Stressed..

It has been a stressful period..
Indeed,
A levels is stressful..
Yup,
i cried today,
after so much things on my shoulder,
and i cried coz i miss home...

after so much things happening over here,
what i could really miss is home..
i've never had this feelings before,
never ever loved my home so much..
what im hoping now is,
go home and spend lotz of time with my family..
now it's like 0019,
and im so stressed up...

Lotz of think cocked up,
lotz of things fucked up..
yet,
that's much more for me to learn,
much more for me to endure..
i'm losing my momentum on this A's..
and it's freaking tiring..
how i wish it would be over like real soon..
Days were so different from SPM..
where i slacked off nearly all the paper,
as i was too complacent..

I made my own cheesecake with munkit and quang,
i love my sweet stuff..
i bought myself a new slippers =)
i love it like hell lot...
=)
im loving each and everyday,
and my days are gonna end soon in singapore..
Im gonna miss NYJC,
Esplanade library,
Oldham hall,
Sentosa,
ECP,
MRTs,
and of coz Parry hall..

arh,
days are like gonna end soon,
and it's time to pack myself up to the next stage of life,
wonder what will happen when i reach the end of my life..
where will i go?
what will happen?
really,
im freaking out just by thinking bout that..
everyone will be forgotten someday,
and what's gonna happen?
im scared..
i love those dear to me,
i dun wanna take them for granted,
and im giving my best to them..
Yet,
sometimes,
i feel like being taken for granted,
am fine with that,
but please do not go overboard,
as this is the sensitive period that we all will break down very easily..
I cried,
coz i realise my frens are not that expressive,
and im just too tired to figure out..
Eventually,
im at fault..
sorry..
Arh..
anyway,
exams are bad,
and stress is devouring everyone...

i love Table tennis,
and jiayou Zhen Ting,
though i nv really spend time with u..
hope,
u will made the correct decision,
and hope u have a bright future,
All the best..

Thanks world for wonderful days everyday..
I love my life,
thanks to u who plans every single bits and pieces of my life...
thanks..

Songs i loved.... =)

圆缘圈

手牵着手
我们共围个圈
圈中又圈
圈着我们的心

心牵着心
我们共画个圈
圈中又圈
为生命画圆

相聚是缘 完美是缘
让完美的缘能变得更圆
让我们感谢父母恩情
让我们圆缘

惜缘是圆 一切随缘
当你遇到挫折切莫忘记
我们彼此还拥有这份
最圆的缘

当岁月在考验我们
记得为彼此画圈
把彼此的圈画得更圆
圈着彼此的缘



团圆

一个人孤孤单单走到海角天边
偶尔想从前回味成长的酸和甜
多希望有一天能再轻抚你的脸
再多的辛苦
披星戴月
心甘情愿
全世界
走一遍
不枉来人间兜一圈
梦可以
很遥远
狂风暴雨都不改变
全世界
心相连
用爱围一个大圈圈
梦就算
再遥远
心里有家就会团圆

Midst of Preparation for As..

Now,
i noe how korkor feels..
how stressful the education could be in singapore.
Im tired of this last lap..
im putting my effort,
my best effort,
but still,
i cannot do much..
im so weak..

"This is the last leg of the race, Charge on all the way!"
Marky sent me this with a chocolate biscuit..
How sweet that is..
really,
im touched,
by what this tiny little things people are giving me at this moment..
Thanks a lot,
all my friends..

Quan,
thanks for everything,
calming me down,
baring with my angst,
and every single frustration u get from me..
im sorry..
really,
thanks for everything,
all the accompany,
and all the encouragement..
Thanks a lot...

Eddie,
wonderful buddy u r there,
was just joking bout having dinner over at ur place,
immediately u would wanna call ur mom to prepare some extra for us..
Thanks eddie,
for being so accommodating..

Yannie,
thanks for all the things u helped me,
especially in maths..
and every thing else..

MingSze,
for the mahjongs,
swimming plans and everything,
thanks,
for even offering the place for us to study..

