
with Prae, my darling =)
lol..
dun mistaken..
that's how i call her =)
i miss all of u..
argh.. i'm gonna miss these times we spent..
can we stay forever?
can we keep in touch forever?
it's hard,
i noe.
but..
i really want this to carry on..
i gonna miss all of u after Alevels...

today
chun yen sms-ed me just before the movie,
telling me that he miss me..
like always,
he calls me baka..
yup,
i'm baka..
actually i miss u too..
i still love those few songs we both shared..
" One more time, One more chance"
"Fukaimori"
and a lot more..
these are songs we shared,
i will nv forget man!!
lol,
i miss u,
but i really dunno how to express..
yup,
i miss the yellow flowers falling down from the trees back our class,
that was like so memorable..
how could we possibly sit down there like the other day,
observing the falling petals of the flowers,
like snowing,
and it's really so panoramic..
i miss home suddenly..
i miss alot of things rite now..
Drew, i miss u..
WanXiu, Kaizia, ZhiHan, SiewPei, SeongJin, XueYen, ChingCin,
AiMay, SuiCheng, HuaKeat, TeckCheong..
omg,
i miss u guys man..
and,
i really miss u guys..
Bel, u too.. =)
of coz,
my family members..
omg,
i hope everything' s fine..
i really hope so..
Okasan, oji chan.. =)
i miss u 2 =)
how's home?
Niisan..
how's ur work?
hmm..
omg,
i dunno wat will happen like tml,
i really miss u all =x
omg..

I think i've missed a lot of things,
and i'm kinda regretting,
and i felt bad..
Like my ottotto san,
i just lost him,
for no reason..
i noe it's my fault,
yup,
but can we even still be frens?
hmm..
i miss Nic,
and he's not replying my msg..
HuiQuan is always there for me..
she always replies my msgs..
and Rud,
he's always by my side..
what more do i want?
LOL
i'm so blessed..
i am so grateful..
i'm so thankful..
all this Fate that my creator has given me,
thanks for all the arrangement,
thanks for all the hardwork..
i really love what i have..
i really do..
i am so satisfied.
even if i have to die tml,
i think i wun regret,
coz i've already spend my life so happily..
yup..
but yet i treasure my life..

I realise life is just like an MRT train..
Ppl hop on to ur life,
gets into ur life..
u will know their presence,
and they exists..
but if they do funny things on the MRT,
u will remember them..
like some just came into ur life and really impactfully carve something in ur life..
like some ppl just exist for just being there for u.
of coz, there are culprits in ur life..
but yet,
there are ppl who leaves u,
and gets off the train..
like u wun noe when they'll hop into ur life again,
and u will never noe..
OMG..
i'm emo-ing..
i really miss alot of things..
and i really wanna treassure what i have.
but i can't do it.
i just dunno how to do it i shd say.
i dunno how to express me even further,
even more thoroughly..
but yup,
i hope my actions explain..
i hug for a reason..
coz i care,
i touch and poke u for a reason,
coz i wanna make u smile =)
and i really wan everyone beside me to be happy.
then life would be so much better =)
i love my life..
I love my journey...
i love this MRT train.. =)

Eve of Last Day of MYE

LOL..
hmm..
back to blog again..
Bel must be scolding me for not blogging..
LOL..
anyway,
was doing fine this few days..
in the midst of MYE,
lol,
still playing game,
and i still go out to study ok =)
Yup,
aihz,
studied so hard,
yet,
i'm still doing so bad.
Like OMG..
i noe how much i need to work now..
everytime i tot i've done a lot,
it seems like just the tiny bit of things i noe..
Yesh,
my life after mid years,
shd be more of studying and lesser GAMES!!
=)
anyway,
Zhan Peng sms-ed me and made a promise for
best fren forever..
ya,
the other day,
Nic also promised me that we will try our best to keep in touch..
HuiQuan,
aiya,
no need any promise one,
we will be buddies forever..
and Rudy =)
LOL,
no need =)
we noe we will not forget this frenship..
and many many more,
hmm.
i really hope to keep in touch..
=)

anyway,
went swensens today,
my 1st time,
1 for 1 meal,
damn worth it coz it's damn nice =)
had fun with class for lunch..
=)

Read Nic's blog..
kinda long since he had posted..
ya,
i like reading his blog coz it shows how he thinks..
he thinks very differently from me =)
yup,
so it's kinda nice noe-ing him..
=)
sorry nic,
coz ruin like 1 week of ur privacy..
LOL =)
it's not a bad thing to like to spend ur own time..
=)

I'm still waiting for Huiquan's blog..
=)
hmm..
bleh~~
anyway,
i spent lots of time with hui quan in this midst of MYE,
like studying in School Library,
Bishan Library..
Having breakfast in Yakun,
and lunch with class where both of us are always there..
=)
so nice having some1 to support and keep me studying..
LOL..
even though pynx think we both are ErHmmm.
LOL
yup,
we both noe =)
so, ya~~
i had great time with ya Hui Quan =)
Thanks.. Lotz...

Aihz..
I can't wait for tml,
and i can't wait for MYE to end..
On the other hand,
i want MYE to continue,
coz i like this pressure i'm having..
to force me to study..
but yup,
the 1st one is more than the 2nd one..
LOL
anyway,
tml we will be watching ICE AGE 3..
i can't wait.
OMG,
the whole cinema shall filled with laughters by me and Eddie..
LOL
=)
Eddie,
let's own the cinema tml =)
LOL
haha..
hmm..
it's 9.30pm now..
i shall mug a bit..
yup,
haven't done much for Phy..
hmm..
Jiayou ppl,
for those who have paper tml,
It's ending like less than 15 hrs =)
Jiayou!!!
=)