Apologise

Listening to Apologise...
A lot of things running in my mind..
like bout my midyears result,
like bout how helpless i am to my buddy,
like bout how i'm kinda a disappointment the other day,
like bout what i'm gonna do for SL tml,
like bout how i'm not spending much time with Rud,
like bout how i miss my close frens now..
like bout how regretful i am for some mistakes that cannot be changed..
like bout how much i miss my hometown frens..
like bout how i miss my family..
like bout how i miss my home..

Argh..
Midyears was disastrous..
=)
Mrs Huang approached me,
and said i need to work more..
I did put in a lot of effort in chem,
ya but apparently,
it's a worthless effort..
aihz..
maybe i'm not very very familiar bout wat i studied,
but yup.. aihz..
i did my best for mid years..
sorry..

Quan,
ya,
sorry coz i can't really help u..
like i'm so darn helpless now..
sorry for not being able to comfort ya,
and i was playing games just now,
didn't noe u needed an ear.
sorry..
ya i felt guilty..
and apparently,
i can't do much,
not even talk to u properly..
coz i'm kinda down in my mood..
sorry..

Jamie,
bout the outing,
sorry ya,
i didn't noe everyone's going..
and at first i kinda dun give a damn..
coz it's like a gathering and i got no messages..
i didn't noe it meant so much..
and i was in sensitive..
sorry..

About Service Learning,
like tml,
i'm empty-minded,
i dunno what's going to happen,
or what are we doing..
and to Hannah,
i didn't really help u in SL,
like i had lots of experience in organising SL,
but apparently,
in Singapore,
i felt kinda clueless to start something like tat..
and i didn't even try to help u..
ya..
sorry..

Rud,
these few days,
omg,
i spend so little time with u..
i noe u wun be reading my blog,
but deep inside me,
i really love u man, my buddy..
like u iron school uniform when i didn't do it the nite before..
like u r always there to offer hugs,
that makes me feel so assured,
and u never complain for my late coming back from school...
like u always been waken up by me in the midnite..
like u always back me up..
thanks buddy..
For not being to really spend time with u ..
sorry..

I miss,
lots of things,
even if i have just spent time with them,
i still miss them..
like my classmates,
like 31st,
which i'm gonna meet tomolo,
like Nic,
like Lou,
like Mushy,
like HuiQuan,
like RJ..
like Rud..
even though some i may have just talked to,
or some i've just met today,
or some is just beside me,
i still miss them,
they really mean a lot to me..
and,
if i kinda neglect how u all feeling,
coz sometimes when i get too close to u,
i tend to take things for granted,
like i'm insensitive and stuff..
if i ever made u angry or annoyed,
sorry..

A lot of things,
i've done,
a lot..
really a lot..
that made ppl angry at me,
that made ppl fed up at me..
and a lot more..
like really a lot,
which is kinda inconvenient to say rite now,
like i've hurt them or annoyed them..
sorry..

Since ChunYen's sms.
i realise i seldom contact my hometown frens..
it's just when i go back,
i contact them..
that's all bout it..
like,
i didn't really like make an effort to email,
or even checking up emails..
but it's like there's this gap..
like we have no more common topic..
ya,
i noe this would happen,
but yup,
i still love u all..
like dun give up this frenship we forged k?
for not contacting u all..
sorry..

Home,
=)
i miss home..
i miss daddy, mummy and kor kor..
ya,
i miss kor poh(grand aunt)..
our home,
consist of 5 ppl,
never really felt the love daddy and mummy gave me
coz i always think they are bias-ed..
ya,
but then,
now,
i realise
being a parent isn't easy..
coz u need to care for each and every child u have..
like home,
it's one big family..
to me,
i realise the importance of home quite late..
my priorities on home is always 2nd last,
which is like before myself..
now,
home,
is one of the top list =)
like i miss home now..
and i can even cry now=)
daddy, mummy,
i love u and thanks for everything..
korkor,
thanks and i love u =)
for wat we fight, for wat we argued,
i still love u..
Home,
there's no where i rather be..
i miss home..
and for realising the importance so late,
for hurting ur heart, mummy,
for being so naive, daddy,
for being so insenstive, korkor,
sorry..

Apologise,
Sorry is not the hardest word..
why put that ego so high?
Sorry..
Sorry..
Sorry..
Thanks for happening in my life =)