Matthew,
for those funny looks u gave us,
for studying together..

Evelyn,
arh.. thanks for studying with me..
i hope u r more confident..
and jiayou..

Rud,
for always being there for me..
i thank u for the care u've always given me..

In this midst of preparation,
im so sorry coz i've like having some friendship drifting further away from me..
Fear has crippled all over me..
SPM was a piece of cake coz i know im coming here...
A levels determines everything..
and im scared..
really freaking out..
i hope i would feel this way like so much earlier
so i could do much more..
but whatever it is..
im glad for whatever happened
and i will do my best
for eveyrthing now on..
really..
thanks for all the supports..
Thanks for everything..
Venn here,
still doing fine,
and im still loving my life,
forever i hope =)

Blogging?

Hmm..
It has been quite some time since i blogged.
In this messy moment,
im breaking down soon..
im tired,
exhausted
dying..
Yet,
im happy to have this kind of life,
im glad that everything is fine now.
I noe im not 100% prepared,
i noe im not working to my maximum capacity,
but im glad that this is my best effort in education ever since young.
Never have i felt insecure in studies,
never have i felt helpless in studies,
never have i felt so enjoyable while studying,
until i came to Singapore

I formatted my comp,
i lost the link to all the blogs i used to visit,
and now,
i've got it back..
Even though i've spent quite some time searching it,
which i should be using it to study,
but i feel so much better..
even though we lost contact,
even though we are so like acquaintance now,
i dun care..
coz we were once friend,
close friend,
buddy..
I doubt u r still reading my blog,
but im fine with it..
the awkwardness i use to feel has started melting away,
at least,
we still smile when we meet..
and,
i won't forget the times i spent at ur place..
I thank you for everything u have given me during my wonderful singapore life..
I'm still waiting for the A's to be over,
so that we could at least talk once again,
even though the chances are so low..
i still believe,
if we both care for the friendship,
we will eventually be still friends.
Even if i had to go back to malaysia,
Fate would bring us back once again,
if we are fated to be friends..
And all i wish is,
u take care and hope u r successful with ur aims and goals..
All the best, Nic

I dropped by ur photobucket,
i saw some familiar photos,
and this 3 are those taken when we had our dinner,
if i was not wrong,
it's 30th April.
And i would wanna remember that moment,
we both are so frank to each other,
and we talked so much..
Eventually,
i know what's done couldn't be undone,
and u keep insisting that i've taken side..
U did too..
Remember that,
we both took sides with both we strongly believe in..
And,
eventually,
those things does not really started from us.
and i hope things would get better,
and yup,
let our juniors settle themselves..
Guess im old and tired of these things anymore,
what matters most is our A's now..
I really wish u all the best in ur future endeavours.
I'll remember you,
Nic Tay

0816 - The most beloved class ever..

0816,
it was just like yesterday since we met,
fated i shall say,
of so many classes with the same combination,
we r put altogether,
in this wonderful class.
No doubt,
we are just so different from one another,
put together,
and yet we clique so well,
and our character compliments one another's
It was wonderful when i speak about it,
and it is just so amazing,
how could 24 people of different character,
still manage to blend together so well..
I believe,
this bond is just wonderful..

It was Level Camp,
when i first saw all of u..
I was scared,
coz i'm a Malaysian..
I heard of outcasts,
i heard of unfriendly attitudes towards foreigners,
but it never ever happened to me..
It was tough being a facil for our own class,
it was tough not going through orientation with u guys,
i thought i have missed the chance to really know each other.
i remembered i cried during end of the session,
i remembered talking bout my scar and sacrificing for the class,
which i really meant it..
i still know each and everyone of u,
well enough...

Normal lessons started,
from J1 to J2...
It was hard to cope with our studies,
it was hard for me to really blend into our class..
I was trapped between council and squash,
and i didn't had passion towards our class..
I'm Sorry,
and now i noe,
the greatest support of going school,
is Our class,
is 0816,
is all of u,
is my new family..

Thanks to QH,
we are bonded so well..
We have different attitudes towards him,
Hatred, Pity, Fear and there weren't any good feelings bout him..
He started all himself,
even till the last day,
he was absent,
and it was the really worst thing he should do..
I would still pray for him..
that he would at least learn to socialise..

J1 was happy moments,
till PW came out,
which was madness,
and then comes Midyears,
and then Promos,
finally OP..
Promos,
was worrying,
and i really hoped,
each and everyone of us has successfully get to J2..
and my prayers were answered..
and i forgot when,
my heart was much more with our class than any one else..

Thank you my dearest class,
i find that sometimes i really neglected u..
when council was busy,
u all never gave me up,
even though i was dying,
u all supported me..
u all never really talked bad bout council,
and even suggested stuff bout council..
Fridays when we are wearing class-T,
i had to wear council-T,
Even so,
no complaints made..
I'm really thankful for all the supports u all gave..

Till i step down from council,
i realised,
My class was so so so so much more wonderful..
We clique,
but then we still interact among each other,
we tease each other,
we really still laugh at each other..
and there are down moments,
where we were really there for one another..
i regretted skipping school when i was in J1..
coz i've lost so many many chances to really spend time with u all..

Yet,
we have stayed strong till the end,
i'm really very glad that we are just so wonderful..
23 people,
1 class,
1 heart,
and that's what i love..
I really love this class...
and thanks very much for painting my JC life so wonderful..
It's so hard to really express myself,
but i really love 0816 till the max..
Let's work hard for our A Levels... =)

Ming Sze
Thanks for everything you've done for the class..
You are really a knowledgeable person,
and thanks a lot in helping in a lot of ways..
Even though we argued a lot,
yet,
it never really affect our friendship..
Those touching in lectures would be memorable to u =)

Pynx
Thanks for everything, be it council or the class..
You've always praised that i'm very gentleman,
but then,
i realise i'm not gentleman enough..
Thanks for trusting me so much,
and telling me so much things to me bout yourself..
I love ur dancing and your sensitiveness and sportiness =)

Chiam
Thanks for everything, especially those helps in events..
Those last minutes had given you so much troubles..
And i really love ur attitude when u are working for the best (The One)
B***hing in class was fun,
but i dun really get to do that with you..
Maybe some other time kk?

Jamie
You are really wonderful..
You made the effort just for the class..
The last minute photo takings,
and the photo uploads are really fast..
and i really thank you for everything..
=) i shall conform... EAT MORE kk?

Evelyn
I was amazed and shocked that PW result day..
The way u spoke to Hui Quan,
was just so shocking and so matured..
Ever since then,
I know u r really matured,
and u are really putting in a lot of effort for everything..
Especially for class activities,
you are always there..
Thanks...

Hannah
Hmm.. i love your easy-going character..
=) i love your dancing,
and i really love spending with you =)
Sorry for the lactose intolerant incident..
Thanks for the wonderful outings that we had =)

Eddie
Omg, I thank you for a lot of things..
Thanks for bringing home-cooked food,
and it really makes me feel so warm and at home in Singapore..
You showed me that people can be accomodating,
and it really touches me when i'm a foreigner..
Thanks a lot eddie for the jokes and laughter we shared,
and even physics that you taught me..
Thanks a lot

HongZuo
ever since that incident,
i know you really much more..
You are just so kind-hearted and dedicated..
It wasn't your fault,
but was her choice,
i hope u get over it..
Thanks for making my Asean Dance wonderful,
Thanks for all the silly things that made us laugh..
I'll remember..
"Why would u buy a diamond even during recession?"
"Because it's shiny"
=)

YiXuan
Thanks a lot for our PW stuff..
You are a good leader,
who is always there for each meeting,
even if u r late by a minute,
you would still contact us in advance..
I love to make u stone coz u dunno how to react,
and i love ur helpfulness..
Thanks alot for putting so much effort for the class too..
You are always there for the class..
Thanks

Rebekah
You are really prettyl.. =)
and i really like the way u match ur earring and hairband =)
and i love your sportiness especially in sports..
oh,
i love ur cool and calm reaction even though u r so nervous inside.
Haha.. =)
Thanks a lot for being so supportive..

HuiQuan
Haha.. whatever i need to tell you,
i think you already know,
i thank you for always being there for me,
so supportive and so encouraging..
You are an amazingly good listener,
that provokes everyone to speak to u..
Mama of the class,
keep it up..

Justin
"Nicely Done"
"Good Job"
and i'm gonna miss all these..
I'm gonna miss the days that you make fun of Diana and Hui Hui..
and thanks a lot,
in participating in the class events,
and representing our class in the sports games..
Thanks a lot for being there for the class..

Matthew
You are streetwise,
and u know how to behave in different situations..
Supportive for the class,
and thanks for the smses..
I love ur punctuality and always being there for our class..

YanJie
The early bird of our class..
Went through a lot of similar situations as me..
Always sensitive towards how others feel..
You always cool me down and spot for my down moments..
and provide encouragement and listening ears to me...
Thanks a lot for everything..

MingWei
Darling.. It was like so long ago since i've called u that..
We have drifted apart but i hope to keep this friendship forever..
I'm sorry for not being there when u really needed me..
and Thank you for everything,
Wonderful moments in council,
supportive to the class,
the moments we pon-ed lessons,
and the visit to ur house..
=) Thanks for always being there for me..

TeckWei
I call you Darling
I know you are one person who are so dedicated to your relationship..
You are so cool especially when u play badminton... =)
I like ur hugs and massages..
i'm gonna miss them,
and thanks a lot for those friendly hugs that made me felt warm..
Thanks for everything..

Diana
Assistant Class Rep..
Even though u r blur,
I know that u r very observant..
Very mild-tempered and patient even when people tease and make fun of you..
Thanks for cheering the class up and bringing so much laughter to the class..

Terence
Hi Then,
i love those moments DotA-ing with u..
And you are really smart =)
Thanks for teaching me stuff by provoking me to think,
and that really made me learn..
Thanks for being there for the class always..

HuiHui
I love ur voice..
You can really sing but please sing at a correct time =)
and i love speaking Jap with ya.. =) those were fun moments,
when we speak some language others dun understand..
Haha..
Thanks for being so cheerful (even though u have ur soft side)
but i am grateful for what you've done for the class,
encouraging and inspiring..

Prae
Darling~~
"I watch PORN everyday" =)
You are always so gentle and approachable..
You tried to be there for us,
even though u have something else..
Very thoughtful as u always photocopy notes for us,
Thank you very much for all the supports to the class..

ChoonLian
Brother,
I really love spending time with you..
I remembered the time we ate at Tiong Bahru,
That was the only day we had together..
haha.. sound so wrong,
but i'm grateful for u always being there for me..
Even though those teasing was just for fun,
but i hope u know the limit kk? ><
I love u still, brother =)

Kristle,
My one and only dear OG-mate..
I was glad to know that you are in my class..
The first person i know in class =)
I'm gonna miss those moments poking you,
and you make those funny sounds.. sounds wrong but we know what =) hhaha
Thanks for always being there for the class,
and putting in the effort for the class..

Zipporah
Hey Zip,
I know you through Bel..
Remember?
haha.. i love those heart to heart talk,
even though it was awkward for u,
but u still share..
I love talking to u real much,
and i really love ur frankness..
Thanks for everything,
especially you made the effort just to come to school even if you are sick..
Thanks a lot...

I would like to dedicate this song Graduation to all of u..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWitXo2sgJ0

I'm sorry if i've ever hurt anyone in any way..
I think,
my decision to Singapore wasn't a wrong choice,
and i never ever regretted my choice...
I've never felt contented of my life,
until i came to NYJC,
with so many wonderful people around me,
with 2 families i belonged to, (0816, NY31SC)
with so many caring friends around,
with so many soulmates..
How could i ask for more?

I'm happy with my life..
I'm gonna miss all of u..
let's be friends forever..
0816,
that will always live on..

Graduation...

2 years have gone by so fast..
in a blink of an eye,
it's time for the word GRADUATION..

it's never easy to come over to Singapore to study,
but i really am glad that i've made the correct choice to come over..
Not really bout the studies,
but in fact what really builds me up in my character..
I have no regret coming over even with the stress level i'm experiencing..
I proud to say,
i survived Singapore's education system..

Thinking back,
it was like just yesterday,
when everything happened..
I miss nearly everything i have gone through..
From Orientation,
Level Camp,
Council Camp,
Council Nomination,
Teacher's Day,
Council Retreat,
Class Outings,
and many other things that i've participated..
They just flashed like a movie..
Playing fastforward.
OMG,
i'm gonna miss this life,
this contented life,
that i never really ask for more,
For what i have around me is so blessed..
Buddies surround me,
Caring teachers,
Wonderful classmates,
and my new families here in school..
What more could i ask?
Nothing..
really..

Graduation,
coming so fast,
and it's indicating that im growing up,
and what's more to come,
is not really very positive,
coz we do not really noe what's gonna happen in our future.
Could time jus stop now?
i really want to keep this moment..
but i can't preserve time..
I really love this moment of my life..
Thanks to everyone that add in the smiles and laughter in my life..
Thanks to everything that's wonderful.
Thanks to each and everyone..
Thanks..
Thanks for the arrangement..

For it to come,
i will need to prepare myself..
I will definitely cry on graduation day,
I WILL...
and im crying now already..
i will really miss this moment of my life..
i'm glad it happened..
i've chosen the correct path...

时光一去不复返，剩下的是你我的回忆。

我依然读了你的部落各。
那天与你插身而过，
明明就是有眼神的交叉，
但，
你显得无事，
显得很自然，
根本就没感觉。
我，
却为此事而感到尴尬。
毕竟，
我们曾经是朋友。
读了你的布罗格，
看了你与别人的比较，
我觉得，
人，
就是那么不一样，
能够相处，
能够互相接受，
才是生活里的任命。
我不会是那种你失去后会感到遗憾的朋友，
毕竟，
我与你的相识至相处，
也只有那短短的几个月。
哈！
我觉得自己很可笑。

说真的，
我真是在建筑空中之城。
很多事，
我觉得自己能够改变，
但，
自己是那么无能为力。
我真的比不上你那些莫逆之交，
也许，
距离是最好的决定。

我买了一本书。
与中五的那一本拥有着相同的目的。
眨眼间，
两年又过了。
这次，
时间过得很快，
很多事情在开始，
很多事情在发生，
很多事情在演变，
很多事情在结束。
也许这是生命的经历。

坦白说，
这两年以来，
我学了很多东西。
我了解，
一个课外活动可以成为一个家庭。
一所学校可以成为一间家。
一段感情可以是那么脆弱。
一段友情可以是永久。
一切都会改变。
是好是坏，
全都是由自己的看法来决定。
在异乡的感觉，
真是不好受。
每逢佳节倍思亲，
这一句是没错的。

感觉上，
自己也变了很多。
成熟了不少。
真的。
学会了怎么哭。
学会了怎么笑。
学会了怎么放纵。
学会了怎么打扮。
学会了怎么沟通。
学会了怎么爱护。
学会了怎么珍惜。
可能，
我的人生是注定到来新加坡。

多亏我的同班同学，
多亏我和蔼可亲的教师。
多亏我得知几们。
多亏一切鼓励我的人。
不然，
我早已崩溃。
我早已放弃。

两年，
从一个独汉。
自己挣扎，
开始新的一段路，
至一个被围伴的开心果。
想起那段路，
真是不好走。
但，
先苦后天，
我尝试到了。

我会想念着量的时光。
坎坷的人生，
挣扎的时刻，
就时间建造我的主要成份。

我爱我的人生。
我爱我拥有的这一切。
我感谢这一切的安排。